Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Ok, so after rswipe's and al's tiff, guess that thread is over.Time for a new one. Is anyone you know apparently shocked at the seasonal weather we're getting at the moment?
Alt: How else are people astounding you with mind-numbing stupidity?
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:18, 284 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Given the wide range of intellects on here stupidity elsewhere no longer surprises me.A lot of our clients at work are amazingly thick though and couldn't tell a brand from a product.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:22,
Reply)
Only takes a second's thought.What's so difficult about that? Although I just had to describe a PC as "The big box with flashing lights you turn on first thing in the morning".
Oh well.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)
I bet it's Lupus rather than a heart problem.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
It's clearly an MI4 units cross match STAT!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
But they always think it might be(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:36,
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Sometimes it is, although the person i know with it wasn't diagnosed until she was travelling and had an attack in NZ(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:38,
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Seasonal? It was hailing and pissing down here last night.Horrible weather.
As to the stupidity, that goes without saying. I just keep my mouth shut, and look forward to PUB dinnertime, where at least the stupidity will be well meant, and fun.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)
No, but a lot of people I know appear tobe shocked that it's dark in the mornings now.I assume they are the same people who get shocked when their hair is longer than it was a month ago too.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:27,
Reply)
When we got married in Edinburgh in June our English guests were confused that it was still light at 11pm & thought it was about 8pm.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:29,
Reply)
The amount of times I want to do a Hungerford, and let loose with an assault rifle on random members of the public. I think I need help.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)
Hang aboutYou got married in Edinburgh earlier this year... are you married to The Mighty Badger?
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)
You mean two B3tans got married in the same city in the same year?!What are the chances?!
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)
11/2.And I shall be the bookie. I'm feeling in that sort of a mood.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Pookie the bookie?Sounds like a dodgy kid's cartoon
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:41,
Reply)
I can assure you that the chances would be much slimmer if the city was Norwich rather than EdinburghNot least since it would probably involve me getting married
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:42, Reply)
I am surprised that any B3tans have persuaded anyone to marry them. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:46,
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That's why I married another b3tan.(
crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:13,
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I thought that was because he knocked you up?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:19,
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No, although the temperature drop between yesterday and the day before was quite a surprise(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:29,
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It was freezing here lastnight.That's the problem with the North. Good place, shit weather.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)
London last Saturday was 29 degrees. Yesterday it was 12.I put the heating back on last night. Niiiiiiice.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:34,
Reply)
A work colleague once tried to put the wrong RAM in a laptop and when it didn't fit cut a notch in it with a hacksaw and was surprised when it didn't work. When we take the piss out of him for it months on and name him "RAMslayer" he gets very defensive and tries to justify his stupidity. I think he is ace though.
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Peej, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:30,
Reply)
We have "pastie club" at workIf you are deemed to have done something which is:
a. Stupid
b. Affects other users
You have to buy the pasties for the other pastie club members. One of the lads is off into town now as he fucked up all our RAS machines.
Cheers Jamie, I'll have a Cornish!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
BLEURGHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!There you go
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:34,
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I thought I was going to throw up this morningFeeling better now though.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:35,
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I had to sit VERY still for 1/2 an hour this morning until my MDs kicked in(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:38,
Reply)
Massive DrugsLots and lots of painkillers
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:40,
Reply)
I've only ever taken that onceNever again
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:53,
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It works,and dulls the pain of coping with twats.
God, I'm a miserable sod today.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:01, Reply)
Swallowing man fat apparently has that effect.Morning git, how's you?
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:39, Reply)
Not too bad thanks motherfuckerRealised I'm financially fucked this morning, have however rememered I am owed £100, so that will take the sting off it.
I think I'm going to have to go to the bank of my parents though, not good.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:49,
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You need to buy less rabbit meat, ZX Spectrum games, Emilio Estafez memorabilia and hob nail boots(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:53,
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The rabbit was fairly cheap, £4Considering the amount I got for £25, I'd say that was a good shop.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:54,
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Pretty sure this is gay slang(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:20,
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Bloody hellThat's a surefire way to get your lunch sorted here. One person would be buying them all the time.
