So your story is
I went to a clients house, didn't listen to a word they said and offended them.

Cool story bro.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:53, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

She should have taken some bacon, just to top it all off.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:54, Reply)

She should have hired a tanker, filled it with warm pig fat
and got them to use the pump to spray it all over the front of the house.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:55, Reply)

there are lots of different interpretations in just that short masterpiece
if you want to choose that one, i'm happy with that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:56, Reply)

I like mine best.
it explains the self loathing
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Actually reading more carefully the story doesn't really make sense
since she said "she told me she was not cooking and not to bring anything" which doesn't really make sense, why would someone tell you they weren't cooking and therefore don't bring anything?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:59, Reply)

no idea what you're talking about
or indeed why you bothered to re-read it.

even i would admit it scarcely stood up to being read once. i just wanted to talk to monty about almonds.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:01, Reply)

maybe they ordered out

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:03, Reply)

That's true.
I can understand her being really pissed off, if I had my friends round for a chinese takeaway and they brought humous and tzatziki, it doesn't go at all, it's just pointless, but you'd feel obliged to open it because you wouldn't want to make the friend feel like the retarded twat that they clearly were, so you'd have all this random greek shit to dip your prawn crackers in and then it would put you right off your sweet and sour pork.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:07, Reply)

if you had any friends
and if they could be bothered to schlep out to the concrete jungle on the outskirts of london that you call "home" and you only fed them a skanky greasy mono-saturated chinese takeaway... that would suck.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:10, Reply)

OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE NOBODY BOUGHT ME A FLAT IN THE MIDDLE OF LONDON!!!!!!
I MUST HAVE FAILED AT LIFE SOMEHOW!!!!!! OH WOE IS ME!!!!! WOE IS ME!!!!!
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:11, Reply)

omg caps AND bold AND exclamation marks
careful with the excitement there. you're not building a fence or painting a wall now, you know.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Oh boy, if only the html tags you used in a post bore some relation to the mood you experienced as you wrote things.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:23, Reply)

this does not dispute the fact
that you find building a fence to be exciting.

woo! yay! FENCE!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:30, Reply)

this is how the other half live, rach
we enjoy hearty meals and company and listen to our friends when they tell us not to bring food because it's wasteful

as a side note, when I first wrote "rach" I actually wrote "rash"
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:12, Reply)

tasteful, not wasteful
i keep telling you man, the food was delicious.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:15, Reply)

that's how I read it
"i didn't do what they asked me to do and so I offended them and pissed them off as well"
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:58, Reply)

she wasn't seriously pissed off, she was only joking
i am a GOOD guest, i bring delicious food.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 11:59, Reply)

...that they don't want and won't eat...

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:02, Reply)

..... lies. it was delicious food.
she had told me she was just doing a poached salmon and trimmings, so i augmented it well.

it might be a bit odd, but i can't ever go to see a friend at home without taking something. i like it best if they have a dog, then i can buy treats and toys for the dog.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:11, Reply)

"I can't go round to someone elses house without demonstrating that I am capable of purchasing expensive food or gifts, despite the fact that I am requested not to"

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:16, Reply)

a pot of houmous or a packet of dog chews is your idea of "expensive"?
fair enough.

only clients get fancy tarts. friends have to make do.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:22, Reply)

*HIGH FIVES*

(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Oct 2011, 12:00, Reply)