Also, for some reason unknown to me
(but probably to do with the X Factor), Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls is back in the charts.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:08, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Equally disgraceful
I've calmed down a bit now. I might have been ranting at the middle aged Asian taxi driver about the travesty I was being subjected to. Poor bugger.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:20, Reply)

B3th, I'm in my knickers and t-shirt, I'm not going out, I have no food for a meal in the house, it's late, I'm having two mince pies with clotted cream for super tonight.
I'm sorry, but that's the way it is, and if you don't like, you know where the door is.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Gonz - I've just seen an advert on the telly with PUGS in it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:34, Reply)

Oh awesome, what aws it advertising?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:36, Reply)

pugs?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:36, Reply)

Where in the world..... P U G World.
There's millions of smiles all under one roof, it's pugs-r-us pugs-r-us Pugs-R-Us
*kicks a pug up the bum, sending it flying into a wall*..... instead of asda's bum-slapping.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:46, Reply)

I don't know, they were stealing petrol.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:51, Reply)

Are they nice knickers? Does the T Shirt go down to the bottom of them, or do you have a bit of sexy midriff showing?
Enquiring minds need to know.

I haven't had any dinner either, as my lolpain is making me feel really sick.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:36, Reply)

It does, it glows in the dark and has a picture of a cat on a jetpack saying "Science is a verb now".
And my knickers are black boxers from marks'n'sparks that you can just see showing around the leg under the shirt.

I still think you can forget Channel, Gouchee and all that, the sexiest thing a girl can wear is her fella's hoody or t-shirt or...well... any top really (that is 3 sizes too big) and some cute knickers under it, maybe with some jogging bottoms if they're nipping to the shops. I'm a big fan of comfort, me. And it's nice afterwards when you go to wear it and it smells of Girl.

Oh Damn b3th, fo'sho', can you get anything a bit strong on the old pill tablets? I know they can make you naucous though.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:45, Reply)

I do this
boy's shirt and my pants. It looks better on girls from off the telly though.
(berk, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:48, Reply)

I can probably Google photos of girls on the telly wearing this.... however......

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:51, Reply)

And you're 100% entirely sure that Field Ping Pong Fella is the right choice? I mean, not being completely self serving while remaining hopefully optimistic and all that....
... but can you really see misery-guts cheering up?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:52, Reply)

Genuine laugh at 'field ping pong'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:54, Reply)

=D

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:58, Reply)

Everything looks better on those girls.
To be fair, I'd probably look cute in that get up, if I had my face and hair done. Straight out of bed, though? Not so much.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:53, Reply)

That's the thing with that look, the thing about it, is that it looks like comfort and cozy, so looking like however you do without make up and having bed-hair, adds to it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:57, Reply)

You really don't want to see me without make up.
I'm not one of those naturally radiant girls. I'm extremely shiny, and quite red.

as the gardener said to teh art mistress.....
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:59, Reply)

I'm not sure there are any women at all who are naturally radiant.
I'm surely as hell not.
(berk, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:04, Reply)

*Lowers sights and crosses naturally radiant off the list of essentials*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:09, Reply)

The only thing you are likely to see me looking naturally in the morning
is a) sleepy
b) haggard
c) damp from the shower.
(berk, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:13, Reply)

the shower slightly smaller than average cock.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:15, Reply)

hahahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:17, Reply)

you didn't really want to cross out "the" there, did you?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:21, Reply)

Works either way.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:22, Reply)

the specific or the general, I suppose

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:37, Reply)

C'mon now, let's not turn this into a low-self-esteem game.
Every picture of you I've seen, I've not thought once "Oh man, she's ugly", not in the slightest. Visually you have many good points, including a lovely smile and eyes.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:15, Reply)

I'm not trying to fish for compliments or anything
but as I have been told on many occasions, I'm hardly a supermodel. And all teh photos I allow to be seen in public have been very carefully vetted. There are many, many more that will *never* be shown to anyone. Ever.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:17, Reply)

b3th.
Let's be honest here. Both of us (and, I dare say ALL OF US) are unlikely to grace the cover of Vogue.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:18, Reply)

I've been in 'Antiques trader' magazine
Now that was a shit photo.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Were you trying to buy a new husband or were you just happy to sell your current one?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:22, Reply)

Aha. Ha. Ha ha ha ha.
*cough*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:23, Reply)

Sorry. I was only asking.
:(
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:24, Reply)

I'll let you into a little secret, the only people who are into supermodels, that I know at least, are actual real life pricks who you want fuck all to do with.
I don't want a show home of a flat, I want a flat I can chill out and relax in and not worry about dropping some pasta on the floor.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Keepin' it real Gonz!
I don't want 'the dream' I want to live 'my' dream.

Is there anything more romantic than sharing a bag of chip-shop chips on a windy promenade?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Yeah, probably.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:22, Reply)

Like punching a donkey?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:24, Reply)

They wouldn't let me!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:26, Reply)

Roota was upset at the thought of donkey punching.
Assure her that no donkeys were harmed in the making of 'pier bash'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:28, Reply)

i shall be seeing her in a matter of months.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Well, if you punch a donkey between now and then, say I had nothing to do with it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:33, Reply)

I was i listening to "The Ricky Gervais" podcast called 'Philosphy'.
They asked Carl that if he can have the perfect life, what would he change, and he said after a little while "Ermm..... I'd call the gas man and they'd fix the boiler first time".

