my mate's friend worked in a sperm bank (the same one that wouldn't accept ginger donors)
and she stole her new bf's sperm (shoved it in a camera film case) to check if he was fertile. he was, and so she carried on dating him, and now they are married with a kid.

but he still has no idea. i think this is pretty low, myself.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:42, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

borderline stalking

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:46, Reply)

If I ever discovered a woman had done that to me
I'd be appalled and would probably end up leaving her.
( Kroney, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:47, Reply)

it gets worse, actually
she hasn't worked since getting up the duff. she expects him to pay for everything, which he does. and she hasn't slept with him since she got pregnant. the child is now 3.

it makes my head explode with rage.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I imagine it probably makes his balls explode, if she hasn't slept with him in three years.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Your friend is a fucking sociopath.

( Kroney, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:51, Reply)

not my friend
my mate's friend.

if she wants a second kid, then she'll have to do something about it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Isn't your mate's friend..... you?
Or do you know someone with more than one friend?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:53, Reply)

haha!
definitely not me. i do not have a 3 year old child or a husband. even i would have remembered that!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Are you really a trucker called Dave?
I'm reliebly informed that most 'women' on the internet are truckers called Dave.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:56, Reply)

steve!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:59, Reply)

He's probably cheating on her.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:52, Reply)

she suspects this may well be the case
but doesn't care - she has a fancy house, nice car, baby. she is happy.

it boggles my brain.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Wilmslow?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:55, Reply)

no, she went of her own accord.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:55, Reply)

WITH A SPOON!!!!!11!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Haha

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:59, Reply)

nah
they live in scandy now.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 12:04, Reply)

or gay.
or both.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:54, Reply)

you and your gay obsession
not everyone is gay, sweetheart.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I would be prepared to bet that if he hasn't had so much as a cheeky nosh off her
in 3 years, and he isn't cheating, then he's gay.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I'd smack her about a bit first.
And be completely within my rights.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Are your lefts not as good?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:53, Reply)

The right uppercut is a knockout.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:56, Reply)

How did she steal it?
Wipe it off her norks when he wasn't looking?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:48, Reply)

i think it was more pretending to swallow
and then spitting it into a handy container
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:49, Reply)

if she did that it wouldn't work.
proteolitic enzymes in saliva, innit? I assume she just waited for it to leak out.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:51, Reply)

oh maybe
or scraped it off the bed or something. i remember being told that they were slow, after a night in the cold, but still moving, so she knew there was a good chance he was super fertile.

which he was.

much good it did him.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:52, Reply)

To be honest I would give pretty much any woman that asked
a sperm sample as long as they extracted it.

I wouldn't even ask what they wanted it for.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 3 Nov 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Here ya go.
media3.picsearch.com/is?UkX0l1pzNSmx8TVyTI3K8DhBLcbPCdSlFim2i7w_liI
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 3 Nov 2011, 12:02, Reply)