Daughter won't stop crying.
Hardly a surprise with me as her father.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 19:47, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Have you tried turning her off and on again?

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 19:47, Reply)

Reset the owner/father more like
Can't complain given she slept through the night last night at only 26 days old.

How are you my delightful?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 19:54, Reply)

Meh! Musn't complain...............................................but I do.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 19:56, Reply)

What has you got to the 'meh' about?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 19:57, Reply)

^ this ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 19:58, Reply)

The usual.
Plus family woes.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:02, Reply)

The usual could be anything.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:06, Reply)

I'm not that bad.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:07, Reply)

I've got a spare Toffee Crisp if you'd like one.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:11, Reply)

No thank you.
I have an urge for something savoury.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:13, Reply)

Make cheese and pineapple.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:14, Reply)

Pineapple is not savoury.
Besides, I don't have any.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:16, Reply)

Alright Jeff?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 19:58, Reply)

I'm good mate!
Yourself?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:00, Reply)

yeah - apart from this
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1361832
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:02, Reply)

Never mind.
You wait until she is 15 and is all 'Dad, me give for four grand to go to the pub' (Obviously, I'm allowing a bit for inflation there).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:05, Reply)

She is not allowed out until she is 35 and then only under supervision and will have to be home by 8pm
* Victorian father *
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:08, Reply)

Get her a berka for Christmas.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:10, Reply)

Burkha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:11, Reply)

hahaha
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burqa
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:11, Reply)

Hehe!

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:13, Reply)

Besides, the Prohibition will be in full swing by then.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:20, Reply)

Suck it up big fella, you're a father now, it's one thing being OhWoeIsMethic when you're on your todd eating home made pizza to make yourself feel like you're worth having a decent meal.
It's quite another beeing OhWoeIsMethic when you have a healthy baby daughter who you love beyond belief.

I'd totally make references to 15 years and give or take about 7 months if there wasn't a chance of you actually knocking my teeth into my scull at the start of next month.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:04, Reply)

Oh man, I can't wait 'till my 43rd birthday.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:06, Reply)

Ugh.
It's only seven and a bit years till mine : (
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:14, Reply)

Try two

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:18, Reply)

Three years ago : (

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:19, Reply)

I'm glad I'm not THAT old.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:20, Reply)

43 - 7 = 36
(36/2)+7 = 25..... (half your age plus seven; or reverse)

My age = 27.

Oh man, I could totally be your toyboy without it being on the wrong side of creepy. Just sayin'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:24, Reply)

Shit. My maths gonzism has kicked in.
It's actually FIVE years and three months. I'm almost 38.

Fuckity fuckity fuck. I'm old.

*sobs*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:30, Reply)

totally still in range ,)

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:50, Reply)

Hey, it's MY BIRTHDAY this week.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:25, Reply)

WHEN!!

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:26, Reply)

Friday!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:27, Reply)

I SAID FRIDAY.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:32, Reply)

*plans suprise party*

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:33, Reply)

Oooh. Can you let me know if you DO organise one.
I kinda know it'll spoil the surprise, but I'm considering going here this weekend

www.brisfest.co.uk/

(Proving, once again, that Bristol is a party town!)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:36, Reply)

We're going to have to postpone it till the Friday after Jeff.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:51, Reply)

That'll do.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 21:05, Reply)

i don't think i am "woe is me" just want to stop her being upset

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:15, Reply)

I doubt she's upset
Babies cry mostly for physical reasons, don't they?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:16, Reply)

^this
It's the only way she has of telling you she needs something.
( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:18, Reply)

she is fed, clean nappy, winded etc. Apparently it is common for newborns to become restless at this time of day for the first 12 weeks or so.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:19, Reply)

Take her for a walk then.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:20, Reply)

Is she bound?
I have been told that babies in the first few weeks like the feeling of being wrapped up tightly.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:21, Reply)

Yeah she is - they call it swaddling.
Doesn't seem to help though.

Am almost tempted to fuck off to Mumsnet for the evening, but the thought of this scares me - nest of fucking vipers that lot.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:23, Reply)

Don't do it mate.
You know all the sound advice can be found here.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:25, Reply)

sound slightly questionable
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:34, Reply)

Ask me a generic parenting question. I'm sure I've got the answer.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:35, Reply)

She's not the only one.

( girlinthehole, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:25, Reply)

Oh good stuff !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 21 Sep 2011, 20:22, Reply)