She caught he eye and smiled and chuckled, it sounded like the rumble from a partially blocked sink.
"Ere, luv" She shouted "you aven't got a tissue you, av' yer?"

"Errr, no" he said, looking to one side and fidgetting with his car keys in his pocket.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 21:53, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

"Daaarn't worry about it luv!" She guffawed
and gave herself a quick wipe off with her left hand, before smearing it across the Vectra's windscreen, leaving a greast residue behind.

"Errrm, actually, that's my car" Said Wet Ham Man.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)

Psst!
I always carry tissues.
( girlinthehole, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Who is wet ham man?
must have been before my time
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 21:57, Reply)

ONLY THE BEST LOOKIN GUY YOU@VE EVER SEEN, AND BIGGERS FUCKED HIM
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post785859
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:05, Reply)

what happened to weighted companion cube?
we got a flood of n3wbs and i forgot about that one
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:08, Reply)

I'm pretty sure that one was a sock puppet account.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:11, Reply)

wasn't it bobby?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:20, Reply)

weighted companion cube is now The Luggage.
Bobby was soul something, but he only lasted for about a day.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:23, Reply)

his name was matthew
foolishly his user name was wehttamman and he was deluged with pictures and references to wet ham until he fled.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:06, Reply)

It's taken me until now to understand the name.
MMMMMNNNGHHHH
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:22, Reply)

I like it when you're special.
Is your hot flatmate okay with all the scaryness of last night?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:27, Reply)

Yeah she's fine.
She's a tough girlie.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)

You sure she doesn't need a big strong man to come round and check her windows are shut properly.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Her "windows" are "shut tight" to you, young man.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:35, Reply)

I was going to volunteer Gonz actually
I'm down on the south coast at the moment, bit to far to come just to rattle a handle.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:37, Reply)

Hope it's not shambling inbred riots xxx

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:39, Reply)

She grinned eve wider, displaying the remains of the doner kebab she'd just eaten
fragments of grey meat stuck to her front teeth, with bits of onion stuck to the side of her mouth.

"Looks like I'd better 'make it up to you' then, doesn't it?" She said with a sly wink.

Wet Ham Man shifted nervously from one leg to the other.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 21:57, Reply)

"Um, well, you know, there is something I've been wondering about you since I saw you" He said, his voice cracked and stuttered
as though he was working himself up for what was going to come next.

"Go on luv, I'm pretty unshockable" said BGB.

"It's just ... well, you see ..."

"Spit it out luv! Just so you know though, I don't"

"Okay, well, thing is, I've always wanted to push some wet ham up a ladies back passage, and then have her squeeze it out over my face while I wank myself off, then, just as I'm about to come, she sits down and mashes it into my nose and mouth"

BGB's eyes widened in surprise.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

I'm very ambivalent about what it says if I click "I like this"

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 22:07, Reply)