I have returned!
You can all breathe easily now as I am back.

So, what have i missed?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:47, 78 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

*Breathe*
That is all.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Oh shit.
I've been back 5 minutes and I've made a fucking typo. It's all the gin and tonic.

Hang on, I'll do a ninja edit and no one will notice.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:50, Reply)

Cool, who are you by the way?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:50, Reply)

I used to be Someone Else (name changed to protect the innocent)
and I make cakes. Lots and lots of lovely cakes, and some biscuits.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:51, Reply)

Oh right, Gnome sweet Gnome and all that
MistaSpakkerman aint here any more, last I heard he's molesting minors in America
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:53, Reply)

That's the stuff
Oh that was a long time ago when I didn't have a job and had nothing better to do all day.
So, what news from the front?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:54, Reply)

Nothing
Apart from a few good flounces and admissions from several posters of commiting incest with family members
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:02, Reply)

And the continual cry of it used to be fun here and now IT@S REALLY SHIT I@M OFF FOREVER !!!!!!!!!!!
excepting the minor detail that it's always been shit
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:03, Reply)

I still can't get used to
these nested replies though.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:04, Reply)

There used to be a /talker who was a bugger for that.
Used to huff around and sullenly detract from the board nearly 24/7, then would often flounce forever (a few weeks). His gimmick was posting "you're shit".

A bit like Mortal Wombat, except some people actually liked him and he was more aggressive than needy.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:09, Reply)

/talks gone to the dogs in the evenings, the same predictable shit from the usual suspects

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:11, Reply)

Who flounced?
And more over who fucked their sister?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:04, Reply)

It's pretty boring by this stage but Robert of Dorking fucked his underage half sister, he also got sucked off by Becky jizzbox who in turn also commits incest (well according to Robert of Dorking)

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:07, Reply)

screwing your sister is bad enough
but underage? That's classy!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:09, Reply)

He was a tabboo breaker, we're all at it now

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:10, Reply)

But what if you don't have an underage sister?
Anyways, did I know you in the days before nested replies?
Did you go by another name?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:13, Reply)

It's all changed, it's all one big nonce site these days, you're only accepted if you can swopse category 5 child porn
Got anything (in)decent?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:15, Reply)

I've heard Piston poked it into Rachelswipe too.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:18, Reply)

Swipe has higher standards than Piston, surely?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:20, Reply)

Just repeating what I've heard here.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:20, Reply)

Who told you that?
It sounds juicy as fuck if it's true.

Which I highly doubt. Rachel is a woman of extremely high standards.

And I get the impression that Piston would shout 'POP UP PIRATE!' at the moment of orgasm. Is that just me that thinks that?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:25, Reply)

I don't know, maybe they got ridiculously drunk?
The lad's intolerably annoying if you're sober; for that reason alone I can't even imagine him getting that far and to be honest I'm disgusting myself by thinking about it.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:34, Reply)

Sounds dubious.
Does he still do standup?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:37, Reply)

God no.
He nearly died when he saw the video.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:41, Reply)

It is definitely a once in a lifetime performance.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:43, Reply)

/offtopic is now brought to you in association with the SOCIEDAD DEL APRECIO DEL MEXAN HAT, the world society dedicated to the promotion and preservation of Mexan hats.
We would like to reassure our readers that this will in no way alter /offtopic's fiercely independent output.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:50, Reply)

Who are you?
/noob(ish)

Edit: Never mind, have seen your reply to Rory, and remember you. I like Cake.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:52, Reply)

I've answered that up there
More to the point, who are you lot and who's drunk all the gin?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:52, Reply)

I'm QUixote and I'm loverly, if a bit creepy
Captain Placid, I have no idea, Rory's a cunt and Zippy seems to be OK even if no one can spell his name, I think he used to be Woodside, so why he didn't stick at that I'll never know.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:54, Reply)

I remember
The Captain from the old days.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:56, Reply)

Still here!
lurking mostly - and trying to persuade Pooflake to come back into the fold*.

