Christ almighty
What would you have got if you were unhelpful? An AIDS sandwich and electrodes on your bollocks?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:00, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Lots of people seem to be under the impression that IT staff
aren't entitled to lunch breaks.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:01, Reply)

if they did a good job then they would be allowed out
under supervision of course and with factor 50 sun block on
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)

This^
Two fucking hours on the phone was my lunchtime
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Yeah it's like that here at the moment.
We're desperately short-staffed and support over a thousand people. Not fun.

I hate it when these cunts walk up to your desk then, see you eating your sandwich and then say something along the lines of

"I'm sorry, I know you're on your lunch break, but it's really important. The printer's broken/I can't make the font in Word italic/can't make these numbers in Excel add up/something else that can blatantly wait for half an hour".
( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

"My server is running at 100MB rather than 1GB" for me today!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

"Is there anything wrong with the internet?"

( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Not enough kittens

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I've brought one of them on myself
Everytime anyone changed the toners in our colour printer, they break it. It's got to a point now where I tell them to not touch it, and simply get me. More than once, this has corresponded with my lunch hour.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

The number of times I've been called back from lunch is fucking ridiculous.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

What is this mythical "lunch" of which you speak?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Supposedly, a legal requirement.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

pfffft

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)

you're desperately unfunny, and I suspect that you have serious issues

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Another TRUTH attack!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

PA-CHOW!
Seriously, I just saw his response to me in the thread below, that's scary stuff
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Monty's great, you should be friends.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

he's terrifying

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

To look at, maybe

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

He's not at all, he's just like a shouty drunk sat at the end of the bar.
Buy him a pint and he'll tell you his stories from the war.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

+Napoleonic

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I think he needs a hug

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Most autisms on here shy away from physical contact.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

at least it's not fucking poor puns.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:05, Reply)

excuse me for trying to mix things up a little

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Mixing stuff up by doing the same thing for days and days and days
over and over and over is not actually mixing it up.
( Kroney, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

you are excused
don't try it again, though, eh? If you upset the status quo here we just end up with a lot of rocking back and forth, clutching knees and weeping in darkened rooms and it takes ages to deal with.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

"Got to leave the table"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Whatever you want.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

You wouldn't want to update the status quo.
They'd strap you to a chair and force you to listen to their back catalog on repeat.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Good point.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

but hasn't it been a bit quiet here lately?
can't we do something to inject some life into the place?
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I think humour would work better.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

I hope someone will inject some soon then

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

A thread is only as good as you make it.
Waiting for everyone else to be amusing doesn't work.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

You should inject some air into your veins.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

spiteful, uncalled for
downright deranged
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

See if you can fit a pencil behind your eyeball

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Should be a bodkin for proper Newtonlols.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)

as kroney points out
one pun thread might have been funny. Constantly crowbarring the same weak concept in everywhere isn't. At all. "being an irritating shit" is not the same as "injecting life"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I started it as a joke
it was amusing between me and one or two other people, the fact that so many people got so disproportinately upset was just insane
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

That's what made me keep going.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

No shit...
i don't think anyone was that upset were they, it was irritating, but not worth getting het up about
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)

You were one of the most upset.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)

bullshit, i even said a couple were funny

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I'M NOT UPSET

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I'm glad you can see it my way

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)

well, no, it's not at all. Not in the slightest.
Say you had a private one-line joke that was funny between the two of you? Right, well, say you went into a crowded bar full of people you vaguely knew, and barged into every conversation shouting that one-line over and over again? How long do you think you'd last before someone twatted you and got a round of applause?

Becuase, basically, that's what you've been doing.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan! Dan!
etc
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Taking that bar metaphore further
It's more like 3 or 4 people making jokes on one side of the bar while another 3 or 4 people kept coming over and saying FUCKING SHUT UP THIS BAR IS FOR ALL OF US STOP MAKING JOKES. The idea that the majority of people were against it is just false there were about 4 or 5 people who moaned and about 4 or 5 people who were making puns.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

For the record
silence isn't the same as enjoying it, it was irritating as hell, but I didn't see any point in getting internet serious about it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

It's also not a mark of annoyance
you can't assume anyone not involed did or did not like it. Or lets face it even care.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

True enough I suppose.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

see below.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)

you've interpreted that in a very unusual way
I haven't barged in anywhere, it's very easy not to read what somebody posts or to ignore a sub thread and carry on about your conversation. I haven't imposed myself on anyone.

The fact that we're even having this discussion is weird. If I had been shouting over people or deliberately stopping conversations then fair enough, but that's not what this is at all.
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

*sigh*
no, I've interpreted it in the way any normal human being would. Of course it is shouting over stuff and of course it fucks conversations up because people go away until the stupid puns stop. Did you not notice that?

I'm not the arbitrator of what is and isn't reasonable here. But shit like that just turns this place into a Tesco Value /talk and people will leave until all that's left are the autisms and the beakers and the odd decent person trying desperatly to actually have a conversation. Knock yourself out, chap. do your worst
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I disagree

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Dude, it's the internet. Chill.
If TF is Bert, or grates, put them on ignore.

That's what it's for.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I'm perfectly chilled
I'm just trying to explain how being human beings work as apparently ttf thinks it works somewhat differently.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I think people choose how to interpret posts on the internet
the fact that you interpret it as someone shouting over your conversation and barging in says more about you than it does me
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:33, Reply)

I'm afraid that it really doesn't
however, the fact that you think it's "my" conversation when I said nothing of the sort is probably an interesting insight into your psyche.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)

it was a generic 'your', meaning everyone here as a whole
I can't believe I've been sucked into this conversation, I feel like I'm being trolled
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:37, Reply)

This just reads as "YOU'RE RUINING THE INTERNET"
which is fucking stupid and this conversation weeks after it happened is far more boring than any pun thread, and more people will be put off by this shit than "houmous the tank engine"
(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:41, Reply)

You are probably right.
But that doesn't change the truth in what I'm saying.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:53, Reply)

You're Bert and I know you have serious issues.
The autistic one-joke fixation, the absence of wit...

All we need now is the backpedalling, the meltdown and the banning and the wheel of life will have turned again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Oh fuck, is it?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

*ponders*
You may just be right here Boyce
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Start making references to sister fucking, see if it bites back

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Holy crap!
The real Bert? The sister-shagging general weirdo?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

If it's not, he has a brother.
We know he has a sister...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Yes, but I read into the backstory last night via Amorous Badger's fail archive.
Holy fucking Christ.

And Amorous Badger really needs to get a life.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

That's how I pieced it together
I drifted away from here for a while, and when I left Bert was just a harmless, irritating internet weirdo. When I got back he'd morphed into this Candyman thing that people spoke of in terrified tones.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I read the whole thing last night... and I did a little sick.
Holy fuck. You'd think the man came from Weston-super-mare.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

you need help

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

A disciplinary, probably.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)