I have developed a grudging respect, if not admiration, for the writers of TV jingles.
Fuck me, they don't half get into your head.

What makes teh perfect advertising jingle?

Alternatively, what's going on tonight?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:55, 89 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

This is quite catchy
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8CTscW3dpI
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:56, Reply)

I think that's probably the benchmark
At the moment I'm hooked on the Mazuma adverts. Bloody things.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:05, Reply)

I fucking hate those adverts.

( Kroney, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:33, Reply)

i am glad i don't know them
i used to get annoyed at many adverts
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Each new advert manages to be slightly more cuntish than the last.
On some level it's an impressive skill
( Kroney, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:36, Reply)

That's what I mean. I have a grudging respect for the talent it takes to be that fucking annoying
but not an admiration, because they're fucking annoying.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:41, Reply)

I can still remember them.
bloody irritating.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:36, Reply)

MAZ MAZUMA!
What you waiting for?
Turn your old phone into cash right now
Mazuma Mobile DOT COM!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:39, Reply)

I am now about 3% more dangerous
mess with me and a pop an arrow in yo' ass. As long as you are about 10 metres away. Also, I may be off by a bit. Using the sightings is next week
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:18, Reply)

I bet you're still not as dangerous as Amberl.
She's HARD, yo.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:23, Reply)

we'll see how much she likes it
when i am proper trained up!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:26, Reply)

Get a compound
I used to be able to shoot right through the target, out the other side and split the wood of the stand at 50 yards. Great fun.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:42, Reply)

i think i'll probably stick to recurve for a bit
see how it goes. Especially since the targets at the place they hae in the winter aren't all that far away.

They look pretty badass, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:46, Reply)

I used to shoot before the smoking ban
It wasn't easy shooting in a fog, but it was exciting.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:49, Reply)

Blood match!
We could charge for tickets.
( Kroney, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:48, Reply)

As I run an advertising agency I have been involved in too many bad (and hopefully good) TV adverts over the last 18 years to comment.
In other news my wife has been discharged from hospital and is finally back home.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:26, Reply)

is she
ok? what was up?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:26, Reply)

Not sure if you saw this earlier: b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1377716

Basically my wife (who gave birth five weeks ago) collapsed in the street yesterday.

A neurologist has determined it is a problem some women get post birth related to crystals in the inner ear.

She's feeling better, she's diagnosed and she's home. Phew.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:29, Reply)

phew! good news, there
hope she's properbetter
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:33, Reply)

Thanks. It's looking (fingers crossed) like she is on the mend.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:35, Reply)

That's excellent news. I'm very glad to hear it.
I also hope the little one hasn't been too disturbed by all the toing and froing.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Thanks. The baby has slept most of today which has made it easier.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:34, Reply)

I imagine she'll be happy as long as she's with one of you.
Apparently, they're fairly resilient.

In other news, seeing as I wan't a total cunt to you today, can I pick your brains about getting into copywriting? When I was at uni, I got to the final 12 for a traineeship at Saatchi's. I'm proper proud of that. What would you say is teh best way to ingratiate myself to an agency?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:38, Reply)

Gaz me some more details and I'll be more than happy to give you whatever advice and introductions I can.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:39, Reply)

That's really sweet. I don't want to put you out though....

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:40, Reply)

It's not putting me out - I wouldn't have offered if I thought it would! Might take me a couple of days to get back to you though.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:46, Reply)

That's cool.
Thank you very much.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:48, Reply)

It'll be my pleasure.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:51, Reply)

Thumbs up, Battered, that's good news

( Kroney, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:35, Reply)

Ta!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:35, Reply)

the red car and the blue car had a race

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:27, Reply)

They're showing that on the tv again
but they've changed it so that the red car isn't a fat fucker any more, so that fat kids don't get picked on. Lame.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:41, Reply)

They are the times I've seen it
Not to call you wrong in front of everybody, you understand. But, well, you know.
( Kroney, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:50, Reply)

And
they don't don't use the line about it not ruining your appetite.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:50, Reply)

Yeah, this is the bit I meant
I was wrong. A bit.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:11, Reply)

Something that will take weeks to get out of your head
Like this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYPT7LzCnUg
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:37, Reply)

I always thought this ad worked quite well
z6.co.uk/41
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:38, Reply)

WTF?
I love horses?

What is this shit?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:40, Reply)

Best of all the links.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:42, Reply)

Really?
Seems a bit odd to me. I'll put this down as a b3ta thing and starting humming this "I know a song that'll get on your nerves".

Over, and over, and over...
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:45, Reply)

How long have you been on here?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:46, Reply)

GAH, YOU FUCK!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 1:13, Reply)

I have no idea what you're talking about
I don't own a TV. Take that ad agencies!!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:39, Reply)

same here
but they get you in other ways. Like being annoying on websites
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:42, Reply)

And on the radio, in the paper, on the tube & buses, on posters, on the back of car park tickets, in the cinema and anywhere else we can think of that's cost effective.