*Damn! That sounds like a sexual innuendo!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:02, Reply)

Pooflake, aw
I see that BGB is still knocking about.
What about Ancrene and her knickers?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:03, Reply)

I got tired of that name, and wanted protect my identity.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:57, Reply)

Fair do's
but until you call your self something I can pronounce, "Zippy" it is.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:07, Reply)

But when do you have to say
Gvpyczjppcl ?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:09, Reply)

pronounce, type, all the same to me.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:14, Reply)

See sig.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Fulham have just signed Bryan Ruiz for £11m. That's bare moneys.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:53, Reply)

Nobdy asked you, bugger off at start a sport thread.
Hi Baz, how's life?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:55, Reply)

hello
I meant to leave right now, but I didn't. I remember you, but I changed my name, so you won't remember me.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:56, Reply)

I changed my name too
Like a caked up ninja.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:56, Reply)

Ninjas with cakes would be cool
you'd get cake, but have no idea how

(I was probably camel related incident when you were around)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 22:57, Reply)

Seems to ring a bell
So what news or has everyone just spent the last three years talking about what they are having for lunch?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:00, Reply)

um...I'm afraid it's mostly been lunch
there's been a few flounces and Bert went a bit mental a couple of times. Some other girl turned up a few times and was a bit crazy then went away again. We've not had any proper mentals for a while, though. It's possible everyone is a sockpuppet of everyone else
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:02, Reply)

Bert was always mental
Anyone sending pictures of genitalia or having illicit affairs?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:05, Reply)

Cockgazzes- just my ongoing erotic correspondence with Rory. It's a mutual thing.
Illicit affairs- things have been getting steamy between Monty and Darth again. They just can't give up the quending, it's an addiction for them.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:27, Reply)

Live at the Apollo ad astra

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:06, Reply)

Same old shit, different cast.
Did Arsenal get Arteta? AAAAAAH NERVES.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:13, Reply)

Yep, deal confirmed.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:18, Reply)

Neepshow

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:21, Reply)

PHEW

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:21, Reply)

Alright?
I loved your other half's animation. I pointed it out to some graphic design mates of mine. They rated him too.

Rory mentioned Gnome Sweet Gnome. That tentinygnomes bird, I always thought her boyfriend was punching well above his weight.

Just thought I'd share.

Welcome back.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:14, Reply)

Hello Plum
Which animation? I don't recall him doing one.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:16, Reply)

There was this:
www.b3ta.com/board/10491800
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:18, Reply)

liveinabin.com
The sound effects rule too.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:18, Reply)

Damn, well remembered.
It's gone now.
There will be something new coming soon.
I'll be sure to pimp the tits off it here.

If course he is a jobbing illustrator so if any of your mates have any work going ........
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:22, Reply)

I have mates who are freelancers, some work for companies and a couple have their own companies.
Gaz me a link to his portfolio and I'll pimp it around.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:23, Reply)

Would do but he's not really got one as such
it's not his actual job really. He just does it on the side.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:26, Reply)

Any examples you could link to?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:27, Reply)

I'm trying to find some online.
He can be a bugger for this some times.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:30, Reply)

Evening

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:17, Reply)

I remember you old chap!
Hellos.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:18, Reply)

Hello there!
How are you?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:19, Reply)

I'm fucking brilliant
because I've just had 6 weeks off.
How about yourself?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:23, Reply)

Teacher?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:25, Reply)

Yes indeed.

( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:29, Reply)

God, I'm like Sherlock Holmes lately!
Well, done, Hope it's a proper subject and not PE or Geography.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:31, Reply)

It's reception
Teaching people who may shit themselves at a moments notice it always fun.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:36, Reply)

ahh, right, small proto-people
as you were, carry on the good work.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:37, Reply)

Ahh, fantastic!
I'm a bit annoyed atm, was meant to be doing some numeracy tests tonight, 4 or 5 of them, but after 2, I just couldn't concentrate. They were so I could practise for one I'm taking tomorrow.

If I pass it (which I'm sure I will), I should get an interview. If I get the job, my starting salary is around £5k more than I'm on at the minute, so it's all good!

And I'm rather jealous of your time off, hehe.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:25, Reply)

Oh bent
What kind of numeracy?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:29, Reply)

From what I can tell, it'll be based around sales on a year by year basis, and working out comparisons between them.
Shouldn't be too bad really, I'm alright at maths, just not done it in a while.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:30, Reply)

That sounds no fun
I'm actually a specialist maths teacher but only if you are working below a level two, which means you struggle to get the number 1 - 10 in order. Don't think I can help much.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:37, Reply)

Haha, not to worry!
I remember your story in the 'Absolute Power' QOTW, made me smile.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:43, Reply)

Aw bless you
This year I have reception so this is children in their first year of real school.
We start numeracy by teaching the concept of 1.
Strangely we start to teach reading with the letter s.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:46, Reply)

1 and 0 are the most important numbers.
Along with π, e and √-1, but they'll come across them in due time.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:49, Reply)

I taught nursery last year and I got them to prove their existence
before I'd let them go and play.

They managed it too.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:55, Reply)

You're name is familiar so you are probably alright, hello.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:22, Reply)

Right, bed time
Nice chating with you guys.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 31 Aug 2011, 23:59, Reply)