WEEKEND THREAD. Who's doing what? to whom? why? and where?
Alt: most pointless musical instrument?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:40, 135 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I am out tonight, out tomorrow night
and then helping the parents shift furniture on Sunday.

Alt: The Serpent.
( Kroney, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:42, Reply)

in your condition? type 99 into your phone just to be sure ok.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:44, Reply)

My vision's gone all funny, bobby.

( Kroney, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Did you accept a drink from Swipe?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:48, Reply)

She's always Rohypnol-ing me Al

( Kroney, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:51, Reply)

Sit down, take deep breaths and rub something soft.

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:49, Reply)

Last time I did that, the bitch reported me to HR

( Kroney, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Tonight, a girl is bringing me food and booze after work then going to a party
Tomorrow I'm shopping and houseworking like a boss,
Sunday I'm going for breakfast with some mates and then another girl is coming to stay for a few days.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:42, Reply)

PLAYA
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:43, Reply)

Needless to say I'll have the last laugh.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:44, Reply)

have you read/listened to I Partridge yet?
It is superb I think, his recollection of the lunch meeting with Tony Hayers is pant wettingly funny.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:46, Reply)

I haven't, but I'd like to.
I think my housemate got it for christmas so I'll nick it and bend the pages over.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:47, Reply)

I think you will like it.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:48, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1520961
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:43, Reply)

Daddy?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:44, Reply)

nope
soz
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:44, Reply)

I'll find him one day...
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:45, Reply)

where's your daddy gone?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:46, Reply)

I like Glasvegas too!

(adopted)
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:47, Reply)

oh right i was doing that other song
where's your mama gone?
(where's your daddy gone?)
Where's your mama gone?
(where's your daddy gone?)

dunno who it's by tho
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:49, Reply)

no idea dude, I'll have a think when I finish my cry mmmmkay.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:51, Reply)

it was kinda rock n roll-y and that was just the choprus
i cant remember the rest
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:52, Reply)

google says chirpy chirpy cheep cheep

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:54, Reply)

hoover.
Yes, there has been a peice of orchestral music written for the hoover.

The hoover isn't pointless as such, in fact it's very handy for cleaning things. It should be confinded to this activity though.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:46, Reply)

And sex, so medical staff can have amusing anecdotes.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:56, Reply)

ah, there's a story here. Go on, do share.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:00, Reply)

Alt: Surely there are no pointless musical instruments?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:47, Reply)

Tambourines don't have any points

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:49, Reply)

Oh I see what you did there

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:49, Reply)

And yet...
*ENORMOUS PICTURE OF A STAR-SHAPED TAMBOURINE*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:56, Reply)

I think this perfectly illustrates everything that is wrong with capitalism.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:58, Reply)

Stupid capitalists make images too big

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:00, Reply)

Yeah!



( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:06, Reply)

I thought it was spelling out a word.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:08, Reply)

Ah, that takes me back.
Cheers Shambo
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:09, Reply)

Is one of them different somehow?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:10, Reply)

You have to find Wally.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:13, Reply)

Yup.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:15, Reply)

you racist cunt making jokes about asian people looking the same
worse than noel you, who was worse than hitler
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:15, Reply)

The one bottom left looks like a penis with a badly drawn face on it.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:17, Reply)

the guy fourth from the right isn't looking the right way
and is about 11
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:17, Reply)

I reckon each row is just one bloke carrying a bunch of badly-made dolls on poles.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:22, Reply)

CHINA DOLLS
hahahhahaaaahahaha
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:30, Reply)

I thought they were Korean.
I can't tell the difference.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:33, Reply)

ALL THE SAME

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:33, Reply)

FLUK YU

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:40, Reply)

What stops all the jangles from falling out?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:55, Reply)

"sex" "your mum" "because I can" "in her baggy urethra"

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Alt: Blowing across the vast aperture of her minge like it's an empty milk bottle

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:10, Reply)

bottle float
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:16, Reply)

hoooooooo

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:16, Reply)

Tonight: seeing my daughter. I cannot wait.
Tomorrow morning: lolz with daughter.
Tomorrow afternoon: my pal is coming over, who works for Universal Music: last visit I had, he gave me £200 of 180g de luxe reissue LPs *crosses fingers*. He also has some 'Amnesia Haze' which is twenty quid a fucking gram and thus is either the best pot in the known universe or an epic ripoff
Sunday I'm off to The Approach in Bethnal Green for the best roast dinner in the area, with Lusty's ex colleagues and HimJim off of that there internet.

Why? BECAUSE WE WANT TO! BECAUSE WE WANT TO!

Alt: Ann Frank's drumkit
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:23, Reply)

I object to this "amnesia haze" purely on the grounds of linguistic redundancy.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:30, Reply)

In my day we had 'hash' or we had 'grass'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:31, Reply)

In my day we had all sorts of pretentious nicknames for it because if we referred to it in that way
there was no way our parents could possibly guess what we were talking about.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:32, Reply)

You need to do something else, Monters.
I'm only about 38 b3ta days older than you, but it looks like you've posted about 300% more answers than I have.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:35, Reply)

What's more, you don't 'answer' anything.
You just whine a lot.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:35, Reply)

FACK ORF.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:40, Reply)

YEAH!
Fackin' Do 'im BFF! Knock 'is block off!
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:41, Reply)

I might stick a rib in his ribs.

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:42, Reply)

YEAH!
Let's make him sit next to Gonz.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:43, Reply)

And so the debate is finally closed!

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:47, Reply)

WOOHOO!
We'll kidnap lusty down the other end of the table too.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Ha-ha - Monty covered in sauce.
Mmm...Lusty covered in sauce.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:52, Reply)

Mmmmm ... Sauce.
I can't wait until tuesday.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:56, Reply)

It doesn't take long to type "x... is fucking shit"

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:36, Reply)

Even with the shakes.

