I'm going to a Stag do.
It's in central london and I have exactly £160 to spend. It should be doable.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:33, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

How many of you are going?
You'll need to get a menu off a hooker in advance and create a spreadsheet to determine which of services is a feasible expense when divided by the number of participants.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Alternatively, just take your own whipped cream.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Noel, is your 15" black rubber cock available for Chompy this weekend?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Or they could just go to Browns like everyone else

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Grim.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

I'm not familiar with this establishment
If it's a venue of dubious virtue it's chosen a terrible fucking name for itself
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Shite strip joint, just like every other shite strip joint

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:45, Reply)

Ugh
Only ever been to one, that was quite enough.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Was it Devils in Norwich?
A b3tan works there.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:46, Reply)

Fucking hell, that's a bit spooky
Yes it was, mate's stag do about three years back. Which b3tan?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:48, Reply)

The Baroness,
She's awesome, but no longer on here much, I think she moved on to twitter.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Oh, I thought you meant behind the bar!
So I may have inadvertantly seen a b3tan flashing her bits. How about that.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:50, Reply)

Who hasn't

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:51, Reply)

Good point
Well made
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Gonz.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Nah, he lived with TGB for ages
there is no way she hasn't accidently got naked in front of him at some point.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I suspect she would have been too scared.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:16, Reply)

You are correct
I wore eight layers at all times
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:20, Reply)

That tear-off stuff they put on clean room floors and motorbike visors?
so if the top layer gets contaminated you can rip it off and still be safely clothed?

that actually sounds a bit harsh on Gonz. It's OK man, I love you really.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:22, Reply)

It was probably more Sexface she was scared of.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:23, Reply)

This is inevitably true.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:28, Reply)

hahhaha
I rarely saw sexface actually. Mainly because he didn't like the smoke so he hid in his room. You can all add what you think he was doing in there.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Building a 1:10,000 scale model of your vagina
I heard his room was only just big enough.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:30, Reply)

The idea of sexface sleeping in my vagina may have scarred me for life

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Oh my god I'm so sorry, how ever can I make it up to you.
I know, I'll organise a hot meat extravaganza. Will that do?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

*sniffs*
yes I think it will
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:38, Reply)

I thought you were talking about the chain of Irish bars.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:46, Reply)

I thought he ment the mid range restaurant chain...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:47, Reply)

You know what I fucking hate about Rory?
His lack of specificity.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Paul S (who is no way connected with the establishment) sums it up best
This bar is located in the ideal location. I was very impressed with my night here it has some of the nicest dancers I've seen.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I have been thrown out of Browns.
This is either a high or low point of my life, I'm not sure which.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:52, Reply)

You were trying to save one of them form their wrong turning in life weren't you?
Just cos they show you their gash for £20 doesn't mean they want to marry you.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:55, Reply)

the reason is slightly more unpleasant.
I was with a female friend and we'd gone in for a laugh. It wasn't very funny. We were pissed and she started dancing, and the bouncer said (slightly jokily) "love, you can't dance unless you get on stage" to which she responded "i'd be happy to strip but I don't think the punters want to see my fanny mouse" or words to that effect. Bouncer turned out not to have a sense of humour, who'da thunk it?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:00, Reply)

Were you physically thrown out or asked to leave?
If the former, which followed your karate-kicking three bouncers in the face with one fluid movement, and preceded you ram-raiding the club in a Honda Accord and driving off with several strippers, high point.

Latter, low point.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:02, Reply)

see above.
I'm a lover not a fighter.

Well, I'm mostly a drinker, to be honest.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Low point it is
Sorry Badger, I don't make the rules.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:06, Reply)

I don't care.
I was, bizarrely, covered in blood at the time - I had to keep my jacket buttoned up toi hide it - as I'd managed to glass myself earlier. A level of skill I think that it would take some effort to top.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:08, Reply)

I stand corrected, said the man in the orthopaedic shoes
That is indeed a salute-worthy level of skill
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 10:14, Reply)

How much can squat thrusts cost?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:37, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:37, Reply)

I think 17
And I won't be getting a hooker, and will dissuade anyone who suggests it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:40, Reply)

I meant for the groom
I assume there are enough popular blue drinks on sale in London for you to get lucky without resorting to such methods
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:41, Reply)

You don't honestly think that gettinga whore for teh stag is a good idea do you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Absolutely I do
Everything I say in this forum, in keeping with what I believe to be long-established and steadfast rules, is the god's honest truth.

You spanner.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:45, Reply)

you sounded sincerre...
why anyone would do that completely baffles me
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Why you would think I'd sound like a glass of white wine is what baffles me
(also: agreed. Ugh)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:54, Reply)

So they can get practice at disposing of bodies?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:54, Reply)

It's likely to be a marketable skill in a post-Cowell Britain

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Nah, that's a horrible thing to do.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:44, Reply)