Och Aye Benders!
What have I missed this week?

I'm shattered.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:30, 125 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

where have you been?
i'm packing.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:33, Reply)

North of the border.
Are you packing for a proper flouce, or because you've got to go back to noncing school?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:34, Reply)

He's packing heat
He's gonna shoot some dumb-assed mutha.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:36, Reply)

wales move.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:42, Reply)

How far have you got?
My guess is a spare pair of pants and your drums.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:42, Reply)

Drums were first in the van, then mattress, clothes, books, dvds, all packed
shit loads more to do. How was your excursion?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Good.
Just a bit tired now. Did pretty much a 20hr day and then a 16hr day and then 13 hours today.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:51, Reply)

bleaugh!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:53, Reply)

Mallet's Mallet.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:55, Reply)

Unsatisfactory cricket
Approaching the 10th anniversary of the twin towers stuff.

How far out of circulation have you been?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:35, Reply)

Not very.
Just from Wednesday. Come on, India was due a change in fortune.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:38, Reply)

They're still shite
But we've descended to their level.

You on the Edinburgh gig then?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:40, Reply)

I was. I've just come back.
Thanks to DG, I visited far more pubs that expected!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:40, Reply)

Not been drinking in Edinburgh for many years
Not much Cider action up there, is there?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Not that I found. But I got on the ale in a fairly resonable way.
On reflection, I'd have achieved a lot more work if I'd have stayed out of the pub, but what can you do, eh?

How is business your end?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Rather stagnant at the moment.
My fault for not following leads up.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:48, Reply)

I thought you were more Bradford than Leads! :)

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:49, Reply)

This is no time for puns
I live in North West Leeds, I'll have you know.

(Actually it's Bradford but nobody admits to living in Bradford).
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:53, Reply)

I'm surprised anyone would want to admit to living in Leeds either!
:)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:55, Reply)

I'm too knacked to get into the arguement.
But Leeds is the best city in the UK.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:59, Reply)

After Bristol.
(No returns)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:14, Reply)

this is all nonsense
there is a big sign in swansea that says

"Swansea, second greatest city after Paris"

i properly lolled

I photographed it, but it's on my phone. Luckily someone else did too www.flickr.com/photos/chough/5706206642/
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:16, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:18, Reply)

how was the jaunt?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Quite good. Did some good project research, got nicely drunk and rinsed the expenses as much as I could.
I'm tired though.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:46, Reply)

so less traumatic than you'd thought?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:47, Reply)

Yeah. But I'm tired Captain.
Hear that? TIRED.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:48, Reply)

i can empathise with that
induction week is crazy - one of my colleagues was so tired and brain-fucked the other day she had to ask a shop assistant to help her count out £6 from her purse, as her brain wouldn't process it.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:51, Reply)

How many new students have you go this year... And. Does your new timetable allow PIER TIME?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:54, Reply)

billions (although I've not met them all yet)
and no. Unless you can put off the pier until 5:30
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Ask B3th, she has put it off for about 3 years!
:-)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:58, Reply)

yeah, but everyone's going early
so they can go to stinky London and see Monty and lick his bumhole or something
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:59, Reply)

:(
No chance of you making the London bash then?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:59, Reply)

i suppose I could in theory
but between rail fares and places to stay it'll be pretty steep for a night out.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:02, Reply)

a grand display of pigeon holing
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pigeon+holing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:36, Reply)

Who on earth has been doing that?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:38, Reply)

who knows
you don't think they'd do it without being anonymous, do you?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:44, Reply)

You're not going to be anonymous for long
If you're walking about with cooing sounds coming out of your trousis.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:46, Reply)

i think they would squark more than coo
I'd be shouting pretty loud if I was stuck in someone's ass
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:52, Reply)

Depends which way you inserted them
I may experiment tomorrow.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:55, Reply)

with a good firm push
i'd imagine
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:57, Reply)

But head or arse first?

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:00, Reply)

you'll only know if you try both

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:03, Reply)

Are you asking me to push two pigeons up my arse at the same time?
WHAT SORT OF FILTHY PERVERT ARE YOU???