Or she would be, if she hadn't been fired for being thick as pigshit.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:37, Reply)
It keeps you on your toesas a pastie round is about £15!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:38,
Reply)
The last thick woman who worked here left for another job the day before an error was uncovered that would have seen her sackedThe MD was gutted he didn't get the chance to do it.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:38,
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She took a dump in the kettle didn't she?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:43,
Reply)
Well, one of the many things was that she *forgot* to invoice a client for a job we'd done for themThey had to remind us, which is obviously quite embarrassing. Especially when the job is for £35k.
As for the final thing, currently can't remember, but will find out.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:51,
Reply)
Oh, I wish you could fire someone just for that.My last job would have been so much more pleasant.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:45,
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This has nothing to do with either questionbut my bacon and egg bap has arrived, and it is magnificent.
I thought you'd all want to know.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:32, Reply)
As I've mentioned before, bacon and egg is magnificent.It won us an empire.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:41, Reply)
If by "us" you mean "me"and by "empire" you mean "enormous sense of satisfaction shortly to be followed by the sort of poo that poems should be written about", then I agree.
And I think that is what you meant.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)
I do hope you're going to tell the internet all about this epic poo.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:44,
Reply)
Bacon makes it worthwhile.Really, I'm trying not to hit people at the moment, and it's not even 11am. 3 weeks to show someone how to use a mouse, and it still hasn't kicked in. Really, it's not that complex.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:53, Reply)
I had that problem with one of my old dearswe got there eventually though. I basically held my hand over hers and pressed the fingers down for her. After a while she got the hang of it.
And being as I'm a lady type and she's older than Jesus, it wasn't full on creepy.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:58,
Reply)
Our print manager told me a story once about a girl who needed some printing doneShe couldn't afford full colour and so the print manager siad, fine we'll do it one colour and that'll be much cheaper.
But she protested, 'I want it two colour' she said 'black AND white'...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
*reads back*The weather has made me get a cold. Fuck off weather
Alt: A girl I know who has signed up for one of those photo things and is now complaining about the mindnumbing cost of pictures
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:33,
Reply)
I think I'm having a cold tooat least I feel shit. I want to go home.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:43, Reply)
How are you doing now, Aber? You must be fairly close to popping now.Everything going well?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:44,
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YepBetween 5 and 9 weeks to go. Feeling sick all the time, pain in my pelvic and hips, headaches, out of breath... and now a runny nose. Don't ever get pregnant.
I read you're doing better, aren't you?
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:46, Reply)
I am NEVER going to get pregnantand if I do, I will be straight round the coat hanger factory.
Yes, I've been suffering a bit this week with lady problems, which now seems to be easing up. Hurrah!
Ironically, one of the best cures for endometriosis is having a baby.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:48,
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I can confirm this is not the caseMrs Cow has this and it made no difference to her post-kids
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:51,
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This at least makes me feel slightly better about the nagging I get from health 'professionals'I had an op a few years ago which helped, but they said it wasn't a permanent solution, and after the last few months, I see why they said that.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:53,
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Probablybut it means no snip for me!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:03,
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If you'd come to me yesterday with that attitude, misterI would have offered you a rather more enthusiastic snip. With a pair of rusty garden shears.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:05,
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Which ones?If you're regular you should be ok. I've been taking the pill for more than 10 years and never had a problem.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:10, Reply)
Males cannot get pregnant.They have nowhere for the gestation. And lady things.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:54, Reply)
The last time I checkedI definitely had the lady things.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:55,
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I don't know what endometriosis is.And I'm not googling it. It sounds icky and painful.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:56, Reply)
uncontrolled growth of the endometrium during the menstrual cycleit's not particularly icky but it's certainly very painful.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:01,
Reply)
Alsowhen it's in other places in your body and can't be flushed out the usual way, it becomes stupidly fucking painful.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:04,
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I presume you mean in the fallopian tubes as other parts?cos if it's, like, in your arse or something, you should probably see a doctor. Or a priest.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:09,
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The endometrial tissue can grow in other parts of your bodyattaching to various other organs, like kidneys, bowels, etc.
It's why my pain this week has extended from my thights, up andround to my back, and all the way to the top of my bastard ribs.
My fucking ribs, for christ's sake!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:13,
Reply)
Actually, yeah, I suppose it can.failure to inhibit VEGF would cause uncontrolled growth theoretically anywhere with an edometrium. I hadn't thought of that. That's pretty severe, though. I don't think we even considered treating outside the "ladygarden" in our work. Sorry :(
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:17,
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Won't someone think of b3th?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:21,
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Menstruation is God's punishment for tempting Adam in the Garden of Eden.A rasta friend of mine told me this, he won't share a bed with his missus when she's on the rag.
