Meh. Grammsie is spot on
Most people whine about Barclays, but I've been with them all my life and they've been great. I've got accounts with RBS and mostly they are OK, although they seemed to struggle somewhat with changing my wife's name on our joint account.

Swings and Milton Keynes, innit? Although it would help if Barclays had more than two branches in Scotland
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:14, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

The Barclays adverts annoy me

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:17, Reply)

In so far as they appear to be perpetuating the existence of Justin Lee Collins
I cannot agree more.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:19, Reply)

It's stecen m,erchant

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I thought it was Adam Buxton?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Is it? Shows how much I know.
I've no idea what he sounds like, thank fuck. It does sound like JLC though.

Did you have a seizure while typing that, by the way?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Stork actually, but I', fiome npow

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Is your head-dobber incorrectly fitted?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:53, Reply)

pardon?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:36, Reply)

my dad's branches used to get people trying to steal
the lifesize cut-outs of rowan atkinson when he was doing the barclaycard adverts. why? why would anyone want a lifesize rowan atkinson? what would you do with it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Oh come on.
I think you know the answer to this.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:20, Reply)

burn it?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:22, Reply)

something like that.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:25, Reply)

you can ride it like a pony if you want to, badge
nobody will judge you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I was thinking of putting it inside a mini
but , y'know, whatever floats your boat.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:32, Reply)

putting a mini inside it, more like
(it's funny because i'm saying you have a small cock. which wouldn't really float my boat)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:33, Reply)

If you could get a mini down the japs
I'd suggest it's probably quite sizeable.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:43, Reply)

sigh
i will type this slowly, to help you read it more carefully.

"putting a mini inside it more like" means that YOU would be putting YOUR MINI (aka your cock) inside the ROWAN ATKINSON CUT-OUT. not parallel parking the mini inside your japseye. it is funny because it implies that you want to have bumlove with a cardboard rowan atkinson.

at times like this, i am reminded of why you don't adduce evidence from the person who drafted a clause in a contract when you dispute it. because the court considers what you actually produced and not what you might have meant to produce.


( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:47, Reply)

yes, dear.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:49, Reply)

*feels miffed and patronised*
*puts the mighty twat on ignore*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 11:50, Reply)

awww.
you're cute when you're sulking.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:01, Reply)

sorry, did someone say something?
no?

as you were...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I am.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:12, Reply)

oh em gee, thank you
that grovelling gaz was so sweet that i am going to break the law and post it here:

dear beautiful and fiercely intelligent swipe

please please please forgive me. it was just a tiny attempt at humour. i can now see that it has backfired, and i am beyond sorry. the prospect of never hearing from you again is making my wrists jump onto my stapler and try to slit themselves.

yours in loving penitence,

badge xxxxx

i might have to forgive you after that...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Do you know, that's pretty close to the one I considered
and then didn't send? Except the stapler bit. I'm at home ill.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:20, Reply)

argh
betrayed by my own lack of attention to detail.

what's wrong with you? are you really sick, or are you being a hairy-backed mary??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Honestly? I dunno.
My temperature is all over the shop so consequently I haven't really slept since thursday.

that's not really condusive to work. Or driving to work, even.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:26, Reply)

oh dear
not knowing is stressful, even though it's prob something v minor.

get yourself to the doctors man, before i have to start being NICE to you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:27, Reply)

meh, it's only some sort of viral thing
so no point.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:42, Reply)

do i have to be nice to you for that?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:52, Reply)

At my last job, I was in a bit of a funny way, had to much on my mind, and someone offered me an A0 printer and then asked me what I'd do with it.
I couldn't think so I said I'd make full life size copies of me, 100s of them, all in different persitions, I'd then put them up all over a tube carridge so when it pulls into the station, people will think the carridge is full of the same people, in the mean time, I'll then have the caridge all to myself and my clones. If they tried to arrest me, I'd just stand really really still and they won't know what one to arrest.

This got the most weirdest looks I've ever seen, complete deadpan, I don't even know why I said it. After about 20 seconds of stunned sillance, I went "Or something like that.... maybe a bus". And then everyone just walked away.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:28, Reply)

All aboard the Gonz Train.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Dec 2011, 12:30, Reply)