Anticlimaxes
This morning I went (at the request of Epilepsy Action) to a press conference to be interviewed by journalists about a new campaign the charity are promoting. Not a single journalist turned up.

Having spent time preparing, rehearsing answers the charity wanted me to give etc. I felt slightly disappointed. When did you last experience an anticlimax and what was it?

EDIT: I have now been asked to go on BBC London radio later today.

ALT: What is the collective for a group of Epi's? A shake of Epileptics?

ALT ALT - I don't know - something about gypsies or something else. I don't know what.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 13:59, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

'Do the epi, epi shake'
The jounalists were there, but they were hiding outside and setting up a strobe light, but got busted and ran away
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:02, Reply)

A strobe of epileptics
edit: too slow. Oh well.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)

a fit?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

A quiver of epileptics?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:03, Reply)

twilight
Alt lol
Alt alt some lady came into work the other day and said that her mother was a gypsy and that they believe you can't put shoes on the counter.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Gypsies also believe it is fine to set up home wherever you like, thieve and not pay tax.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)

ALL of them believe this?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Yes. Judging by how the cunts behave in the UK anyway.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

^ bitter ^

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Definitely

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

you seem to be a fan of sweeping generalisations

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Not really no. They're a disadvantaged section of society who've been maligned for generations.
It's not 'cool' to pick on coloureds any more, so now people rag on the knackers.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

They have disadvantaged themselves
And it is cool to pick on coloureds, Monty does it and he is the coolest
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Not really, they became disenfranchised due to Colonialism. Turfed off the land to suit the Protestant landholders.
It's about time the state redressed this injustice.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

trolling ,trolling, trolling, keep that Rory trolling RORHIDE!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:26, Reply)

The majority (myself included) of people dislike them based on their behaviour not their heritage.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)

You're London aint you? I can't recall any Pikey sites in London, how do they affect you?
There's plenty of planning transgressions all of the time. The worst offenders being the Middle Classes of England.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I moved back to London 3 years ago, after 10 years in Buckinghamshire where I was 2 miles away from a gypsy site.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Well then, you should know far better.
They bring centuries old traditions to an otherwise bland rural landscape. They also bring very keen pricing for home improvements, not least tarmacadaming.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)

I believe that their monoblocking could do with a little practice

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Not unless it's someone else's counter anyway.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:07, Reply)

she said it's something to do with when you die? your shoes and hat are laid on a table by your casket and until then your shoes should never be on a table or counter

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:12, Reply)

She sounds like a cunt
while you were talking her son probably badly tarmaced over your cat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

ha ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

dont be stupid, why would i have a cat at work

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:17, Reply)

dunno, company?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

hows the babe?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:27, Reply)

She is very sweet, smiling and giggling now, which is adorable!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)

don't drown this one in the bath though, ok?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:30, Reply)

my mate Laura's baby is doing the same, she makes this face like she's shy, it's so damned cute
How's the wife?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

She is excellent, slightly fed up of being stuck at home a lot
but that comes with the territory unfortunately.

How's your new job working out?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:33, Reply)

oh, are you no longer allowed to leave home once there's a babe?
It sucks, I hate it, I'm severely depressed
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:37, Reply)

No, she goes out lots, but you still spend a lot of time at home
whereas you would have been at work before, change of scenary
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Only if the counter is made of tarmac

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Or 'lucky' heather.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

The correct terminology is
a 'Dildo of epileptics'
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Vibrator, surely?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:09, Reply)

that was the thought, but it didn't sound right and dildo sounded funnier, even if it made less sense...
An earthquake of epis - for when there are more than 100 together
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

throw in a sock

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:10, Reply)

fuck off, my son died of epilepsy in the bath

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I'm not sure you can die of that
you could probably drown, but bath epilepsy isn't a killer
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:13, Reply)

No, he choked on a sock

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Whampire

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Nacho cheese!

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Mascarpone!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

come-on-bear

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:16, Reply)

no good to me mate, I'm an electrician

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:18, Reply)

WITHAKNIFE

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Doyouthinkhesaurus?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Nice tits, where do you want the blinds?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Doyouthinkhesaurus Rex?

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

No tomatoes

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:22, Reply)

a baby in a microwave

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I couldn't hear, I was too busy wanking.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

depends how hard you throw them

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Vegetable soup

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:25, Reply)

the fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:29, Reply)

They both drip when they're fucked.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Anyone can roast beef.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)

shit in her cunt

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:34, Reply)

You can't marmalade your cock up her arse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Doritos

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

I've got horse AIDS

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

best of all the AIDS

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)

that's highly unlikely
unless you forced it into his mouth to prevent him choking on his tongue?

Are you admitting to manslaughter right here? Sorry for your loss and that, but you ought to be locked up
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:15, Reply)

I don't think I'd be able to live with the guilt of knowing I'd killed my son
no matter how severely disabled he was, shame on you Reginald
(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:19, Reply)

My life is bathed in shame

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I hope you choke on a sock in it

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:33, Reply)

You have put your foot in it now Apey

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:35, Reply)

With your mum.
It wasn't as good as with your dad.
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:23, Reply)

instantrimshot.com
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Sep 2011, 14:24, Reply)