She's not allowed to cook either, either his sister or his mum cooks for him. Does this stand up to feminist analysis?
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:04, Reply)
Sounds perfectly reasonable to meI'm just glad I have wifi in my hut at the bottom of the garden....
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:06,
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My understanding is that menstruating women can curdle milkIs that right?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:09,
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I'm taking "menstruating" as a doing verb, here.Like playing. "what are you doing, geoff?" "oh, I'm just out menstruating women, Trev. Helps the milk curdle"
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:11,
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MayonnaiseIsn't it Spanish in origin?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:15,
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And increase sales of tamponsthere is no end
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:19,
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Aren't tampons still liable for VAT?That really annoys me. They're still classed as luxury goods rather than essentials. Unless they're not, and the rules have been changed.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:24,
Reply)
All you need is a copy of Take That, and some Pringles. You'll be in wimmin heaven.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:10, Reply)
Catholics think the samebut it's been at least 60 years or so that women aren't considered sinful while on their periods.
In theory, you men work hard and earn your food with the sweat of your forehead, and we go through the pain of periods and delivery. Lovely. If it wasn't because any female mamal goes through the pain of delivery too, I'd think that this theory is flawless.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:13, Reply)
My old company developed a very effective treatment for endemetriosis about 10 years agoit was just too expensive to market for a chronic indication. Sad times. We did put a two-way tampon with high-local dose mefanamic acid out there though, has that ever appeared as a treatment?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:00,
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Never heard of that.I have heard of hot water ablation though. But that only helps if the problem is localised. If you know what I mean.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:02,
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It puts the hose up its chuff?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:03,
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or else it gets the hose......wait, no, hang on..
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:04,
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the tampon or the mefanamic acid?and, yeah, I do know what you mean.
One of our directors once asked me to "explain in more detail" our early-model delivery system in a meeting with venture capitalists
We were delivering in liquid formulation by vaginal douche. I tried to explain more delicately and he just announced loudly "what, do you turn them upside down and pour it in?"
We never got that round of funding.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:08,
Reply)
YesThere's a woman that's been going to my doctor for 6 years, with very bad problems and after all that time trying with drugs and stuff, the doctor has told her to get pregnant. Problem is that she's on her early 20s and hasn't got a job or a partner, so it's not going to happen. She wasn't very happy.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:09, Reply)
Do a photoshoot where you get all made up etcit's generally a tiny price, and then they fleece you out of hundreds on the photos. It's pretty much a scam
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:45,
Reply)
YepKitty went for one of those, and told me not to do it, as I got a "free" one just before the wedding. Scam is the word.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Oh yeahMrs Cow did that with the kids ages ago. We found a much cheaper one whose name I cannot recall now. Worked out about £35 for 3 8*10 photos, 2 6*4s, a CD of all the pics and some keyrings
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:50,
Reply)
I'm getting a lot of "free" offers nowfor me&mybump and me&mybaby stuff. I bet they're not as free as they say.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:16, Reply)
Max Speilman photography was the placeI tihnk it is a chain
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:48,
Reply)
I might have a lookI'm not too bothered with the pictures, to be honest, I just thought of having those done because they were free, or so I thought.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:51, Reply)
I suspect it's not the weatherI'm going for "weakened immune system caused by constantly only consuming 400 calories a day even though you no more need to lose weight than I need lessons in being right, ONLINE"
I'll give you odds of 3 to 1
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:56,
Reply)
This^I was going to post something about this today. Unless you have been injecting jaffa cakes directly into your heart since your facebook pics were posted, then you dont need to lose weight
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:59,
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I MUCH prefer chocolate digestives*mainlines lard*
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:07,
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I've got a shitty immune system anywaybut why would I get a cold *just* as the weather changes? Correlation not causation eh?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:00,
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colds have nothing to do with temperature or weather.there may be a slight correlation with constant temperature changes from outside to inside having a tiny effect on the immune system, but mostly people just conveniently "remember" getting colds in the autumn and winter and forget summer ones.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:03,
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Additionally, people are indoors more when it is cold and in close proximityThis means the cold can more easily be passed on
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:04,
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I don't usually get coldswhich is why this one is annoying
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:04,
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eat pies. you can trust me, I'm a doctor.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:12,
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Then you won't want the NHSclogged up with obesity
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:13,
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If you're fat I'm the fucking pope.before someone else does it.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:19,
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A man who'll fuck a pope has no taste(
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:21,
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yes, but I'm not fucking the pope, am I.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:42,
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I had a cold this summerTrue story.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:13,
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Nobody has said anything about the weather to mebut I did catch myself thinking it was odd that the weather had changed so dramatically in the space of two days. Then I remembered that it was actually October, and had a word with myself.
