in the month I have been in my new house
my feckless housemate has washed her dishes perhaps twice. She doesn't appear to work and makes more mess than any of the rest of us. She also chose 5.15am this morning as an ideal time to shout at her boyfriend/tv/annoying yapper type dog. How do I best refrain from kicking her fucking head in?
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:08, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Leave a pair of your used skiddies on her bedroom door handle.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:09, Reply)

Then post them to Gonz.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Don't refrain. Just fucking do it.
Do(es) the other housemate(s) have the same problem with her?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:10, Reply)

I really don't understand why there's any washing up at all
given that there's a fucking dishwasher. the others all do their washing up within 24 hours of leaving it, and two of us use the dishwasher, but she makes a fucking tip and doesn't bother to do a thing about it. there has been no cutlery since friday last week and i'm buggered if i'm sorting it out for everyone else. once a mug, always a mug etc.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:14, Reply)

No mugs either?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:15, Reply)

I don't drink hot drinks and thus don't use them
so I don't really give a shit about that.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:20, Reply)

Maybe you should call a house meeting?
It might even be worth involving the agents.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:18, Reply)

I can't imagine the FBI will care that much b3th.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:22, Reply)

but that seems such a wanky thing to do
she hasn't been tremendously well so i'll give her a month to sort her act out.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:23, Reply)

In the meantime, check the terms of your contract (I assume you will all have the same one?)
It might have some clause about keeping the place in good order.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Jesus Christ
just have a word.
( WormuIus, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:28, Reply)

Me?
I don't even know the girl!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:30, Reply)

Of course you do.
It's berk.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:31, Reply)

Try something like this
*knock knock*
Hey [NAME] sorry to bother you, have you got a minute?
Just wanted a quick word about [YOUR GRIEVANCES]. I'd really appreciate it if [YOUR REQUEST].
How would you feel about that?
( WormuIus, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:31, Reply)

Dear Berk
your problem is more common than you think.
Your problem stems from your inability to control your life. Take control of your domestic environment by choosing housemates who aren't dicks.

In the interim perhaps you could consider discussing your misgivings with your housemate. A good way to do this would be through the leaving of passive aggressive notes attached to your fridge by means of magnetic letters.

If this doesn't work, perhaps you could restrain your desire to cause her harm by remembering that you are a reasonable human being and not a fucking toddler.
( WormuIus, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:12, Reply)

yeah, nobody wants to be the douchey note-leaving housemate
the fact that I do 90% of the cleaning and tidying in the kitchen is starting to upset me though.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:17, Reply)

Draw up a rota.
And I don't mean an engaged scouser.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:18, Reply)

hahahah

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:19, Reply)

Dear berk
I've thought more about your problem.
The correct approach is to moan about it on the internet and act like a child about the most basic of human disputes rather than with any semblance of maturity or common-sense.
( WormuIus, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:28, Reply)

excellent
I seem to have solved my problem in that case.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:31, Reply)

You could invite her to poke your stomach
she'll probably move out on her own after that.
( WormuIus, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:34, Reply)

you didn't have to
but I thought it might freak you out enough to stop asking questions.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:39, Reply)

I'll admit
it was probably the most interesting thing I heard all evening.
I thought quite a lot about it on the journey home.
( WormuIus, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:44, Reply)

It's hard to not read this as the creepiest thing I've heard all evening

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:52, Reply)

It made me question whether or not I'd have done any differently.
Admittedly I've never been and never will be fat but I couldn't think of a logical reason why berk's decision should bother me.

It bothered Lampito as well, although I think she may have her own reasons.
( WormuIus, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:07, Reply)

Dear Berk
This is the most passive aggressive response you could have given.
Congratulations.
( WormuIus, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:19, Reply)

This sort of shit is why i live alone
It does make the subsequent arguments over why i never do any housework rather surreal, however.
( Kroney, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:22, Reply)

I've lived on my own since 2005
sharing again after all that time is an interesting experience.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:28, Reply)

I did it at university
after that, never again. Other things on my "never again" list include;

-going to pontypridd
-negotiating with a mexican
-sex on a bus
( Kroney, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:32, Reply)

sex on a bus
Sounds like a 'Happy Shopper' cocktail.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:34, Reply)

halls was the last time I shared too
it's taken me six years to get over the trauma of that, and I still wouldn't consider sharing unless I had my own bathroom.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:37, Reply)