I'm ringing the Daily Mail RIGHT NOW.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:05, Reply)

If you get pigeon AIDS
You'll be a carrier.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:07, Reply)

and that would be
unCOOl
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:08, Reply)

It might cause your STOOL(pigeons) to get all soft.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:12, Reply)

oh Jeff, you wood
pigeon
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:18, Reply)

Ahh, it dove'nt matter.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:19, Reply)

you say that now you've
been collareddove
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:21, Reply)

Serious question.
Have you ever seen a baby pigeon?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:22, Reply)

I hear them in the nests
in town, but no, I don't think I have
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:23, Reply)

I don't think anyone has ever seen a baby pigeon.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:24, Reply)

mummy and daddy pigeons have

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:26, Reply)

I don't think baby pigeons exist.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:26, Reply)

they don't think you exist

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:29, Reply)

I'm a statue.
I'm like a god to them.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:30, Reply)

a god
they shit on
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:35, Reply)

I may already have got ringworm from the new kitty
Not a problem
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:11, Reply)

:(

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:18, Reply)

it's entirely up to you how you conduct your experiment
/rspca on speeddial
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:07, Reply)

I went to the headquarters of the RSPCA once. It's tiny...
You couldn't swing a cat.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:13, Reply)

LTI
*Sighs* This place has gone to the dogs.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:36, Reply)

actually I was just working out a context
in which I could use this at work....or at the pet shop where HIggs has his date tomorrow...hmmm - ideal!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:38, Reply)

So how will you use this in context...
'Hello, this is Higgs. Take your pig AND LEAVE THE INTERNET'

I don't see it working.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:40, Reply)

silly jeff

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:43, Reply)

Spazzy Captain.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:46, Reply)

I'm in oxford
I am mere moments away from plummeting face first on to the table and snoozing in front of my new colleagues. Fun day though.
(berk, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:44, Reply)

Yay! Go berk.
Are you moved into your new gaff now?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Moved in to, yes
but very far from unpacked, I simply haven't had time.
(berk, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:49, Reply)

Do your new colleagues seem like a nice bunch?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:50, Reply)

yes, they all seem lovely
the group is MASSIVE though and incredibly busy. i'm going to get worked so hard :(
(berk, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:58, Reply)

At least you'll probably have all manner of social-life options to keep yourself busy!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:00, Reply)

that seems to have come round quickly
did it all go OK?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:52, Reply)

pfft, tell me about it
I only started packing the day before I moved out. it went alright though, cheers.
(berk, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:55, Reply)

It's been all go at this end.
Three pairs of shoes arrived today Jeff, THREE.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:53, Reply)

Tell me ALL ABOUT THE SHOES Baz.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:54, Reply)

One are the wrong pair, one pair doesn't fit and the other are fantastic.
Now I'm hunting online for some I've been looking for for so long I might write a book about my quest.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Tell us about these mysterious shoes.
Have you tried looking under your bed for them? I'll bet they are there. And if you can't find them, I reckon your mum will be able to.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:59, Reply)

"Barry From Eastenders" - My Quest for Shoes
With a foreward by Lady Gaga.

In your local "3 books for £10" shop shortly.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:03, Reply)

In The Works
£1 clearance the week after
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:05, Reply)

"In a landfill near you..."

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:08, Reply)

"now available in mulch"

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:23, Reply)

*shakes head*
are the nice shoes? Have you thrown out three old pairs of shoes to make space for them?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:55, Reply)

I posted off five things I sold to pay for them earlier today.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:57, Reply)

good boy

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 21:58, Reply)

Wotcha Jeffster
I'm working on a KILLER hangover on Saturday morning. It's going G-R-R-R-reat! This past week there were things happening and, oh my goodness, er..stuff! Yeah.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Woo hoo!
Evening Bill. What are you boozin' on?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:20, Reply)

I'm on the dark rum and coke
I got a couple of bottles of single malt for my birthday but I'm saving them for lazy Sunday evenings with a roaring fir and a good book.