Alt: I'm astounded that people are still antagonising each other online, and apparently taking it all very seriously. I'm now doing the online equivalent of that thing you do at a dinner party when one of the couples has a massive barney. You know, that thing where you all laugh nervously and try to change the subject to anything else.
In other news, I appear to have a full range of movememnt this morning. Either I have finally taken enough drugs to affect a permanent effect on my system, or my body has decided it doesn't want to destroy itself from the inside out anymore.
Looking back on what I've just written, I suspect the former.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:43,
Reply)
Morning b3thGlad to hear you are better
Where are you doing the "calm down dear"?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:44,
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I don't know.I don't think I really understand the question.
*cries*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:52,
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Abridged version:Was confused about weather, then wasn't
Drugs fix body
I'm a spaz
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:45,
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I don't think I've ever been fully functionalbut I'm as close to it as I ever get.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:50,
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I think you've got your affect and effect the wrong way roundMust be the drugs.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:56,
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Don't think so.Affect is the verb, Effect is the noun.
EDIT: That's right, isn't it?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:00,
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I'm not sure what you were originally trying to say...affect - to change or make a difference to
effect - a result; to bring about a result
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:06,
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That's exactly what I was trying to sayI think I've taken enough drugs over the last couple of days to achieve a permanent alteration of my physiological system.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:10,
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See, why didn't you just say that in the first place?/campaign for plain English
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:17,
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i have signed up to the Movember run in Greenwich parkfor this i shall be growing a moustach, but what style shall I aim for.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:46,
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I'd like a WWII fighter pilot's waxed tashbut not sure that there will be time to grow it in one month
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:49,
Reply)
Dali's tash rocked.At the moment, I ahve a semi beard, 2 weeks of not shaving. I don't plan on a beard, they just grow through laziness.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:08, Reply)
A semi on is non appropriate work behaviour.So no, counting the hours till 1.30, and I can drink scrumpy.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:15, Reply)
I quite like a nice beardNot so long that you get food on it, but long enough so it doesn't itch anymore when kissing.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:22, Reply)
Drinking Guinness and having a beard is fun.A malty breakfast from the previous night.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)
BleurghIf you can taste your last night beer for breakfast, your bear is too long. And you should wash your face more often.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:29, Reply)
i am starting to really like truthbert nowthat's only stupid if she really is bert.
this time last week, i was hurtling down rollercoasters in burning hot sunshine. now i am wearing a cardigan and a wrap in my office. humph.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:48,
Reply)
If Truthbert really isn't Bert...Then she might actually be a she. *gazzes cock pic, just in case*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:00,
Reply)
I'm happy with the weatherafter 6 years living in Manchester this London weather feels like paradise. I'm so glad we moved down south.
I'm surprise people at work don't think I'm stupid. They've only known me after I got pregnant and my head has never been on the right place, so I keep making stupid mistakes, yet, they all seem very happy with my work...
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 10:49, Reply)
Ignore him, he's being meanforeigner-baiting is a national pastime here. You've probably noticed this.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:20,
Reply)
BarelyI take all comments as positive, so I think most of the ironic insults I've been told I've just thought were said in good faith. Blessing of the ignorants, isn't it?
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:23, Reply)
In a way.I was going to make vague reference to Fawlty Towers, but in the end... a bit too much like kicking a puppy.
I'm not Rory.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)
¿Qué?Mark has been asked if he'd like an assignment near Barcelona. I've been begging him to move to Spain for a few years. But now, Catalonia... I don't know if I want to live there. They can be quite racist with the rest of Spaniards.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:31, Reply)
I noticed that, when I visited thereI'd been good and learned some nice Spanish phrases to make an effort, and they all pretended they didn't understand a single word. I know Catalan is an entirely different language, and it's possible some of the older generation might not have spoken fluent Spanish, but still....
