first one - i could just give you a list of names
and not getting into oxford the first time round

i still really really want to go travelling. i am quite tempted just to let the flat and fuck off for 12 months on the proceeds. we'll see.

my legs, natch.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:28, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Must be lovely when someone else buys you a huge flat in central london
so you can just rent it out without having to worry about covering the mortgage.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

just getting some assistance from someone else must be quite nice frankly

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

the honest non-flippant non-b3ta truth?
when it's your inheritance from losing a parent at just 27, it is still a lovely thing to have... but you'd pull the place down brick by brick just to have one more phone call with them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)

stop ruining our fun

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:37, Reply)

al LIKES mocking people's grief though, vipros
it makes him feel more secure about himself, for some reason.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)

It balances the grief he feels for the loss of his hair

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:42, Reply)

and his anal virginity

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:42, Reply)

and sphincter control

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:43, Reply)

If my hair had left me hundreds of thousands of pounds
I'd be happy to let it go.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:43, Reply)

Do you disagree with inheritance?
i know in America, for example they take a very different view to leaving money to children etc
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:45, Reply)

do they?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:45, Reply)

I have heard that rich Americans
are less likely to leave their entire estates to their children, due to their "new money" attitude ie you make it yourself.

I'm positive that this is in no way universal
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:47, Reply)

that's just stupid
and I can say this from a position of never going to get an inheritance
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Do your parents hate you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:50, Reply)

no, they just like squandering their money on stuff
which I can totally appreciate.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:52, Reply)

Difficult to get cross with them, I mean they don't 'owe' you anything

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:53, Reply)

not in the least bit cross, that would be weird.
we openly discuss it in a half-jokey manner. Their paintings and clocks have practically got mine and my brother's names on them. My parents started it though!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:55, Reply)

I'm sure they'll leave him enough for a packet of monster munch
and a pint of stella after the funeral.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:55, Reply)

The place I go for a pub quiz on Mondays does a fantastic pint of Stella
I'm so glad I've been skint recently, or I'd just end up bankrupting myself there.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:05, Reply)

I have no problem with inheritance.
Ideally I would like to be in a position to help out any progeny of mine while I am alive, whilst hopefully not causing them to actually rely on me, but I would also like to leave them stuff when I finally shuffle off this mortal coil.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:50, Reply)

with a bit of luck the rancid little cunts will be stillborn
and your wife will leave you for a man with real spunk. then you can look around you for the kind of love and support that you give out so generously to everyone else.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:10, Reply)

When the two of you finally have sex
it's going to cause earthquakes.
( Kroney, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:39, Reply)

clearly it didn't love you enough

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:50, Reply)

If yours had loved you more, she might have tried a bit harder to still be here.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:51, Reply)

new level of lameness here
you're losing it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:06, Reply)

Swings and roundabouts
I used my inheritance from my dad's death to put an extension on my house.

I used my inheritance from my mum's death to buy the aforementioned screaming harridan out of said house.

I suspect as a result, I've paid for the extension 1 and a half times.

Sad times all round.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:44, Reply)

And your cock is still only 3 inches long

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:48, Reply)

tenants rent. landlords let.
you ignorant little mess.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

meh, semantics
possibly important in your job. Of no importance outside it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)

it's also important when people are being pricks

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:38, Reply)

, and s
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

HA!
I couldn't work this out at first.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

striking through a comma doesn't work too well

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Lucky that Al and I are so very fucking clever then

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)

so very
clever

I fail to see what that has to do with it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:38, Reply)

hahahaha
i approve
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

You're some kind of badass strikethrough ninja today

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Who siad they were dead eh?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Swipe and the reverend both did, up there ^
you insensitive bastard.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Yeah, but they both probably deserved it.

Or one of them at least.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:48, Reply)

ouch
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:51, Reply)

I got told off yesterday
for suggesting that you and DJ might have anything other than a gentlemanly platonic relationship.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:08, Reply)

it's not controversial when you've done it soooo many times before
then again, i might be bitter and repetitive too if i worked my arse off but still only got to exist in a shithole.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:09, Reply)

sometimes there just seem to be better setups for it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Hang about
Is that... MODESTY?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:07, Reply)

I can be modest you know
I do believe in credit where it's due however, and that includes blowing my own trumpet (so to speak) sometimes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:08, Reply)

Yes, yes, I know that REALLY mate
For god's sake play up to the meme, it's Friday and we need our bread and circuses
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:10, Reply)

sorry, my work ethic is tugging at my attention somewhat
I'm not going to actually do any work, but I can't stop feeling like I should...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Hahaha
Played
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 19 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)