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:37, Reply)

I have to type with one eye shut so I can focus.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:40, Reply)

Isn't £20 a gram really cheap? I'm sure my mates used to buy 1/8ths for like £10-20 or something like that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:36, Reply)

An 1/8th is more than a gram

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:36, Reply)

Oh, I thought it was 1/8th of a gram.
I did always wonder how you could get a whole bag and it only equal an 8th of a gram.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:42, Reply)

1/8 of an oz.
That makes my pal's stuff £70 an 1/8 which makes it more expensive than cocaine. And it will have been grown in the UK.

This is insanity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:44, Reply)

This also means the cocaine you're buying is 80% novocaine and Ajax.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:51, Reply)

No it doesn't.
I pay £60 for .6 and this is because my 'chap' is a wholesaler who is a schoolfriend. £10 a point is the going rate for top end.

This is an area I know a *teeny* bit about, honestly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:59, Reply)

Bollocks you don't have a clue.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:01, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:02, Reply)

More likely benzocaine and manitol for pub gear anyway.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:01, Reply)

you clod

(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:37, Reply)

An eighth is 3.5g

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Oh, ok.
Why would you only want a gram then? isn't that like a single joint between the two of you?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:44, Reply)

It's a few joints, especially if it's as strong as all that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Approximately 3 joints per gram. Depending on several factors.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:57, Reply)

There is a gay couple on Jeremy Kyle who just found out they're seporated-at-birth step brothers.
lol.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:34, Reply)

Eh?
Seporated at birth? What, step brothers who are twins?
Elaborate. Now.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:36, Reply)

Two blokes, started dating and fucking and all that.
And then something happened, maybe they saw some family photos or something, and they got on Jeremy Kyle for a DNA test, and it turns out they're step-brothers. Same Dad I think.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:41, Reply)

thats half brothers
step is if there not related at all

OMG YOU IDIOT

EDIt oh shit i thought you were superfly, sorry no offence other person DAMMIT
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:41, Reply)

I'm not gonna lie to you Quintin, I think you're right here.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:43, Reply)

sorry someone else for a while, i keep thinken your that other boy

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:43, Reply)

It's all good in the hood dude.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Particularly the IDIOT bit.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:43, Reply)

thats uncalled for mate, put a donk on it yeah

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:44, Reply)

This is some awful anti-semitic slur, isn't it?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:48, Reply)

NO JEWS

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Half brothers.
Dipshit.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:43, Reply)

Oh, that's OK then, they can continue fucking.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:45, Reply)

I don't really see the problem with it, gonz.
They weren't raised together and there's no issue of close-relation breeding.

If the dad wants to join in then it gets a bit bow chicka bow bow but other than that it's a non issue.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:47, Reply)

I would love to see some republican american head spin when you get him to admit that homosexuality agmonst half-brothers/sisters isn't any worst than homosexuality fall-stop.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Full Stop or Fall Stop?
What one is it?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Semi colon.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:50, Reply)

Gonz doesn't like talk about colons.

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:50, Reply)

You don't know the half of it mate, about 30 inches in total.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:53, Reply)

TG said I should send you abuse.

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:53, Reply)

TG?

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:56, Reply)

I only have an IRL name, so Gonz will just have to work it out.

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:57, Reply)

Towel?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:59, Reply)

Oh yeh! I forgot she does have a not IRL name thanks to you!

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:59, Reply)

=D
How about I get my cooking-on for us next month? I'm gonna have a word with the bloke from Wicks on sunday, see if we can sort myself out a new kitchen.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:05, Reply)

Yeh, get your new kitchen and then I'll come up to visit.
Soon June will be here, and then I will be too far away.
( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Oh sorry, I get it.
Is she alright?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:59, Reply)

Yes. Still mental.

( thealternativefact, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:59, Reply)

Cool.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Period

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Oh man their kids will be deformed!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:37, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:42, Reply)

twelve-fingered bum babies
:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:44, Reply)

i'd totally fuck my brother tho
he's a damn good looking badass and when i was growing up he hardly gave me any chinese burns
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Wouldn't your sister be well jell?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:48, Reply)

he might do us both, his birthday is coming up

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:50, Reply)

My favourite band.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:51, Reply)

i don't understand

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Shhhhh, it's okay Quints, it's okay.

( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:42, Reply)

i was just mean to someone cos i thought it was you

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:43, Reply)

Why were you trying to be mean to me?
Honestly, I've stuck for you from day one, and this is how you repay me?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:46, Reply)

cameradery

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Yay, I love a good sTory pun.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:48, Reply)

I'm imagining the scene in Green Mile when the big black fella is crying going "Dey only hurt the ones they love".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:47, Reply)

I've not seen it
I really don't like Tom Hanks.
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:51, Reply)

he was good in To(r)y S-Tory

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:54, Reply)

I heard they liked fucking with the DWP.... Double Willy Penitration.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:58, Reply)

haha!
WHAT
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 15:59, Reply)

I find it weird that sometimes both guys put their willies in the same hole
because although you are shagging a bird, you're also rubbing your willy on another guys willy, which you wouldn't do normally would you?
( Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:00, Reply)

they're very open minded i guess

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Me too, I think I would have trouble.
I wonder if ever when you got one in the willy and one in the bum, and they're really big, like black people, if they can ever feel eachother inside.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Sometimes they go all the way through and meet in the gob.
It's true.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:11, Reply)

yeah they do, i remember linda lovelace saying so in a documentery

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 3 Feb 2012, 16:13, Reply)