I think the Olympics are fantastic and I'm glad they are here and piss on anyone who disagrees because there's absolutely fuck all that you can do about it anyway, so you may as well shut up and not be so miserable about it.

Although that's not what I came here to say, i just popped in to offer some advice:

Do NOT, under any circumstances, even by email and following on from a comment that the other person themselves has already made, tell your pregnant friend that she is 'the size of a small village'.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:29, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

also avoid the phrase 'own gravitational field'

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:31, Reply)

I disagree
Pregnant women love it when you tell them how fat they are.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:31, Reply)

its the non preganant wones who look pregnant you need to look out for
they get slappy
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:32, Reply)

My mrs had a cold when she was pregnant.
She said she was a little hoarse.
I said "No you're not, you're a fat cow"
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)

hahaha, excellent

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Fucking Hell, it's Les Dawson.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:35, Reply)

I play the piano badly too

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:36, Reply)

He was ace on Blankety Blank.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Haha
That just reminds me of this
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Haha excellent

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:45, Reply)

You'd think I'd know better really. Earlier on she'd said 'I haven't really been out much the last couple of weeks because I appear to be carrying the world's largest baby inside me', so I thought it was OK to joke about. I realise now, of course, that it is OK for HER to joke about.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Tell the fat cow to stop being so sensitive
It's not like she is less attractive than at any other time in her life, massively uncomfortable, sleep deprived and stuffed full of more hormones than Fatima Whitbread's cock.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:37, Reply)

^ Voice of reason here
They're always all "Boo hoo I'm so unattractive"
How do they think their husbands feel having to look at them?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:41, Reply)

"should have let me take you up the arse then, love"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:43, Reply)

Turn around , fat pig, you look relatively normal from behind.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:51, Reply)