i just did this, beat this for shitness. it was so shit i even put it on the tactless /qotw.
but for double beakering points, i repeat: my colleague was trying to get me enthused about my birthday on fri. she was pointing out that i am having 3 different sets of drinks and i was getting more and more glum. then i brightened up - at least i can bring cakes in.

"what kind of cake do you like best?" she said. i then went off one about how i don't really like cake that much, i like biscuits or chocolates or sometimes a crappy mr kipling slice but not homemade cakes because you never know quite what someone has done with them or what their hygiene standards are like. when i finished, she looked at me, and said:

"because i was going to make one for you, but i guess i won't now!"

urrrgh, i'm so fucking rude!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:52, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Did you wash your hands after you spoke to her?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

hahahaha!
Cake fail
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

regardless of their hygenie the thing will be baked at 200 degrees that will kill any bacteris!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:54, Reply)

yeah
and when they come to ice it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Semen is sterile dontchaknow

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:56, Reply)

really?
do you mean urine?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:58, Reply)

i wasn't really aiming for scientific acuracy ; )

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:59, Reply)

It's quite difficult to aim that stuff anyway
You'd probably manage to get most of it onto the cake though...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:01, Reply)

scientific grammatical
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:02, Reply)

And good for your skin
Just look at me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:59, Reply)

You have issues

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I love how people with no knowledge whatsoever of infection or bacteria
can profess to being worried about the hygiene of a piece of baking.

particularly when they a)live in london and b)breathe.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)

exactly, and it's good for you to ingest some 'bad' bacteria, helps build the immune system

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:01, Reply)

You'd genuinely struggle to avoid ingesting billions of good or bad bacteria per day.
Unless you stopped breathing, drinking and eating.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:02, Reply)

if you had been there for the hairy flapjack incident
you would be scarred too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Hairy flapjack is a fantastic euphemism for minge

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:02, Reply)

a hair? it's dead, woman.
it's protein.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:03, Reply)

when it comes from your friend's massive slobbering dog?????
urgh!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:03, Reply)

extra protein ;)

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Massive slobbering dog is also a fantastic euphemism for minge

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:06, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I love the fact that you think mass-produce cake has somehow got a higher hygiene standard
than home-made of any kind.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Haha, if she ever went into a food manufacturers she'd never eat again

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 10:59, Reply)

This, I suspect, is very much true.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)

what a long-winded way to tell me you love me

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)

He loves you, but he is a walking bacteria factory
so sadly it can never be.

Oh and he's married.
And lives in Scotland.
And doesn't really love you, but apart from all that...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:02, Reply)

it's the first bit that's the real problem
imagine all the germs on his hockey stick.

shudder.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Is that a public school euphemism for cock?

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I've no idea.
if it was, that would explain a lot.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 9 Nov 2011, 11:07, Reply)