Where is everyone?
It's dead on here.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:10, 85 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

over here!
I got home and found my heating was working. This made me happy. I have a cold, though and feel like death
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:12, Reply)

You had a cold
The other day too. Painted anything Orange today?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:16, Reply)

no, I've been at work, may consider it later
I always seem to be ill at the moment, perhaps I should eat vegetables or fruit or something.

What's new in Jeff world?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:17, Reply)

Absolutely
Nothing new going on. I'm so bored, I'm gonna go to the gym.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:21, Reply)

this is turning into a habit
is it now becoming the thing to do more often than going to the pub? Once I've shifted this cold I want to go back to my gym, I currently feel like a blob of lard and snot
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:23, Reply)

I'm
Trying to go 3 times a week, some weeks it is a bit, other weeks a bit less.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:26, Reply)

good work
which is your favourite exercise machine?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:30, Reply)

I don't have a favourite
I hate them all equally.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:47, Reply)

sup

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:17, Reply)

Nothing
I'm dead tired though.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:19, Reply)

yo jeff

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:34, Reply)

Yo, Krizzle.
News?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:47, Reply)

None
You?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:55, Reply)

Nothing.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:04, Reply)

On a video chat with my folks
My brother-in-law to-be has just materialized and looks so much like Bobby that I'm suddenly afraid
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:34, Reply)

again?
What kind of family wants to communicate more than once a week?

haha - you are related to Bobby
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:35, Reply)

Well, it's exactly once a week
plus all the texts from my Mum, obv. I'm not related to him YET
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:41, Reply)

Everyone is dead
you insensitive coot.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:40, Reply)

We knew you were on your way

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:42, Reply)

Meh
Any news?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:49, Reply)

Seeing them at 10am tomorrow

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:01, Reply)

Send me a text afterwards
And let me know how it goes.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:05, Reply)

Will do

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:08, Reply)

Oh bugger. I've got to go to Sheffield tomorrow, for work.
Expect a foot of snow in the morning, people.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:42, Reply)

I catch your drift.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:48, Reply)

oh great
now we can expect a flurry of puns
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:50, Reply)

We won't settle for anything less.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:51, Reply)

I thought jeff would have more by now
he must be getting flakey
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:54, Reply)

Stuffing their grubby chubby faces with food I imagine.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:45, Reply)

I can do both you know.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 18:47, Reply)

I've been on the quend all day.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:03, Reply)

BAU
then.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:06, Reply)

I wore my Paul Smith tie today.
Still can't find my Paul Smith cufflinks though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:10, Reply)

Recovering.
I did go to Waitrose though. The gash on my leg won't stop bleeding.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:13, Reply)

lol you said gash.
Have you read Cock & Bull by Will Self? Sums up your predicament admirably.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:18, Reply)

No cos I hate Will Self an unfathomable amount.
What's it about?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:22, Reply)

Cock is about a woman who grows a cock and rapes her husband.
Bull is about a man who grows a vagina behind his knee and gets seduced by his GP.

How come you no like Will Self? He's a very funny, very good author.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:23, Reply)

Up his own arse 'look at me I'm so intellectual' prick.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:34, Reply)

Him or me?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:35, Reply)

I think we need to establish if Will likes Fruitellas.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:38, Reply)

I know for a fact that he does.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:44, Reply)

So you could be Will....

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:44, Reply)

Bloody awful book

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:29, Reply)

No it's not.
I loved My Idea of Fun as well.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:32, Reply)

Evening Jeff
I just made myself a lovely pizza, the rest of my wine order has arrived, my old house is nearly ready to sell and I've been looking at flats to buy. There's a very real possibility I can buy one either outright or with a tiny mortgage which makes me very excited. Woo!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:34, Reply)

Woo! Go Lighty.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:38, Reply)

Ooh!
www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/15641182?featured=1&utm_content=featured_listing
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:41, Reply)

Yo yo yo YO!
An' ting.

Wagwan bredren?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:36, Reply)

Any news?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:38, Reply)

Not yet.
You will be the ... *counts* .... fourth or fifth to know.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:38, Reply)

Ooh. 4th or 5th!
That's pretty good. Who beats me in the new sharing department?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:39, Reply)

I'm afraid that's on a need to know basis.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:43, Reply)

Well I want to see how important I am.
So I need to know.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:43, Reply)

Husband
Parents
Siblings
Best mate
CV consultant.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:46, Reply)

Since when did you have a 'best mate!!'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:46, Reply)

It's code

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:48, Reply)

It's bent.
That's what it is.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:49, Reply)

*pouts*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:50, Reply)

Best mate Imaginary friend
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:48, Reply)

^this, also.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:49, Reply)

At the moment I am stabbing women who talk / write in fake patois.
Later I shall cook, drink beer and prepare for an interview tomorrow.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:39, Reply)

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:45, Reply)

'Talk to the hand'

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:46, Reply)

because the face is hideous

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:55, Reply)

sorry

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:55, Reply)

Oh no you didn't!
*plots revenge*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:56, Reply)

Ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:56, Reply)

And you, pal.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:59, Reply)

Talk to the elbow 'cus you ain't worth the extension.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:16, Reply)

I have six new books to devour so see ya later people.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 19:59, Reply)

I didn't realise they were making more Mr Men books

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:01, Reply)

ppffffft
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:03, Reply)

I started a tumblr blog for all my spellings'n'stuff.
wordsbygonz.tumblr.com/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Really?
You should have said so.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:00, Reply)

Tee Hee, I've only posted it the once on FB, in case anyone here isn't on FB.
How are you doing my darling? What's crackalacking?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:04, Reply)

Everyone is being mean to me

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:07, Reply)

shut up snitch

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:07, Reply)

Don't you have books to read?
Or don't you care what happens to the very hungry caterpillar?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:08, Reply)

he got fat
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:10, Reply)

*resists comment*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:12, Reply)

Wait, what? why would anyone do such a thing? I don't possibly see what they hope to achieve.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:15, Reply)

Jeff and Battered don't want me to have a best mate
and Bobby called me ugly.

*cries*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jan 2012, 20:26, Reply)

Gym.
DONE.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 21:38, Reply)

good work
I'm off to try and work the shower. I don't have a great history with showers, they are always to hot, too cold or just plain awkward. Wish me luck
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 21:46, Reply)

Good luck.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jan 2012, 21:53, Reply)