Sorry.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:45, Reply)

also
i heard they get buskers to sing certain songs to advertise certain artist's work. Oh and then there is the weetabix thing that Charlie brooker wrote about where kids were being brand champions
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:47, Reply)

We refuse to work with brands that want to advertise to kids.
We turned down work for a cigarette company in Asia a couple of years ago as well. Yes an advertising agency with morals! Well, sort of...
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:50, Reply)

it's a start

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:51, Reply)

Cigarettes for kids?
I may be deliberately misunderstanding for comedic effect.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:51, Reply)

That's a great product idea - we can do a multipack promo - get ten marlboro lights free with every jumbo pack of Pampers.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:53, Reply)

There's a lot of chavs in Weston would love that offer.
Except for teh 'lights' bit.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:55, Reply)

I reckon I'd be great at advertising
though not necessarily the morals bit
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:56, Reply)

My morals are fairly flexible.
I think I could fit in quite well.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:57, Reply)

Career tip: the more flexible your morals the further you'll progress in advertising.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:00, Reply)

I should go into it
mine are made of silly putty.
( Kroney, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:01, Reply)

Excellent perhaps I should consider it as a career

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:01, Reply)

We should set up our own agency
We could call it Boobvertising.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:03, Reply)

This is a Good Idea

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:12, Reply)

Morals are overrated
sometimes I regret that I have more than my fair share.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:58, Reply)

My sister's 18th birthday here
she's having a party later in the week, so she opted for a nice dinner out with us. With dinner she had wine, and the waitress insisted on ID. Why would anyone think that what was obviously a family do, would lie about their daughter having her 18th bday?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:46, Reply)

Also, you can drink wine in a restaurant with a meal when you're 14.
Especially if you're with your parents.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:47, Reply)

My dad pointed this out
but the waitress was exceptionally rude.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:49, Reply)

Waitresses quite often are.
Not me, obviously. When I was a waitress, i was ever so helpful and polite.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:49, Reply)

I have never understood why waitresses can be so bitchy
How it that going to earn you a tip, you stupid cow?
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:51, Reply)

Because most men think with their knackers rather than their heads and will gladly cough up a tip if they're served by a young lass, even if she's a total sleeveen.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:11, Reply)

I did a bit of waitressing when I was much younger
And screw any form of a tip. I understand that she didn't have an ID, but it was one glass of wine in a quiet setting while we're toasting her being eighteen
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:52, Reply)

ID schmy dee.
I'm sure she looks older than 14 so the waitress (or her stupid employer who has them so unnecessarily paranoid about people getting a sniff of grog) can fuck off.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:07, Reply)

As a former employee in a nationwide chain of pubs I had to complete a training course about the laws and practices of alcohol sales, even though I was a kitchen porter and had no contact with the customers.
At one point, they got about ten head-and-shoulders shots of would-be customers and asked us to gauge whether they were legal or underage. Operating on common sense, everyone doing the exercise got over half of their answers wrong, and the take-home message was that you should never trust your instincts and always ask for ID, even if they've got World War II medals, because appearances can be very deceiving.

It definitely wasn't because the author(s) of the course materials had deliberately mixed up and/or fabricated the descriptions that went with the photos, oh no.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:23, Reply)

perhaps just to give her an opportunity
to use her non fake ID
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:48, Reply)

She didn't have ID
so the waitress picked up the glass (about a third full) and tipped it into my mother's wineglass.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:56, Reply)

Christ, that really is fucking rude.

(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:59, Reply)

I think at that point
I'd have asked to see the manager to whom I would loudly explain why we were leaving now and without settling the bill.
( Kroney, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:00, Reply)

Which is what I would've done.
For the sake of my sister though, we refrained from making too big a fuss, paid and left. It was a pity because the food was decent.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:03, Reply)

The waitress didn't like the look of her, and wanted to spoil her birthday in the most petty and jobsworthy manner she could.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:06, Reply)

I suspect it was something like this
because she was on the point of asking me for my ID as well. Since I'm not drinking, I only had a splash of wine in my glass and I gave her a look that froze the words
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:09, Reply)

In other news
I have a very shiny new bike, which I have been riding around and around campus because I haven't wanted to get off. I'm now making chilli and nearly setting off the fire alarm by boiling the rice dry.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:46, Reply)

If it's one of those annoying fixed wheel ones you can shove it up your arse.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Wouldn't be seen dead on one.
I've got one of these (the 2011 model not the 2007, but they're very similar).
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:58, Reply)

Looks good.
Pleased to hear you're not a "fixie" (or weapons grade cunt on a bike as I prefer to call them).
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:01, Reply)

I have a new bike
the saddle is somewhat akin to being wedgied with a chisel, but apart from that it's a lovely piece of kit.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Oh? What have you got?

( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Dahon Jack
full sized folding hybrid jobbie.

EDIT - this: www.evanscycles.com/products/dahon/jack-d24-2011-folding-bike-ec022580
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:04, Reply)

Yeah, the saddle looks... interesting.
I used to have a hybrid (still do actually - it's in the bike shed here, chained to the racer). It did me proud for a couple of years - I must have ridden a few thousand miles on it since January 2009 - but it was going to cost ~£200 to upgrade to something that still wouldn't really be what I wanted, so I decided just to go for it.

I took the racer out earlier to test the speed. All was going well until I ramped it off a speedbump I didn't see until faaaar too late. I'm going out again in 30 mins or so with my GPS to see if I can get it over 30mph :D
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:14, Reply)

I've only ever had a mountain bike before
I was startled by how much quicker this is despite the fairly wide profile tyres, and I've not even had it on a decent straight in top gear yet.
The saddle will take some getting used to though *winces*
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:15, Reply)

Yes, it's a big jump
You'll probably notice it most when you're going uphill.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:21, Reply)

What, you mean like the fact that I can actually cycle up hills now?
for the best really given that my new commute involves a fuck off big one.
(berk, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 23:27, Reply)

right
time to sleep, otherwise I'm just going to be tired again tomorrow

sleep well, chums
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:51, Reply)

Night, Missy.
Have fun tomorrow.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:52, Reply)

The most annoying advert I know of is likely still Safestyle UK
I can go for years without seeing them, but I still know the phone number, it's embedded in my psyche.

And, in fairness, I doubt I'm the only one.

In other news, my housemate just pissed himself.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 1:14, Reply)