Cunts.
Cunts in the treetops,
Cunts in a drawer,
Cunts rolling around an empty fucking jam jar,
I care not one jot for this.

Alt: What the cunt?
Alt Alt: Why the cunt?
Alt^Alt: Cunts?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 7:29, 85 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sympathy reply...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 7:54, Reply)

Alts to the power of Alts.
That is some serious Alts there.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:02, Reply)

...is something the matter, Crowsephine?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:18, Reply)

I've had better days, certainly.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:25, Reply)

Then surely it can only improve?
If it helps at all, the new issues of Marvel Universe vs. Wolverine and Fear Itself are available on the Marvel app today.

You're welcome.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:30, Reply)

What the jolly-rogering fuck are you blithering about?

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:52, Reply)

Recently rediscovered comics thanks to the magic of the iPhone
Couple of excellent serials currently running.

That is all.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Thank you for clarifying.
I do not own an iPhone. But thank you for making the effort to proffer a recommendation that I shall subsequently ignore.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Any time big guy
You're a London B3tan, are you not? Am down for a gig on the 9th and should have a couple of hours to kill beforehand - am contemplating a mini-bash (read: gathering in a pub with booze)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:59, Reply)

I am indeed a London B3ta type.
9th is indeed a possibility - I'd suggest popping it on the calendar. There's a tentative possibility that I might be away that weekend, but to be honest I can't see past the end of next week right now.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Fair enough
It's a very tentative plan at the moment, as I'm yet to purchase tickets for the gig or sort transport. I'll let you know if it goes ahead, best of luck with resolving whatever vexes you so.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:06, Reply)

To cunt, or not to cunt, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the cunt to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take cunts against a sea of cunts,
And by opposing end them? To die, to cunt,
No more; and by a sleep to say we cunt
The cunt-ache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to: 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to cunt;
To sleep, perchance to cunt – ay, there's the cunt:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal cunt,
Must give us pause – there's the respect
That makes cunt of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of cunt,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the cunt’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy cunts,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare cunt? Who would fardels bear,
To cunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered cunt from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the cunt,
And makes us rather bear those cunts we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cunts of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cunt of thought,
And enterprises of great cunt and moment,
With this regard their currents turn cunt,
And lose the name of action. Cunt you now,
The fair Ophelia! Cunt, in thy orisons
Be all my cunts remembered
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:28, Reply)

How long did that take?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Copied, pasted and 'edited'

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Ahh
At first I thought it was just a find and replace of 'be' with 'cunt', but then I saw the last line.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:41, Reply)

I'm just guessing, but are you a teeny bit fed up?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:31, Reply)

Morning darling
Hope you've had plenty of sleep
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:35, Reply)

Have Ibuggery
However, I have to be up, so I am. Ugh.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Have you buggery?
Got enough for everyone?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:41, Reply)

iBuggery is the new gay app

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:46, Reply)

How come you know about it and I don't, eh?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Either that or he's been on
some seriously depraved sex murder spree and now has the task of clearing up after himself.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:37, Reply)

If that were the case, there'd be more anal mentioned, surely?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:38, Reply)

This tells us a lot about the sort of homicidal sex rampage you'd go on

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:42, Reply)

I was referring to his other half

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I'd have thought a homicidal sex rampage would be based on what he wasn't already getting satisfactory amounts of

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Hmm, good point
Maybe she's simply turned him to the dark side, and he can't break his programming?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Sounds like you're trying to apportion blame for Crow's corruption on one person
when you know in your heart that ALL OF B3TA is truly responsible.

Well, not me, really, I haven't been here that long.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Long enough!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:01, Reply)

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Yep, followed by "Get out."

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:05, Reply)

et

I'm not sure why either
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:08, Reply)

I think he's saving those for later.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Crow's Sex Rampage 2: Anal Destruction

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Not yet.
I am approximately one more "this chapter needs more work" away from getting started on one though.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:58, Reply)

Your guess is a good one.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:52, Reply)

We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never
Go near the cunts
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Ah, you've been watching The Thick Of It, haven't you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:39, Reply)

Good morning, my little chicks and cunts.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:42, Reply)

Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Stop fucking blinking! Or I will take your optic nerve and strangle you with it!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:46, Reply)

You looked like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I downloaded The Thick Of It a while back, I really should watch it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:50, Reply)

I leant my box set to my best mate a few weeks ago
God I miss it. Amazingly rewatchable programme.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:55, Reply)

what the hell's up with you?

