if you are an OMGirl online and you don't have a cockend, can you nominate someone else's?
in which case i might go for shoving a lit cigar up monty's, given that he has abandoned us to go on holiday. what a selfish cunt.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:51, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

ouch
*crosses legs*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:51, Reply)

some people might enjoy it, i guess
where is himjim anyway?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:53, Reply)

He said something about having to get to the tobacconists

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Before the snow melts.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:56, Reply)

to take the internet seriously
are there any left? there used to be a massive one near me on holborn until last year, and i always wondered who went in there, as it seemed that they mostly sold pipes.

it's a coffee shop now.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:59, Reply)

there are a couple up here I think.
combined with whisky shops though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:02, Reply)

it's just not a business you'd want to rush into opening up these days, is it?
whereas "ye olde sweete shoppes" seem to be popping up like jordan's thrush. how can they be olde when they were a dry-cleaners 5 mins ago?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:07, Reply)

There's an 'Ye Olde Sweete Shoppe' opened up in Basildon.
Basildon, for fucks sake, it's a New Town, for starters.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Basildon
isnt a new town its a shite hole
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 11:05, Reply)

presumably with the planned laws
a tobacconist must now have a completely blank shop front like a porn shop?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:42, Reply)

porn shops should have massive 3d rubber tits on the front

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Lots of Seafronts have them, for some reason. I know that they exist in Bridlington, Blackpool, Brighton and Southend for sure.
Horsham has one too. I believe there is also one in Soho and one near a big station somewhere, possibly Victoria? Maybe Paddington?

There are a few still dotted around though.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:05, Reply)

I think there is still one near me.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Oxford's got one
I must pop in before the next bash and see if they have any cherry kreteks. I probably owe Lampito half a pack of those things...
(berk, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:53, Reply)

How can he afford a holiday?
Where's he gone, his bathroom?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:55, Reply)

if he goes somewhere without available top-notch gack
and XO cognac, he actually saves money. trufax.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:57, Reply)

I am trying to imagine where such a place may be. Possibly the Isle of Wight where every day is 1973?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:58, Reply)

i thought there was plenty of snow in iceland?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Well it was cold and wet in there so it could pass for Iceland

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:57, Reply)

no, you can't.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:58, Reply)

too late
i've already rammed a hedgehog and a cocktail umbrella up yours.

and don't pretend you didn't fucking love it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:59, Reply)

okay but what did I then shit out?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

you tried manfully
but the umbrella got in the way and blocked the exit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

go shove a manfully up your cockend and shit out an exit.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

well ok
but i'm going to need a client to charge it to, it could take a while.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:09, Reply)

fucking lawyers.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:12, Reply)

well, it's something worthwhile to do with them
as long as they don't bill you for it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:42, Reply)

I'm not sure what the cocktail umbrella achieves
that the hedgehog doesn't?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

it's to keep the hedgehog dry.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:03, Reply)

POTD.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:04, Reply)

agreed

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:05, Reply)

You need to brush up on your spelling.
/Richard Digence, c1984
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:59, Reply)

you just need to brush.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Up my Shakespeare?
No, up YOUR Shakespeare.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:09, Reply)