I really like that, his life to him is perfect, he wouldn't change a thing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:26, Reply)

Are you sure you want someone you can sit in?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:31, Reply)

He's spent too long living with TGB

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:32, Reply)

one of the young ladies in our office was wearing one of those stockbroker shirts today
white collar and cuffs and [whatever that bit with the buttonholes is called], blue rest of shirt with a few white pinstripes, you know the sort.

Surprisingly hot look.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:36, Reply)

I'd look like a scruffy man

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:54, Reply)

I can't believe how many OT girls would be willing to try on berks pants
Not that I'd expect them to be unclean or anything, but I'm just surprised.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:56, Reply)

It would reinforce the man look

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:56, Reply)

berk wears y-fronts?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:00, Reply)

HEY! AMBERL!!!!!
ITV2 at 10.45pm

You're on the TELLY!!!!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:00, Reply)

Hahaha
Don't mess with Amberl, Jeff. She'll slap you right down.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:03, Reply)

Don't I know it.
She is proper nails.

Talking of nails. Apologies. I meant to give you some money at PIER BASH for throwing yourself off a high-thing. Next time, I will.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Don't worry about that.
The money I raised has been handed over, and the note of thanks I was promised never appeared.

If i wasn't such a sweet, forgiving type, I might phone them up just to ask if their mummies ever taught them how to write thank you letters.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:13, Reply)

The mummies are probably too distressed to write letters.
Given that their kids have just died.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:15, Reply)

The Fattest woman in the world

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:04, Reply)

You're really not fat.
Have a word with yourself.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:05, Reply)

Remember what we said the other day
Whatever the scales say you weigh, take a stone off of that. in my case, that still makes me a good stone overweight, but it makes me feel a bit better.

And don't believe BMI charts. They are not designed for women with curves.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:11, Reply)

And their flight schedules are shit too.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:11, Reply)

Nah', I reckon you'd look cute like that, fo'sho'.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:58, Reply)

Except with huge boobs
and so in fact, very little like a man at all. And you're meant to look rumpled and bedhaired.
(berk, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 21:59, Reply)

i can play keepy uppy with mine

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:00, Reply)

You mean you have a conversation all three of you understand.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:01, Reply)

I can't.

(berk, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:04, Reply)

I like to play that too, I think the game works a bit slower for boys though.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:16, Reply)

I had the 'look like a man' discussion
with my friend, who thought about it and said I'd be a hot man, and that my breasts would translate into, and I quote 'a horse cock'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:05, Reply)

Well I'm buggered either way then
and for god's sake woman you are NOT FAT.
(berk, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:07, Reply)

Oddly, I've just made a similar comment.
If Amberl really wants to make some life-improvements, she could take some golf lessons.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:08, Reply)

take give
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:12, Reply)

Lesson one
'The chav flattener'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:13, Reply)

Lesson two
The 'smash the commie in the face'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Lesson Three.
*Ordering an ice-cream that looks like a good idea at the time, but on reflection, it's a bit big, and Jeff 'have you spotted a bin anywhere?'*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:16, Reply)

:(

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:18, Reply)

At least you got in the spirit of things.
Blousie had a coffee and I had nowt!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Me and CQ had double flavours
cos we is well ard, innit.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:24, Reply)

I love ice cream and sunshine and seaside
I wish I'd been able to go :(
(berk, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:25, Reply)

so do I.
And cavy too.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:26, Reply)

berk.
If it'll make you happy, we'll go next year.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:27, Reply)

Yay!
I want to go to Brighton as well, I've never been.
(berk, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:28, Reply)

Gonz likes Brighton
Maybe he could organise something?

I'll take you RIGHT UP THE PROMENADE if that's what you'd like.

Alternatively, can we just go to the cafe that features in Quadrophenia?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Does Brighton have a promenade?

(berk, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:31, Reply)

If it does, is that an acceptance?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:32, Reply)

Money and time dependent, yes.

(berk, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Woo - You'll be my prom queen!
Oh I do like to be beside the sea-side.
Oh I do like to be beside the sea.
Oh I do like to stroll along the prom, prom, prom,
Where the brass-band play 'FUCK OFF WEST BROM'
Just incase Lighty reads this
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:38, Reply)

*points two fingers at eyes*
*points fingers at Jeff*

Don't make us come down there and beat you 5-1 again.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:39, Reply)

#Sings....
'You're not as good as Blackpool!'

(Who beat us 5-0)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:40, Reply)

I was busy buying a dozen sticks of rock.
Which I left in my bag. Which was at Boyce Towers come the evening of the great bash Boyce.

Not to be out done, I left it behind when I left. I assumed he'd appreciate a few 'rocks'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:26, Reply)

I read that as 'great gash boyce'
which didn't really surprise me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:28, Reply)

I'll tell Lusty you said that.
Then you'll be in trouble.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:29, Reply)

Lesson four
'Give some chavvy oiks a good fucking slap for trying to start something'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:18, Reply)

Lesson five
*Look after Jeff in case it kicks off at the bus stop back in Bristol*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:19, Reply)

*Thinks of woeful performance*
and that wasn't a complaint about weight, but my long face.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:12, Reply)

There are more important things you'd not want to under perform in.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Hah, horses'n'courses and all that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 22:17, Reply)