*reads back*
The weather has made me get a cold. Fuck off weather

Alt: A girl I know who has signed up for one of those photo things and is now complaining about the mindnumbing cost of pictures
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:33, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I think I'm having a cold too
at least I feel shit. I want to go home.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

How are you doing now, Aber? You must be fairly close to popping now.
Everything going well?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Yep
Between 5 and 9 weeks to go. Feeling sick all the time, pain in my pelvic and hips, headaches, out of breath... and now a runny nose. Don't ever get pregnant.

I read you're doing better, aren't you?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I'll trya nd avoid it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I am NEVER going to get pregnant
and if I do, I will be straight round the coat hanger factory.

Yes, I've been suffering a bit this week with lady problems, which now seems to be easing up. Hurrah!
Ironically, one of the best cures for endometriosis is having a baby.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I can confirm this is not the case
Mrs Cow has this and it made no difference to her post-kids
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:51, Reply)

This at least makes me feel slightly better about the nagging I get from health 'professionals'
I had an op a few years ago which helped, but they said it wasn't a permanent solution, and after the last few months, I see why they said that.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:53, Reply)

The pill apparently helps

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

But that has other long-term problems

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Probably
but it means no snip for me!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:03, Reply)

If you'd come to me yesterday with that attitude, mister
I would have offered you a rather more enthusiastic snip. With a pair of rusty garden shears.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Which ones?
If you're regular you should be ok. I've been taking the pill for more than 10 years and never had a problem.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Males cannot get pregnant.
They have nowhere for the gestation. And lady things.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:54, Reply)

The last time I checked
I definitely had the lady things.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

*Applause*
Well done.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:58, Reply)

I don't know what endometriosis is.
And I'm not googling it. It sounds icky and painful.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

It is both of those things.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

uncontrolled growth of the endometrium during the menstrual cycle
it's not particularly icky but it's certainly very painful.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Also
when it's in other places in your body and can't be flushed out the usual way, it becomes stupidly fucking painful.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)

I presume you mean in the fallopian tubes as other parts?
cos if it's, like, in your arse or something, you should probably see a doctor. Or a priest.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

The endometrial tissue can grow in other parts of your body
attaching to various other organs, like kidneys, bowels, etc.
It's why my pain this week has extended from my thights, up andround to my back, and all the way to the top of my bastard ribs.
My fucking ribs, for christ's sake!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Actually, yeah, I suppose it can.
failure to inhibit VEGF would cause uncontrolled growth theoretically anywhere with an edometrium. I hadn't thought of that. That's pretty severe, though. I don't think we even considered treating outside the "ladygarden" in our work. Sorry :(
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Won't someone think of b3th?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:21, Reply)

+ while masturbating furiously

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Menstruation is God's punishment for tempting Adam in the Garden of Eden.
A rasta friend of mine told me this, he won't share a bed with his missus when she's on the rag.
She's not allowed to cook either, either his sister or his mum cooks for him. Does this stand up to feminist analysis?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me
I'm just glad I have wifi in my hut at the bottom of the garden....
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:06, Reply)

My understanding is that menstruating women can curdle milk
Is that right?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I'm taking "menstruating" as a doing verb, here.
Like playing. "what are you doing, geoff?" "oh, I'm just out menstruating women, Trev. Helps the milk curdle"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Oh, yesss
and we can spoil mayoneise (sp?) too.

FFS.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Mayonnaise
Isn't it Spanish in origin?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:15, Reply)

Yep
But you write it different than we do.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)

And increase sales of tampons
there is no end
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Aren't tampons still liable for VAT?
That really annoys me. They're still classed as luxury goods rather than essentials. Unless they're not, and the rules have been changed.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)

All you need is a copy of Take That,
and some Pringles. You'll be in wimmin heaven.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Catholics think the same
but it's been at least 60 years or so that women aren't considered sinful while on their periods.

In theory, you men work hard and earn your food with the sweat of your forehead, and we go through the pain of periods and delivery. Lovely. If it wasn't because any female mamal goes through the pain of delivery too, I'd think that this theory is flawless.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:13, Reply)

My old company developed a very effective treatment for endemetriosis about 10 years ago
it was just too expensive to market for a chronic indication. Sad times. We did put a two-way tampon with high-local dose mefanamic acid out there though, has that ever appeared as a treatment?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Never heard of that.
I have heard of hot water ablation though. But that only helps if the problem is localised. If you know what I mean.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:02, Reply)

It puts the hose up its chuff?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:03, Reply)

or else it gets the hose...
...wait, no, hang on..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)

the tampon or the mefanamic acid?
and, yeah, I do know what you mean.

One of our directors once asked me to "explain in more detail" our early-model delivery system in a meeting with venture capitalists

We were delivering in liquid formulation by vaginal douche. I tried to explain more delicately and he just announced loudly "what, do you turn them upside down and pour it in?"

We never got that round of funding.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Yes
There's a woman that's been going to my doctor for 6 years, with very bad problems and after all that time trying with drugs and stuff, the doctor has told her to get pregnant. Problem is that she's on her early 20s and hasn't got a job or a partner, so it's not going to happen. She wasn't very happy.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Photo things?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Do a photoshoot where you get all made up etc
it's generally a tiny price, and then they fleece you out of hundreds on the photos. It's pretty much a scam
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Yep
Kitty went for one of those, and told me not to do it, as I got a "free" one just before the wedding. Scam is the word.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Oh yeah
Mrs Cow did that with the kids ages ago. We found a much cheaper one whose name I cannot recall now. Worked out about £35 for 3 8*10 photos, 2 6*4s, a CD of all the pics and some keyrings
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:50, Reply)

I'm getting a lot of "free" offers now
for me&mybump and me&mybaby stuff. I bet they're not as free as they say.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Max Speilman photography was the place
I tihnk it is a chain
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I might have a look
I'm not too bothered with the pictures, to be honest, I just thought of having those done because they were free, or so I thought.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)

I suspect it's not the weather
I'm going for "weakened immune system caused by constantly only consuming 400 calories a day even though you no more need to lose weight than I need lessons in being right, ONLINE"

I'll give you odds of 3 to 1
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)

This^
I was going to post something about this today. Unless you have been injecting jaffa cakes directly into your heart since your facebook pics were posted, then you dont need to lose weight
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I MUCH prefer chocolate digestives
*mainlines lard*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I've got a shitty immune system anyway
but why would I get a cold *just* as the weather changes? Correlation not causation eh?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:00, Reply)

colds have nothing to do with temperature or weather.
there may be a slight correlation with constant temperature changes from outside to inside having a tiny effect on the immune system, but mostly people just conveniently "remember" getting colds in the autumn and winter and forget summer ones.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Additionally, people are indoors more when it is cold and in close proximity
This means the cold can more easily be passed on
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)

I don't usually get colds
which is why this one is annoying
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)

eat pies.
you can trust me, I'm a doctor.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Then you won't want the NHS
clogged up with obesity
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:13, Reply)

If you're fat I'm the fucking pope.


the fucking
fucking the

before someone else does it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:19, Reply)

A man who'll fuck a pope has no taste

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:21, Reply)

yes, but I'm not fucking the pope, am I.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I had a cold this summer
True story.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I don't believe you
/qotw
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:16, Reply)