Pineapple.
Coconut.

Anyone know what the fuck this means?
Provide challenge to programme groups, developing radical and robust solutions and act as catalyst for change ensuring solutions and outcomes are based on recognised best practice and innovation.
and how can I say I'm really good at that and you should hire me?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:30, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

if you don't know how to answer it then clearly they shouldn't hire you.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:31, Reply)

They've already hired me so they can't be too picky
I just want another job where I can boss more people around and get an assitant.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

It means the person who wrote the job spec was a massive cunt.
And it looks like it boils down to "Can you project manage and get the best out of people and ensure that the things your project comes up with are in line with best practice"
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:32, Reply)

That's only number 12 out of 34.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:34, Reply)

To me that reads as
"Get all up in peoples' grills, provide answers people can't argue with and rock the boat as much as possible without actually getting the company in trouble".

That's all HR talk for "Help us find problems or inefficient existing solutions and provide solutions according to our support guidelines."
( Kroney, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Solutions
It's all about the solutions.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I'm thinking it's along the lines of "don't let the commisioners just change things on a whim"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:38, Reply)

grillEs
unless you want to cook their breakfast
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I may be a bit late for this question
but it sounds to me like 'Find and start projects, lead a team to get the most work physically possible out of them, while at the same time being a company man'.

In other words, be a maverick to everyone but the people at the top of the pile, who you must suck up to at all times.

Maybe my total disdain for management is why no-one will hire me. If you get this job, can I have your old one?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Sure, you'll need to work in Bristol probably and be able to make lots of spreadsheets.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Ah, spreadsheets are mr b3th's area of expertise.
He fucking loves writing spreadsheets. I hear 'conditional formatting' and get bored.

I bought that coffee mug that says I heart spreadsheets. Because he does. Man, can my life get more exciting?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Not if you get my job.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:57, Reply)

No wonder you're such a miserable cunt.
Perhaps if I get a fun job I'll get friends, too.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 12:00, Reply)

One step at a time for the internet shut ins.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 12:00, Reply)

I left the house this morning.
That was scary. I'm back inside now.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 14 Oct 2011, 12:04, Reply)