Bloody foreigners.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:35,
Reply)
It's not such a different languageWhen I was a kid and spent long times there (I grow up in Tenerife, speaking only Spanish) they'd talk to me in Catalan and I'd reply in Spanish, and we could understand each other perfectly. Now they seem to feel proud of not understanding the 2nd most spoken language in the world.
I think parents that insist on an education in Catalan over Spanish just for nacionalist reasons, forgetting how important is to know a language that is widely spoken in the rest of the world, are sellfish and stupid; but then, that's the 99% of parents in Catalonia.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:40, Reply)
If English wasn't the lingua franca of the worldwe'd be in the same boat.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:42,
Reply)
YepIn no time you'd have the Irish, Scottish and Wales-men (??) refusing to speak English.
I can't see how people can be so blind. Teach them your language, yes, but why rob your kids the chance of a better job and better life?
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:48, Reply)
Alt: A lad on facebook just posted this"In May 2010 Tohseef Shah spray painted a British War Memorial with "islam will dominate osama is coming" he was fined £50 & walked free from court. In November 2010, Emdadur Choudhury burned a Poppy during the 2mins silence. He too was given a £50 fine and walked free from court. Today, 2 men have been sentenced to 12 months in prison for spray painting a Poppy on a mosque. Welcome to the Great British justice system. Disgusting.... Who's brave enough to Copy & Paste this only those who think Great Britain is no longer GREAT"
I've just taken great pleasure in informing him about the actual reason the EDL wankers were sent down.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:15,
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Morning Al. I see there's been all sorts of shennanigans on here this morning.(
thealternativefact, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:18,
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I know, I can sense an accusation of TERRIBLE ONLINE BULLYING on it's way.(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)
your punctuation is shocking todaysort it out. i'm not bickering with the fucktarded.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:36,
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Morning Clendrix.I bought 5 lamb kidneys today and when I said to the butcher "How much?" he whispered and said "50p" and gave me a wink. 50p for 5 kidneys ! I've never had kidney before, I think I'll do them in a devil sauce (you know, that curry thing) on toast.
I also bought 5 'best cut' lamb chops, they're mahoosive, I'm going to do them with some Mint Jelly (note: Mint jelly, not Mint Sauce). Extra crispy fat. Lovely.
There is enough for the two of us if you want to move in with me.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:25,
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I bet there's a few asylum seekers without kidneys round your way now....(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:29,
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That'll save me having to add some mild curry powder to it then !(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:31,
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I like the taste of kidneysbut they have a smell that I find unpleasant. But steak and kidney pie is lovely.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:37, Reply)
I've never tried them, but my latest pinup-chef Valantine Warner was cooking them yesterday...... he cut them in half, cut out the white bits, sortayed some onion, added the kidneys, flashed in some sherry and sherry vinigar, added some cream and served on toast.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:39,
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That sounds disgusting./not a fan of offal
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:45,
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I really like Offal, I really want to try Sweatbreads at some point.I think this is true, and it's just an observation, but I belive that people of your generation and higher ones, when they think of Offal, they consider it Poor Man's Food, the offcuts that end up for the dog. They also relate it to school meals that would cook the offal really badly.
Where as my generation, who hasn't grown up with it on an instertutional level, can see it for what it is when cooked right.
But naturally there are people who consider it disgusting because they can't get their head around the fact that it's not mussel or fat.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:51,
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Sweetbreads are delicious. Agree with Al about the smell of some offal. Like eating it regardless though. Except tripe. Eurgh.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:53,
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Could you describe what Sweetbreads are like?I've never tried tripe, I'd like to, but I can't imagine me enjoying it. I hate rubbery food.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:18,
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OY!What do you mean 'my generation'? I'm only about ten years older than you, you cheeky fucking get!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:54,
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Heh, every 3 or soo years I consider a new generation, rather than every 16 years.You know what I mean !
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:18,
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Morning GonzerooFor the sake of our wonderful friendship, let's continue living apart.
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thealternativefact, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:45,
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*looks around the room, at the mess*Yes, I think that might possibly definatly be for the best =)
How are you doing?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:48,
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I'm OK - just getting to the end of a hellish week, but all's well.Off to see a violent play tonight - hurrah!
