my american flatmate fancies him. i don't get it.
i never eat breakfast normally, but the healthy eating detox is forcing me to. so porridge this morning. fucking rank shit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:40, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I don't his "wife" even fancies him

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)

You must be doing porridge wrong.
It is full of awesome.

Guards, make her watch all of Lost.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:44, Reply)

That consitutes cruel and unusal punishment.
Carry on.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

c g
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)

very good.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

not when it's shitty meal replacement porridge packets it isn't
shudder
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Fuck that, make real porridge.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)

oh fuck
i hate clicking "i like this" by mistake. i would never click for porridge.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

oi rachelswipe, your a woman
what should i get sasha for a leaving present?

it ahs to be classy and sophisticated like her, and say 'thanks for all your hard work and help, apols for the dry humping and all the best'?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)

A bra. Woman seem to like them.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)

they've all got tehm haven't they?
i like this logic
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)

*logic fives*

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)

a full private GUM screening sounds best.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

she's had five kids, so I was thinking like some of that cavity insulation so she can retighten her flange?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)

good thinking.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)

i don't know
i've never bought a present for a fictitious colleague before.

tesco vouchers say you truly mean it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)

she isn't fictitious, she's really nice
loveliest blues eyes i ever saw, pretty sure they can't be natural

there isn't a tesco anywhere near here, try again
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

No tesco near by?
Where do you live, Inner Mongolia?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)

princes street in edingborough

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Just a short helicopter ride to Peebles.
I'm sure they have one.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)

ah fuck, the choppers in the garge at the mo
needs new skis cos i got blancmange on the old ones
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

He lives in St John's Scottish Episcopal Church
on the junction of Princes St and Lothain Road, apparently.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)

i am scottish jesus

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)

The place where they knit their own yoghurt?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)

well as you've basically shoved her out onto the street without a job
she will need to feed her kids. therefore tesco vouchers. every little helps.

if only you could get them and use them to buy stuff online, eh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)

nah kev extended her probation and she found a better job
can you buy tesco vouchers online? i don't think they're a very thoughtful present but its a nice idea
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)

darling, how the blue fuck would i know?
i shop at harrods. harvey nicks at a push.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

i prefer harvey nicks to harrods
there, i said it

harrods is like a fucken jumble sale, its Primark for the rich
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)

don't feel bad
lots of people don't get let in to harrods.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Harrods is shit, it is for tourists and numpties and has all the class of a tequila fueled pile of street vomit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)

correct
however, the food hall is good. and i get my make-up from there, but online.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Selfridges food hall is where it's at.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:19, Reply)

i actually prefer whole foods to any of them
i like the fact that everything is so fresh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Fancies Ed Miliband?
Oh dear!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)

not just that.
Fancies Milliband and is a septic.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

she's infuriatingly hot though
you totally would
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)

I probably wouldn't
had a thing with a New Joisey girl years ago. The dirty talking and the noisy orgasms in that accent has done terrible, deep-seated psychological damage that no amount of therapy can possibly help with.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)

i think you'd have ended up with a pink sock fetish anyway, myself
anyway, that's what ball-gags are for.

also, the noisier the orgasm, the more likely it is to be fake...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Joisey girls never fucking shut up, so this rule probably doesn't apply.
Also, you are aware that most men can tell, right?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)

i am aware that most men think they can tell, yes

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)

my girlfirend goes into involuntary muscle spasms that are so strong they sometimes push me out

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)

+ of the front door
understandable
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)

I certainly doubt they're involuntary either

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:20, Reply)

i don't know why your all so mean i'm just being part of the conversation
when shes on top its the worst, she just forces it out like dead hard and quick, but if i'm on top i can keep ramming it in
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:22, Reply)

That sounds quite a lot like an admission of rape there.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:24, Reply)

nah cos she's consenting so its an involuntary relflex where her vajo just tightens when she comes

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)

oh, we can tell.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)

sweetheart
just because the video is called "REAL orgasm" doesn't mean the webcamgirl isn't faking it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:20, Reply)

oh, that's quite a good comeback.
at least 8/10 and a smattering of golf applause. Very well played
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)

/smugs

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)

Oh I don't know
that kind of sounds like fun
( Kroney, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)

In fairness
she was dirtier than a Cornish tin-miners sock.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)

although, obviously we're discussing conquests
online .. so by the rules of the internet, none this is really true.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)