(berk, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 8:57, Reply)

It begins with 'T' and ends with the 30th September.
Sorry, it's getting to that stage. Woke up at quarter to bastard five this morning and couldn't switch off - decided if I couldn't sleep I might as well be working, and only stayed in bed for another hour because I knew I wouldn't be able to get into the department before seven.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:04, Reply)

The mighty badger's birthday?
and here was me thinking you'd forgotten...!

I realise it's no consolation but one of my students is nowhere fucking near completing by the 30th and I'm going to have his balls for a newton's cradle. So at least you aren't him.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:35, Reply)

_{Well, unless you're my supervisor - which, I have to say, would be quite a surprise to contend with given her IRL personality - in which case, what the fuck was wrong with that last chapter I gave you?}
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:40, Reply)

it was written in crayon.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)

What sort of trouble does not being finished by the 30th hold?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Badge will beat him to death with his penis

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:45, Reply)

You'll wake up.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Ha!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)

Generally, you're supposed to submit a PhD thesis within 4 years of starting
technically, there's not much I can do to him, UK academic regs say you're allowed 10 years in total. But I can make his life unpleasant, as by association, it makes me look bad as a supervisor when people submit late.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)

I am, however, a shit supervisor, so I do deserve it.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:01, Reply)

I think there is to much month left at the end of money.
=(
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:47, Reply)

For the last two-three months
I've pretty much been completely skint by the 15th at the latest. I suspect that given the impending bash and the purchase of a month's train ticket to Oxford, that next month will be no different.
(berk, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Do some work slacker.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:44, Reply)

OMG REM ARE SPLITTING UP!!!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)

END OF AN ERA!!

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:51, Reply)

END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:52, Reply)

LOL

( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

BUT I FEEL FINE!!!!!11!!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

...and promptly stolen as a riff by Oasis for "What's the Story, Morning Glory"
Sorry Darth
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)

REM are still together?
How will the world cope without shockingly pedestrian fanny-rock?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I thought they'd split up years ago
They've done fuck all for years. Not complaining mind you.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Not any more.
I like some of the early stuff, but find them mostly quite turgid. And Shiny Happy people is one of the most irritating songs in the world, ever.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

This is true, it was played on the radio this morning, I wanted to throw things.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)

It's suspiciously missing from their 'best of' compilation.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:01, Reply)

ompilation assingle
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Hey Bill Clay!
You leave your ass shingle out of this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Agreed about Shiny Happy People
But I had a bit off a soft spot for REM from Green through to New Adventures in Hi Fi I enjoyed them.

I saw them in Trafalgar Square in early 2001 for the 'Free South Africa' celebration and it was fucking great.

Although I just googled them to confirm that data and am surprised how many albums they released after 'Hi-Fi' that just passed me by.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I thought Automatic for the People
was spectacularly overrated, and more than a little bit dull.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Given that from this distance I can't remember a single track that was on it
I'm not really in a position to argue the point.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Everybody Hurts, Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight, Nightswimming...
it's the album where practically every track on it was released as a single in the most cynical record company marketing scam ever committed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Oh!
I liked Sidewinder...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Taken individually
I like a number of tracks on the album. As an album in itself, however, I don't think it hangs together very well, if that makes sense. With the exception of Sidewinder all the tracks are quite slow and therefore it makes the album very samey, which I don't like.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:02, Reply)

U2 still haven't taken the hint, though
or found what they are looking for, apparently.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Maybe we, as a people, need to make more of an effort to help them find it
Then they might fuck off. Maybe if we got a couple of humpback whales to sing to them or something.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Happy candle day.
If indeed it really is your candle day.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Oh yeah, hadn't noticed that
Thank you.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)

I found out this weekend that Where The Streets Have No Name is based on Sheffield
Fascinating, eh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 10:03, Reply)

I actually found this a huge shock.
I was utterly speechless when I heard last night.

I thought they'd split about 6 years ago.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 9:57, Reply)

cunt
Wank stain
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Thu 22 Sep 2011, 11:04, Reply)