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thealternativefact, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:59,
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Oh lovely, what one? I love violent plays.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:16,
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They spraypainted the mosque with more than just a poppy, smashed windows of local muslim shops, and went "muzzy bashing"That's a quote from them.
www.darlingtonandstocktontimes.co.uk/news/9285271.Former_English_Defence_League_members_jailed_over_mosque_and_shop_attack/
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:24,
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What was the actual reason?I'd like to know.
I think the system is a bit broken, though, but more in the sense of a few not so guilty rioters getting years of prision for minor damages when a few very guilty MPs get only a few months for stealing thousands.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:19, Reply)
Almost all of the rioters that got long sentences had previous convictionsand the offences are considered differently, in that fraud is a non-aggressive crime that lacks a single identifiable victim.
Having said that, I think that the MPs should have gone down for longer, but that's no reason to suggest the looters shouldn't.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:23,
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YepThat's why I said a few not so guilty rioters, like that lad who helped a family to get out of a house on fire, then was offered a bottle of beer that had been stolen, had a sip and was sent to jail for a few months (I think they finally let him get off the jail, but still got the conviction)
I think fraud has an identifiable victim: you and me. Politicians make the laws so that they favour them; the fact that it's written as a law doesn't mean it's fair.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:26, Reply)
I'm unconvinced the first example actually happened exactly like you mention.The press here are absolute arseholes for misreporting this kind of thing.
and, we put the politicians in power. They speak for us. That's what democracy is. If they break the laws they should be punished, but if you simply don't like the laws they make, vote them out, or live somewhere else.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:31,
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I'm living somewhere elseas these things in Spain are much worse than here. However, there's no much we can do, is it? Whoever gets in power is not going to change the laws to make it more difficult to themselves.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:32, Reply)
well.... yeah. they willif enough people actually object then only a party that guarantees to change it will be voted in. Again, that's how democracy works.
The problem here is, and probably rightly so, MPs expenses is such a piddlingly insignificant thing in the scheme of things, particularly given how little they are paid anyway, that most people don't really give a toss about a little explotiation of loopholes. It's when it becomes dishonest that it's an issue.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:36,
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I would disagree with you therethey don't get paid a little amount, they get quite a lot higher than the average wage, and they get a lot of legitimate expenses paid for.
It brought to light just how ridiculous some of the "loopholes" were, such as MPs living in London being allowed to claim mortgage payments on second houses not that much closer to Westminster than their first house.
And I think that really shocked a lot of people who previously weren't aware of that situation.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:40, Reply)
I thinkthat your politicians are in fact quite good in general (I'm not voting on the next Spanish general elections as they have made it almost impossible for me to do it, so I'm going full British from now on) and I have to say that the fact that the MPs actually stepped down from their cabinets before even they're found guilty was really a good example.
Now, in Spain a big, big chunck of the population is asking for a change on the laws that leave politicians run free with loads (and I mean millions, no thousands) of money; and nothing is being done. And when the next party wins in November, nothing will be done either. That's how democracy works. There are 2, maybe 3 choices, and when they get to power, they all protect themselves.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:45, Reply)
Oh that's rightI remember seeing footage of mass student protests a while ago.
I guess the royal weddings haven't helped keep the people distracted then?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:47,
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It wasn't only studentsand it was reported on the news so badly, as if they're complaining for the Goverment cuts, like in Greece. It's not like that; it's people from all sections, complaining about politicians being legally paid absurds ammounts of money (you wouldn't believe it) and stealing even more, and going home free after 4 years of "work", not having to do a job anymore.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)
They were jailed for vandalism and inciting racial hatred.burning a poppy has nothing to do with race, hence the "no prison" thing
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:28,
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FREE DANNY ! E....E....EDL !!!! NFSE !!!!!!Not being funny or nuffin', not bein' racist, but they speak for the working man who doesn't have a voice anymore. It's not all of 'em, Mr Patel down the p**i-shop is alright, sorts me out he does, if I'm a quid short for a stella, he'll let me get him next time. Always asks for it back, mind. But I had this f'cking p**i doctor once, I said to him "I've broken my wrist" (don't ask) and all he'd give me is fucking codine ! Probably 'cus 'em islamics don't like being drugged up, sonovabitch. But at least they're working, I swear, when I go to sign on these days, there are so many f'cking curry-monsters coming here claiming benfits when they should be going to decent honest white people who were born here.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:21,
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I actually find myself agreeing with some of these sentiments.Which disturbs me.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:24, Reply)
But Mr Patel *is* alrightalthough this is more related to his personality than his nationality.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:26,
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I hope it's the subtext of the only slight exasoration of their deplorable attitude, that you're agreeing with.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:27,
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I'm not a fan of the Islamicification of this country.Then again, I'm not a fan of Christians or Jews either, so I suppose my bigotry goes across the board.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:37, Reply)
This country isn't being Islamified.in any way, shape or form, other than the distateful shite made up by wankers like the EDL and given a faux-legitimate voice by the cunts at the Mail and the Express.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:39,
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Now, I don't claim to be any kind of political heavyweightbut isn't that kind of like saying Spain is being anglicisied, based on visiting Magaluf?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:43,
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But Brits only visit there for a week at a time,to get pissed, fight and eat kebabs. sad but true.
