i went to a burlesque drawing event (dr sketchy)
which was great fun. AND i won second prize (there were prob about 75-100 people there).

who knew i had such a talent for drawing nearly naked women, eh?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:54, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

women + using my head dobber , eh?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:56, Reply)

You forgot this <s></s>

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:58, Reply)

That's something we have in common.
Although I don't like to show anyone my art.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

way to fill the void in your life on valentines there, you go girl

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

says the man who got divorced by his first bird
and now clings like a lovesick puppy to the second, panting ONLINE about his terror of being alone every two minutes?

smooth.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:01, Reply)

haha waht? my wife died in a car accident you insensitive git
not really, imagine if that were true, omg i bet you'd have felt bad there for a minute
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)

as if
i'd have thanked god that it happened before you could breed. i mean, she was stupid enough to marry you. so her genes weren't worth passing on.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)

totally harsh dude
no need to get twisted cos no-ones ever loved you enough
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:09, Reply)

enough to divorce me?
sweet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:09, Reply)

I'M GETTING VERY ANGRY THAT I'M ARGUING WITHA A RETARD

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:10, Reply)

that says much more about you than it does about me
look, i've seen your pic. i know you're just glad you found one woman to sleep with you, even if she did then get bored with you and divorce you.

of course, i am still worried about what you did to her guide dog.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Who do you think sasha is? Woof

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:14, Reply)

dunno
possibly a work of fiction made up by a burger-flipping spastic in an effort to pretend he has a real job.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

i'm not doing this anymore, i don't like playing with you
your not very good at it and its upsetting me
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:21, Reply)

is that what your wife said when she divorced you?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:26, Reply)

:(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)

i was quite pleased with that ZING

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)

oh fer fucks sake

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

A whole minute?
I doubt it.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)

well i doubt you'd have been counting but yeah maybe just a sec or two, amybe more i dunno
i've never seen a physical representation of rachelswipe's moral compass
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Who knew that plain fat middle class women were so desperate for attention that being a crap stripper isn't enough and they have to pretend to be a life model to shit artists too.
If that's not a sign of a healthy society then I don't know what is.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Baroness Warsi?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:59, Reply)

I find her disturbingly attractive
for a barely-coherent reactionary token brown person.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)

It's an Ann Coulter thing.
She's probably repressing years of sexual filth and she'd almost certainly go like a belt sander.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I think I could only do either of them in the arse.
You've got to have standards.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

well, of course.
you'd have to Dutch Steamboat both of them.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:09, Reply)

I had an Ann Coulter doll once.
True Story.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

"had"?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:09, Reply)

in the end it looked like a plasterer's radio.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Threw it away.
It wasn't a sex doll. It was an actual dolly.

A yank friend of mine knew I thought she was a cunt and sent it to me.

EDIT: It used to spout reactionary drivel.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:13, Reply)

And you never wanked with it?
I smell a lie on the internet.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Did I say that?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

someone else on here said it was stripping for fat women
er. no. not these two anyway. i hate to admit it, but they were seriously hot. one of them had the tiniest waist i've ever seen. maybe they weren't real burlesque dancers if they were meant to be fat? not my area of expertise.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Real burlesque died out decades ago.
Taking your kit off isn't burlesque. It's stripping.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:03, Reply)

hmmmm
one of them had a thong and nipple tassels and stockings. ok, stripping. the other one had a fur coat on. i think she was cold.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Could she swing the tassles in different patterns?
I have a genuine admiration for women who can properly coordinate their knockers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:14, Reply)

no, she did not
she had to sit still, remember?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Pity.
It's about the only appealing thing about strippers until they start sticking amusing objects up themselves.

