Thursday's Child has far to go
But luckily not too far until the weekend. What ephemeral crap can you tell us about yourself - what day of the week were you born on or what star sign are you? Do you believe in any of that?

Alt: if you could ban something (from existence, not from b3ta), what would it be??

Alt alt: the pope is now bollocking America for the Cuba embargo. Should they listen?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:30, 159 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Hi Sweetie
*airkisses*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:33, Reply)

Hey, I don't think you mean that
more forum unpleasantness
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:35, Reply)

Oh no
I have to go to work, I can't stay and play with you right now. Save me some bile for later eh?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:36, Reply)

No worries
I could squirt my bile on your boobehs if you like!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:41, Reply)

Morning Swipe
I was born on a Friday, at 1:36pm, in May. I'm a Taurus, and I have enough of a brain to know that anyone who judges you on star signs is a fucking idiot, as I told my housemate the other day, having pointed out that Russell Grant was a fucking idiot. Her response was 'yes, he's a shit one, but there are better!'. No, no there isn't. They're all talking shite.

Alt: Whilst I'm aware they're only metaphorical, I'd ban anyone from getting on their high horse. One of my friends has a habit of doing it from time to time, and it's absolutely infuriating.

Alt Alt: No. Then again, if it was JP2 saying that, I might be more inclined to agree, as he seemed like less of a bellend than others.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:43, Reply)

Which others?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:45, Reply)

I struggle to remember their names now, but the Popes and Anti-Popes all just seemed like self serving wankers when I learned about them years back
A quick search also brings up the name Leo X.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:08, Reply)

I can't say that your statement of the holders of the papacy being all 'bellends' based on perhaps knowing one name from two millenia of holders has that much veracity
Stop being so ignorant
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:17, Reply)

You don't need to know every detail about, say, Idi Amin to know he was a bad person
We spent a term learning about the formings of the Lutheran church, during which we touched on those who excommunicated him, and the corruption that was rife at the time. Forgive me if I can't remember intricate details, at the time it was made clear that these people weren't interested in being 'God's representative on Earth', simply in the money and power that came with it, that's all I meant.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:28, Reply)

No offence AA, but half learning about the Lutheran church for your GCSE's in a dunce comprehensive for which you got an above school average grade E doesn't really give you a broad outline of the papacy over it's two thousand years

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:07, Reply)

None taken, this was at A Level anyway.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:29, Reply)

I am a photic sneezer and a Capricorn.
I am a recovered stammerer and have no idea what day of the week I was born on
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:43, Reply)

I had no idea until I just checked

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:47, Reply)

I'm a Thursday child, and an Aquarius. All of which means squat.
Alt: I think I'd ban professional politicians, they are all a bunch of thieving power mad gits. Thomas Paine had it right in hie excellent book "The rights of Man".

Alt alt: The pope should shut the holy arse up. He's just being nice to Castro before either of them dies.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:45, Reply)

As a Monday's child I should be fair of face
However, those of you who have seen my face may disagree with this. As a Leo born on the cusp of Virgo (or a Virgo born on the cusp of Leo, depending on which astrologer's dates you go by) I am pretty much like a virginal lion.
I would be surprised if anyone here believes in any of these things.

Alt: Mortality, specifically my own and those that I love.

Alt alt: It's a difficult one. There is often a lot to criticise in US foreign policy, however I don't believe in paying any attention to anything Ratzinger has to say.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:50, Reply)

So, Rory then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Teeheehee, this is funny because I don't tell the internet about the sex wot I had, specifically with some degree of pride over biffing a fat landed walrus

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 8:56, Reply)

I guess you only biff super models Rory.
biff stalk
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:06, Reply)

Oh dear, another offtopic whaler

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:18, Reply)

I am also born on the cusp so I get to pick and choose my horoscopes. S'great.
I was also born on the autumnal equinox. I know all the star sign symbols in order, for no discernable reason. Reading horoscopes are a good pastime. Just how VAGUE can you be before it makes no sense?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:07, Reply)

So you've got a choice between
"Friends of friends could put a dampener on your plans. They may not see the potential in one of your ideas. They might not realize either, but the more obstacles they put in your way, the more determined you are to succeed. In stripping out an area, your imagination could take flight, and although you may need assistance from a professional builder or plumber, you may see a way of improving an area out of all recognition."

