Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Morning fuck monkeys.I'm going to be brave and start a new thread. When was the last time you were brave?
Alt: what would you like to shove up your cockend?
Alt alt: what would you like to shit out?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 8:28,
154 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
I bravely came into the office at 7am this morningDespite having only go back from holiday yesterday morning.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 8:37,
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well done, award yourself an orange.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 8:39,
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could you write 1st place on it please and your name?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 8:52,
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It's just the fluorescent tube lighting in my office. In real life it appears more orange.(
Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:03,
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Imagine if you could change the flavour of something by changing the lighting on it, that would be ace.I'd put some neon lights in my mouth so everything tastes of fake-grape.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:05,
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You sort of can...There have been various experiments with changing the appearance of foods in order to change people's perceptions of what they are eating.
The simplest being adding a colour to lemonade then getting the subject to identify its flavour - red is usually perceived as cherryade, orange as orangeade, blue as some ghastly working class drink, etc.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:12,
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I hate the working class.They should just accept the fact that we're better than them and that they don't need an NHS.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:13,
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I quite like patronising them.I think it is sweet that they don't have private healthcare.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:15,
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Could you colour it in a bit for us?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:05,
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No, that looks too orange nowIt's unnatural.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:31,
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Yeah, needs more work.Abandon whatever else you had planned today Al and focus on getting this orange right please.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:17,
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OMG I HAD ONE THAT WAS GREEN ONCE!!!11!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:23,
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i hope you put it in the oven and gassed it to deathit was the right thing to do
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:24, Reply)
I removed its skin and ate it. It was delicious.
The lesson we can learn from this is that inside we are all the same.
Now let's all hold hands.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:30,
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you've written in front of it not on itit hardly looks like a trophy or prize at all
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:08, Reply)
above and beyond, Al.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:11,
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did anyone see anneka rice on tv this morning?she still looks alright
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 8:59, Reply)
I didn't see that.was she wearing a catsuit?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 8:59,
Reply)
i don't think she was but i only saw her from the chest upi'd let her have a ride on my chopper any day
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:01, Reply)
I am instinctively a complete cowardI occasionally pretend to be brave in front of my son, in the hope that he doesn't grow up to be a complete wet like his father.
Alt: LSD
Alt alt: Usually the last meal or two eaten.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:04,
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Hmmm, tough case this.I prescribe taking one knuckleduster three times a day and attacking random hoodies.
I'll make an appointment for you to see me again in two weeks time, see how you're getting on.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
Morning !Oh what a beutiful morning, oh what a beutiful day, I've got a funny feeling, something is gonna come my way.
OH MAN, last night I had 12 hour long clinical chronic depression, but I woke up and life is great again. Had a wicked night's sleep, only woke up like 3 times.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:07,
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I don't get why people have it for any longer, it's not exactly nice, silly sods.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:14,
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Can running headfirst into a mosh pit with people twice my size in it count as brave?Went to a quiz for the first time this year last night, one of the rounds was anagrams, specifically those of male names. One of them was 'In Quent'. Seems I really can't get away from the fucker!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:07,
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that depends. were you running into this "mosh pit" to save a burning orphan?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:09,
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award yourself a QOTW medal.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:10,
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made of the finest Accord.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:12,
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with razor sharp edges to dispense justice.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:16,
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No, the centre of a mosh pit is the safest bit.Also, that is a shit anagram.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:10,
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There wasn't anywhere safe on Friday, the entire thing was going mentalAye, it was the worst of them, some were just cruel.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:21,
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those Girls Aloud gigs are just the worst, aren't they?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:27,
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denial is a river in Eygpt, sweetie.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:41,
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I went to school with a lad whose surname was 'Ramsbottom'In primary school, this was hilarious.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:41,
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Alt: A cock (chicken)Alt alt: Feathers and clucking sounds.
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Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:09,
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go shove a cock up your cockend and shit out feathers.works for me, random user.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:10,
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See.it sounds much better coming from you.(
Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:41,
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last time i was brave i saved the entire eastern seaboard from a nuclear disasterI'd shove one fo theose fairy sticks full of sherbet into my peehiole and then i'd jizz a frothy fountain of fizz
i'd like to shit out of marcus from x factor's mouth cos it would be ebtter than listening to him sing
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:24, Reply)
I wonder if you shoved a fishermans friend up your cockhole with coke it would be fizzy.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:31,
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damn, now I'll need to try both.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:48,
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more difficult to get up your cockhole, I imagine, though.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:49,
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textbook.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:55,
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Last night, cleaning up my daughter's puke and shitewhich stunk of death.
Alt:
Kylie
Alt Alt:
£10 notes
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:25,
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Ah they bring so much joy, don't they?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:27,
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tenners?yep, if you have a lot of them
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:28,
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I have one in my wallet.I had two yesterday but I bought breakfast for me and the wife.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:30,
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bastards, Altaking your money
I take it upsidedownland was good?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:31,
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It was bloody fantastic.I always forget just how much I like Australian beer.
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Bazongaloid, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:46,
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good so.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:03,
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what was she drinking?I bet it was malibu.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:29,
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It smelled like a combination of bleach, dog shit and Bachelors savoury rice(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:34,
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I fancy some porridge now :'((
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:36,
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Well you're from Glasgow, so I'm sure you'll do time soon enough.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:39,
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I'll do YOUR time soon enough!!!!(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:40,
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I am unable to eat anything just thinking about the smell(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:39,
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Cos students never need help clearing up their sick and shit.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:32,
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My step-daughter has graduated from UniMy 5 year old daughter was the ill one
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:33,
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I did four miles on the treadmill this morningThat's pretty brave. The foundations of our house aren't made of adamantium. As of yet.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:41, Reply)
making yourslef look pretty for someone new?go on darth, what's his name?
