I am not very well
The barman at uni doesn't know what the contents of the pitchers they serve should be, so the one he made for me contained over a pint of pure spirits and tasted disturbingly medicinal. I ended up the most drunk I've ever been for £5.

He then made himself two more, came round to the other side of the bar (he had just got off his shift) and we started in on those as well. Things get hazy after that, but I remember teaching a very short and attractive spanish girl how to play pool, and apparently I have agreed to go swimming at 5pm today with somebody I've only met once before.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 8:40, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Male or female? (swimming)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 8:41, Reply)

Female
And fairly good looking.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Nice!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 8:45, Reply)

There was mention of a sauna afterwards
I don't know what it is - I've had more luck with women in the last couple of months than in the 21 previous years. Maybe it's the weight loss.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 8:47, Reply)

It's good to go through periods of that
Just don't be too surprised if it ends in a hurry.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 8:50, Reply)

You know what really impresses 'chicks', right?
If you spew up off the 'top board' and then do a massive stinger belly-flop into the spew.

Instant wide-on, I'm telling ya.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 8:43, Reply)

I have never been off a top board
All my training was in shallow diving. I still have the certificate that allows me to dive into the shallow end in competitions.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Ah but can you rescue a rubber brick, in your pyjamas? EH?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 8:49, Reply)

^ Important life skills here ^
I don't know where I'd be if I hadn't learned how to do that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Yes. Yes I can.
I can also swim through a hoop, UNDERWATER.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:26, Reply)

I don't think I would want a partner to get a wide-on, it would be better if their minge-cringing, that way I'd get to touch both sides.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 9:10, Reply)