I'm preparing my liver for tomorrow night when, as the saying goes, shit's gonna get real. Spicy food, exotic spirits and Trivial Pursuit. Might be a nice relaxing evening if I weren't so bloody competitive.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:28, Reply)

What edition of questions are you likely to be using tomorrow

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:29, Reply)

It's the one that came with my sons XBox
It's alright and you can't lose the dice. We got an updated DVD version of Triv a few years back and it has categories like popular culture and fashion. It was 'fucking shit' (not least because I kept losing more than I'm used to) If you can't win a brown cheese with a pre-question guess of 'Sherlock Holmes' then I'm just not interested.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:33, Reply)

I'm sure your kid was the envy of the playground with 'Triv' for the XBox.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:37, Reply)

If I thought for one second my parenting decisions were determined by 'the playground'..
..I'd, er...go in a grump or something. There are no sheep in my family thunkyervermuch. I have the DNA to prove it,*

*I don't, it's all assumptions
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 23:06, Reply)

in a good way?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:22, Reply)

S'all good Cappy
I've just watched my new Untouchables Bluray and I have maltesers. There's a bottle of rioja in the corner giving me 'come to bed eyes' but I'm resisting, the little minx.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Bedtime for TD
Work tomorrow.

xx
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:21, Reply)

nighty night

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:22, Reply)

Cheers mate!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:23, Reply)

Oh my dayz, I was video chatting for 2 hours ! I've never had such a long phone call.
OH GEE OH GOSH, she's soo swell.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:47, Reply)

Have you got a lady on ice Gonz?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Maybe possibly hopefully maybe

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:52, Reply)

Well answer the Captain below!
Tell us all about her.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:53, Reply)

wooo!
lucky, lucky gonz! what's she like?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:51, Reply)

Beyond lovely.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:53, Reply)

that's a bit vague
what does she do for a living, what does she look like? does she have massive norks?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:54, Reply)

She's an english lit student, about to retake her final year as she had some problems.
She has a kid and is devorced, 23 years old, brunette with longish hair, She's normal sized in terms of weight (not petit, not fat, just right), likes her food, really really cute smile and laugh and eyes. Smiling a lot.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:56, Reply)

awww:)

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:57, Reply)

Sounds lovely Gonz.
I hope your next conversation is as easy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 23:02, Reply)

Me too, and the best bit is, I feel like I can ring her up while walking home from work and ask her how her day is and talk about mine.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 23:27, Reply)

awesome
thats a good sign.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 10 Sep 2011, 0:05, Reply)

She has a pulse and a vagina.
Meets all his expectations.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:53, Reply)

Oh b3th my darling, don't put yourself down, I like more than that about you... you also have boobies and a complete set of fingers.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:57, Reply)

Jeff!
Guess where I was today?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:53, Reply)

The V.D Clinic.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:53, Reply)

I hear you've got a season ticket.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:53, Reply)

They've even named a wing after you.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:54, Reply)

It was the pier with your yank mates wasn't it....
Go on, tell us all about it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:54, Reply)

Well, I have to dash off to bed now, because it's a stupidly early start in teh morning,
but I just wanted to tell you the pier is everything I hoped it would be.

Cheap, tacky, loud, lots of lights and bright colours. You'll love it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:57, Reply)

Well you go to bed with arms full of tickets from the prize bingo, who knows but the time the pier visit comes round
You might have enough tokens to claim a biro or something.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 23:01, Reply)

Oh, ha ha. Oh, that's very funny.
I was on the pier, AKSHUALLY.

We had the fish 'N' chips too. But not beer.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:54, Reply)

The place looks like a bombsite, I am so stoned I am watching newsnight and I have just realised that after taking my bed apart earlier I haven't got anywhere to sleep.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:57, Reply)

you probably shouldn't have
set fire to the place as your first action there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:58, Reply)

I think it was a plane, no red and grey flakes here!
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 22:59, Reply)

Well I'm off to bed
Have a lovely weekend, everyone
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 23:22, Reply)

Evening Jeff
I am just back from a work mate's leaving do. Delightfully it was 10 minutes walk from my flat, and then we went to a bar for a few and I gentlemanly walked the secretaries *cough* sorry, Business Support Personnel to the train station. I even got to stop off on the way home and buy a bottle of wine and 10 cigarettes so I could have my 1 cig of the week.

Good night, especially since my main course was dry and overdone.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Sep 2011, 23:24, Reply)