We don't construct mosques, preach hatred or protest Christmas.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:46, Reply)
a mosque is a building.I fucking hate car parks but that's not a valid reason for protest.
there are as many "hatred-preaching" christians as there are muslims. More, in fact, and far more dangerous, because there's at least three in parliment.
And no-one, for the love of fuck, has ever "protested christmas".
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:48,
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Nothing like a recent reference, AA.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:52,
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Bloody PuritansComing over here with their Christian propaganda
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:52,
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I love this so much.www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2kyNbZc7oc
My name is, my name is, my name is.... charles the second.
I love the people and the people love me, so much so they restored the english monarchy.
I'm part scottish, french italian and a little bit dame, but 100% party animal... champaign?
Spanials I adore named after me too, like me they're fun with a natty hair doo.
Is today my birthday? I can't recall, Let's have a party anyway 'cus I love a masked ball.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:57,
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It is excellent, saw that the other day(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:03,
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I beg to disagree on the last statement,friend of mine is a music teacher, and Christmas things at school are not allowed. This ISN'T a Daily Fail urban myth, it's actually happened.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)
The only person I've ever come across who seriously complained about xmaswas a Jehovah's Witness. She was proper mental, though.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:55,
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no-one BANNED it.It's not Islam's fault if individual schools are retarded. And my sister-in-law TAs in schools in preston and bolton so I can confirm it is individual schools.
in any case, they're hardly removing christams songs to celebrate Eid, are they? so it's got fuck all to do with Islam and a lot to do with one or two idiots or, possibly, a secularisation of schools in general, which is a good thing, right?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:56,
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Well a friend of mine knows your friend and told he was a kiddy fiddlerso it's not a lie it's 100% FACT!
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:01, Reply)
No, noI mean the ex-pat communities. Aren't there loads of areas where they have English people all retiring to the sunshine?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:48,
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Nononono, no muslim, or non-christian, has ever been offended by "the flag" or christian holidays. I have never, not once, not in all these years, seen anyone of a non-christian faith say "I hate christmas, I wish they would change it to Wintervile" or something like that.
It's always, if it happens at lal, councils who are doing it on behalf of these people, and they're doing it wrongly.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:53,
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In all fairness, I think it was a council decision.Probably a Guardian reading diversity awareness chap. Fuck, I really really sound like Richard Littlejohn.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:56, Reply)
As far as I'm concerned school is for learning.It's not for celebrating a man/gods birth by dressing up as sheep and waving at your parents.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:02, Reply)
^ThisDon't present this stuff to my kids as fact. Sure, you can teach them about it, as long as you present it as a story.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:06,
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You're just trying to provoke reactions now...(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:11,
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And why not?I'm having a shit day, and want to share it with others.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:16, Reply)
I was there yesterday as it happens.areas that have high concentrations of people from an islamic background is not islamification. Nothing has been islamified in any way. We do not have a single law in this country that is "islamic". Not one single thing that affects yours or my daily life is now subjected to any "islamic" rules.
I struggle to see any difference between what you've just said and me objecting to the number of Scots that live on my street.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:46,
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I would think in Embra the English would outnumber the Scots two to one.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:49,
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Nah, not really.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:52,
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And it is precisely this Anglicisation which is destroying the Scottish cultureof deep-frying things
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:53,
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I read this as you smoking Embassy No1sA classy cigarette in Scotland, no doubt.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:58,
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You live in EdinburghSurely you should object to the number of English people, and then fuck off yourself.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)
that was my point.majority of Muslims living in the UK are British. You have as much valid right to object to them living here as I would have to object to Scots living in Scotland.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:51,
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Oh rightfair point.