And you don't have to sit still for life drawing. Moving models are quite good exercise.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

steady, or I'll tell the lollipop story again
and lots of people got grimmed out by that. Although it's far from the most entertaining vaginal insertion I've seen.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:25, Reply)

bearing in mind
that 70 of the 75 were just there for a crafty behind-easel wank, it might not be quite as much of an achievement as you think, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:57, Reply)

ha
it was just a pub in islington, no easels.

darling, you shouldn't judge everyone else by your own standards.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:01, Reply)

woah, hang on. In a pub?
This is genius! The difference between this and some woman stripping in the back room of a seedy north london boozer is that a few of you have pencils? How much do you pay for this? I totally need to meet the marketing genius who thought of this.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:04, Reply)

ha! i have no idea - it started in new york a few years ago
and now they do it in london too. it was only £10 though, so i don't think they make too much money out of it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Eh?
They've been stripping in the back rooms of pubs for a lot longer than "a few years".
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:06, Reply)

especially in Islington.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

About ten years ago a mate did a tour of strip nights in london pubs
he'd found a newsgroup with full listings and was determined to do all of them. Bearing in mind that he is a proper filthy welsh scrubber, he managed about forty and then became too depressed to carry on. One that he took me along to the poor girl had to turn on a fluorescent bathroom strip light and press 'play' on a knackered ghetto blaster before getting her blart and bangers out. Grim grim grim.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:11, Reply)

i've only ever seen one stripper
at a party when i was at uni. the girl was about 1 year older than the birthday boy, and clearly doing it to pay rent or something depressing. her tits sagged at the age of 20, she had cellulite all over her arse, and the birthday boy was so baby-faced that it looked as if she were raping her own child.

it was seriously depressing!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:14, Reply)

But if you smear it with a micron-thin veneer of irony or pretend that it is "burlesque" then it magically becomes empowering.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:16, Reply)

serious answer is serious
i think for some women it probably is. the two girls last night were early 20's, both had amazing bodies, and were clearly happy to be marauding round the pub showing them off. but most of my friends, even the ones with spectacular figures, wouldn't do it for anything!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

in this case, "clearly happy" almost certainly equals "skull-crushingly insecure" you realise?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:21, Reply)

i wouldn't judge them unless i knew them
and why they did it.

i am surprised at you, darling. very shocked and surprised.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:25, Reply)

what, in assuming that a large majority of women that claim that stripping is "empowering"
are actually massively insecure? I thought that was pretty much universally accepted.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)

oh i don't know
i've never really paid any attention to the empowerment thing. to me, if you want to get your kit off, do it. if you want to keep it on, do it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Right. But my question was about what distinguishes those well-to-do girls from the working class girls who've been puckering their twats at punters in seedy pubs for the last fifty years?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:22, Reply)

watching fat tattoed chavs push their unwilling 16 year old sons
through doors in the Amsterdam red light district is considerably more depressing for humanity in general, believe me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

right of passage innit

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

surely a right of passage would be to let the poor fucker actually pull someone
rather than being scarred for life thinking sex is some dull mechanical thing with some cold, glazed-eyed machine?

bonus points for a "like your mum?" line here.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:23, Reply)

minus points for spelling
"rite of passage"

i think a "right of passage" is what you pay for in those places...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)

I was just copying stunned, miss.
s'not my fault.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Quite rite.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Hahaha.
Been there. Done that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

I saw your mum in Ye Old Axe on Hackney Rd last night.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:18, Reply)

No one cares about your new part time job as jizz mopper upper.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

Yeah ... it isn't good, is it?
I ended up in one round the back of Kings Cross after an afternoon in the Church .. it might have been called the Eagle but I was about 12 red stripe down so fuck knows. Even then it was horrible, with extra surreal points for it being sunday and daylight outside in October. Still, y'know. Served beer.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

I'm a big fan of vagina
but faced with one that's been basted with cheap coconut butter and presented on a blanket on a pool table surrounded by woodbine-scented navvies it suddenly becomes less than arousing.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

never a truer word spoken.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

although woodbines GMTRFH.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:24, Reply)

They are my favourite.
It's real, none of this stage malarkey.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

No. See. If it was "real" then you'd be enjoying the view in the early stages of having sex with somebody.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:23, Reply)

What?
By that rationale the only sexual transactions we can have as human beings are ones we are actually involved in? Which, blatantly, isn't the case.

What is it, if it's not "real"?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:37, Reply)

They are depressing and unpleasant places without exception.

I know this because I have been to all of them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:16, Reply)

And did they collect the "drawing" fee by wandering around collecting pound coins in a pint pot?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:06, Reply)

"contributions for the lass, c'mon"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

*tenbellslols*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 10:08, Reply)