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:43,
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I can't reveal this information in a public forumas the object of my affections is a prominent public figure who stands to lose a great deal if his proclivity for homosexual coitus with sweaty internet shutins were to be revealed.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:49, Reply)
ah, Cleggy.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:54,
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He'll never marry you, you know(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:04,
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It's not that sort of relationshipHe's really into roleplaying. He likes to pretend he's an African baby and I'm God giving it AIDS. With my penis.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:09, Reply)
I bet he likes to invade your poland.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:13,
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Ooh that's a good one. I might try that tonight"Ja, ja, das blitkrieg kommen!"
Close enough?
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:16, Reply)
time for his stuka to divebomb your frontlines.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:17,
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It works on a lot of levels actuallyCos Poland put up absolutely no resistance whatsoever. Much like my ringpiece.
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Shut it, fatty.Also, I received a call off Katee Sackhoff this morning, she asked me to tell you to stop running, as you're putting her right off her rhythm.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:43,
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Oh shit, I posted this logged in under the wrong accountI've posted a proper one below, is that better?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:49,
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My brain hurtsI'm adopting a fingers-in-ears "NA NA NA CAN'T HEAR YOU" policy until further notice
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:50, Reply)
Haha, fair enoughMorning fella, how are we?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:53,
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haha i just remembered i got a call from Paige Turner this mornignactually 100% true, weird
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:48, Reply)
Providing I haven't fallen asleep I'll be on a 7k run tonight(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:43,
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No, you're still awake, your life really is this tedious.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:44,
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Well, yesbut not recently, summer of 2010. I hate running in the cold. Or the dark. Or the winter.
How was Oz?
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:48, Reply)
if you are an OMGirl online and you don't have a cockend, can you nominate someone else's?in which case i might go for shoving a lit cigar up monty's, given that he has abandoned us to go on holiday. what a selfish cunt.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:51,
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some people might enjoy it, i guesswhere is himjim anyway?!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:53,
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He said something about having to get to the tobacconists(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:55,
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to take the internet seriouslyare there any left? there used to be a massive one near me on holborn until last year, and i always wondered who went in there, as it seemed that they mostly sold pipes.
it's a coffee shop now.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:59,
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there are a couple up here I think.combined with whisky shops though.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:02,
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it's just not a business you'd want to rush into opening up these days, is it?whereas "ye olde sweete shoppes" seem to be popping up like jordan's thrush. how can they be olde when they were a dry-cleaners 5 mins ago?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:07,
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There's an 'Ye Olde Sweete Shoppe' opened up in Basildon.Basildon, for fucks sake, it's a New Town, for starters.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:08,
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presumably with the planned lawsa tobacconist must now have a completely blank shop front like a porn shop?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:42,
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porn shops should have massive 3d rubber tits on the front(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:43,
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Lots of Seafronts have them, for some reason. I know that they exist in Bridlington, Blackpool, Brighton and Southend for sure.Horsham has one too. I believe there is also one in Soho and one near a big station somewhere, possibly Victoria? Maybe Paddington?
There are a few still dotted around though.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:05,
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I think there is still one near me.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:05,
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Oxford's got oneI must pop in before the next bash and see if they have any cherry kreteks. I probably owe Lampito half a pack of those things...
(, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:53, Reply)
How can he afford a holiday?Where's he gone, his bathroom?
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:55,
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if he goes somewhere without available top-notch gackand XO cognac, he actually saves money. trufax.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:57,
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I am trying to imagine where such a place may be. Possibly the Isle of Wight where every day is 1973?(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:58,
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i thought there was plenty of snow in iceland?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:00,
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Well it was cold and wet in there so it could pass for Iceland(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:57,
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too latei've already rammed a hedgehog and a cocktail umbrella up yours.
and don't pretend you didn't fucking love it.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:59,
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okay but what did I then shit out?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
you tried manfullybut the umbrella got in the way and blocked the exit
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:06,
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go shove a manfully up your cockend and shit out an exit.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:08,
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well okbut i'm going to need a client to charge it to, it could take a while.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:09,
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well, it's something worthwhile to do with themas long as they don't bill you for it.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:42,
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I'm not sure what the cocktail umbrella achievesthat the hedgehog doesn't?
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:01,
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it's to keep the hedgehog dry.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:03,
Reply)
You need to brush up on your spelling./Richard Digence, c1984
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:59,
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I had a nightmare last nightIn which I was trying to stop Theresa May from opening a portal to a dimension full of Eldritch horrors. I was quite brave then.
I suspect it was caused by anxiety over my phone interview this afternoon, which may also explain the squits I'm currently suffering.
Altalt: something a little more solid would be nice.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 9:58,
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breeze blocks?(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:00,
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I'd prefer to strike a happy medium(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:09,
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1.bp.blogspot.com/-Aeuitoz-MzA/Tq_ddDioi7I/AAAAAAAAA-E/Qk2gOaqZRjU/s1600/Sally+Morgan+poster.JPG
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:11,
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I told off some chav teenagers for littering and didn't get stabbed even a little bitalt:
altalt: marshmallows
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:26,
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There's no need for your shame here alwe can't see your festering gut or flake covered bald spot
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 13 Mar 2012, 10:35,
Reply)
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