*goes to tailor to have off the peg suit taken in*
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:52, Reply)
mind you, I'm liking your idea.Starting an "English out" campaign and then disappearing up my own arse in some kind of recursive loop.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:54,
Reply)
I'm sure that a lot of people have actually said this, in all seriousness.And they probably have 'a mate' who knows for 'a fact' that it definitely goes on here just like they're saying it does, and they should all be sent back where they came from.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:27,
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Anyone who thinks that's a witty riposte can fuck off along with Tony B.Liar, Gordon Clown, Nu Liar-Bore, David CONaron and NICK CLEGG AND HIS CRONIES.(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:35, Reply)
Tohseef Shah was fined £500it's all stupid anyway. If I burn a piece of paper I'm burning paper, if I draw a poppy on it and burn it I deserve massive fines and deportation
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Peej, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:24,
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* Quoteish from Bill Hicks, not exact*"They burrrrn the flag ! They gone done burn the flag ! My grand-daddy died faced down in the koreean mud for that flag !" I got my flag from Wallmart, would be a lot easier. Wow, look at this, what a coincidence, my flag says Made in North Koreea. No, your grand-daddy didn't die for the flag, he died for what the flag represents, and that includes the freedom to..... yes, you guessed it..... Burn the damn flag.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:30,
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"I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it"Voltaire.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:42,
Reply)
Perhaps we could put the hardline Muslims and the EDL nutters all in one placeWho would win? There's only one way to find out...
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:30, Reply)
Battle Royale style?The television rights would be worth a fortune.
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Peej, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:32,
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They'll just delete each other's words the moment they get backed into a corner using logic, or asked to provide proof of their claims.Don't get me wrong, the MAC are scum too.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:32,
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Muslims Against Crusades.They're basiclly the islamic version of the EDL, a small minority fringe group who want Shiria Law in the UK. They're just on the boarders of being banned like Islam4uk, and the EDL use them as an example of all muslims.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:38,
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Oh yeah, now I remember.Weren't they in some demo the other month?
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:39, Reply)
Extremism related to race and / or religion (regardless of which) is always dangerous. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:40,
Reply)
Extremism, in my opinion, is dangerous no matter what it is.Weather it's football, religion, race or what hot beverage you want, it's all the same to me. When you consider everyone else who is outside of your group, as a lower-class of person, then it's wrong.
Personally, in my life, I'm affected more by extremest football fans, such as when I get the tube home on a match-day for Arsenal, then they flood the tube, making lots of noise, are extremely rude, shouting chants, calling all fans of opposiing teams some kind of abuse.... They're trying to change my life (trying to get me to support their team) more than any Imram has done.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:47,
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They're against 800 year old religious military campaigns?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:41,
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Introduce the sikhs, and the EDL would get battered(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:34,
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I saw on a pro-EDL facebook group someone said "Give the muslim person a poppy, if they don't accept it, they're not british and should be deported".Then RNUK (from /talk) came up with this gem.
"We'll have an Anti "Steve is a Nonce" day"... the EDL guy's name was steve.... "Everyone called Steve has to wear a red armband to stand in solidartiy against peadofilia. You're all against Peadofilia anyway, so it's not a problem, and if you don't accept the armband, then we know where you stand, and you should be locked up".
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:44,
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I'm not muslimand I'm not very found on poppies. I don't like the poppy day and I don't give money when they ask for it; because I don't like wars and I prefer to support other causes that I think are better.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:07, Reply)
Although I can see your point, I disagree.War is sometimes nessary, not for land or oil or whatever, but for people. The whole Arab Springs are amazing good for the the people of their country, and I hope it happens more and more. Even with Iraq, going in there under false pretences, I still think taking Hussain and his party/family out was a good thing for the people.
I really think someone needs to sort out Simarlia and Yemin, they're beyond horrific places.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 12:15,
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113 minutes till I sod off.I may count the seconds, just to make it more entertaining.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:38, Reply)
Make sure you don't sod off to anywhere with a Muslim in itor you could be in danger of being a massive hypocrite.
(, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)
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