I'll take "Swipe's dignity" for 500 points.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:22, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Hahahaha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:23, Reply)

and i thought we were friends :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Perhaps if you'd touched his willy...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:39, Reply)

True story, I once was with a girl who gave my willy a peck, and considered it a blowjob well done.
I mean, literally, a peck, like you'd give your grandma on the forehead so she doesn't have to get up before you leave.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:48, Reply)

get it up before you leave, more like

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)

At least she didn't create a nice vacuum seal and then blow with all her might.
I bet that would hurt.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Haha, it's when you tie it up in a knot afterwards.
*winces*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)

And then go 'ta-da!' and brandish it like a balloon animal.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Haha, not quite a kangal, more of a wrinkly pug.
And following on from this line of thought, I'm wondering what would happen if you gave someone a hellium enema.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 12:00, Reply)

you mean would they float off teh bed?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Squeeky fart?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 12:11, Reply)

I'll never understand why I was thrown out of that children's birthday party

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Oh per-lease, like you didn't lol at that.
I'm going for the "Edgy cool sarcastic hawt" look, is it working? Am I cool and edgy and sarcastic and hawt? I thought I pulled it off well, but I might have gone to far, was it to far? I don't think it was too far. I hope it doesn't turn me into the perma-gay-BFF that Chompy seems to have gotten himself stuck in.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:42, Reply)

it worked alright, even if it did make me cry
i don't think you need to worry about getting stuck in his rut, dude.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:49, Reply)

You know how england sometimes have a hosepipe ban 'cus [all the available options] has all dried up?
Well, following on from this metaphore, I know what ethopia feels like.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 12:02, Reply)