--Or --

"As is likely to be the case for a few signs, you could be in property action mode today. Stripping things out and paving way the way for new items is one possibility. Another is that you might visit a place of great history and be intrigued to find out more. Wills, legacies and inheritance could form part of your conversation. A much older person could give you valuable information about an area."

So it's a toss-up between vague, indeterminate old bollocks and waffly horse-shit.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:14, Reply)

Today's Horoscope for Leo:
You may turn into a large crow. If you do not have this happen, you will inevitably die.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:16, Reply)

I suspect you're making that up
Fittingly, the one for Leo, from the same site, is phenomenally gay:
"You could experience one of your 'make a drama' moments. It might suit you to act as though you're playing the lead role in a production. Your authority and ability to hold center-stage could prompt you to behave even more outrageously. This could cause someone older a degree of anguish. At a different level entirely, a key anniversary may need to be acknowledged."
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:17, Reply)

They might as well just put
"only middle-aged women with cat issues and disillusioned benders are going to read this, so we might as well tailor it for total berties"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:19, Reply)

I suspect you're right
I just hope there's some veracity to the urban legends about one of the other newspaper staff making up some guff one night because the real horoscope writer was off sick, only to find the paper's phone desk beleaguered with calls from people terrified by what their horoscope told them.

(Because I could laugh at these people and feel slightly better about myself)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:21, Reply)

The fact it's talking about fucking home improvements.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:25, Reply)

The horoscope writer has clearly taken a backhander from their handyman or plumber friend

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:26, Reply)

"disillusioned benders"
genius.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:31, Reply)

Oh god, I thought you were making those up.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:21, Reply)

Nope.
(Makes you despair really, doesn't it?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:22, Reply)

"So it's a toss-up between vague, indeterminate old bollocks and waffly horse-shit."
What a wonderful description.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:17, Reply)

Aren't they you're only two settings?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:34, Reply)

No, there's also strikethroughs and TOAPs from me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:37, Reply)

I was born on a Wednesday in December
This obviously means I am hung like a horse and good at fighting. All that astrology stuff is the biggest load of bollocks I've ever heard. The thought that everyone born between 2 dates has the same destiny is ludicrous.

Alt:
Dawdling people, either in cars or walking.

Alt Alt:
Of course not. He worships an invisible man in the sky FFS
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:09, Reply)

Astrology and horoscopes are, I put it to you, a load of old bollocks.
Ditto the stuff about the day of the week you were born on.

What might have a bearing on your character is your mother liking to remind you, on every birthday, that she spent 26 hours in labour for the sake of you, and when you finally tumbled out you'd been starved of oxygen for so long you were blue.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Kroney gazzed me at 12.30am asking me to have sex with his dog
i think you should all be worried about this
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:18, Reply)

I disagree
I think only you and his dog should be worried.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:19, Reply)

he could have had a total mental brakedown for all we know and he might want us all to have sex with his dog

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:21, Reply)

I reckon it's just you.
He's mad for some Quints alsatian action.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:23, Reply)

he's only human, after all

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:27, Reply)

In badly Googled Italian, no less.
It's the language of love Quints. I promise I won't be filming it with all the secret cameras I don't have scattered about the flat.
( Kroney, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:29, Reply)

as far as i'm concerned you and i are no longer single

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:30, Reply)

what about me?
he texted me a photo of your cock.

i had to burn my phone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:32, Reply)

proxy cockgazzing
stylish work.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Is this a 21st century version of "my mate fancies you"?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:35, Reply)

I was just thinking the exact same

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:38, Reply)

not that stylish
i've only ever seen one worse case of personal topiary before (in fact someone from these very pages, it was like the jabberwocky's forest).

someone buy this man a strimmer on 16 april, for the love of god.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:37, Reply)

a "david bellamy"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:38, Reply)

this is so apt
i had a trim the other day cos the sides were getting a bit long, i'd neglected them
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:39, Reply)

the sides of the gaping well of your distended anus?
nice image there. thanks Q.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:44, Reply)

nah, side of my balls init

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:47, Reply)

god that's nasty
i feel like cleaning my teeth now
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:49, Reply)

yeah i hate it when i get pubes in my teeth too
and when they stick in the back of your throat and your like (cough) all day
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:51, Reply)

was it a friction burn?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:34, Reply)

i am born between the leo and virgo starsigns
allegedly this means i am on the 'cusp'
this means that when people go 'what star sign are you?' and i tell them, they have an even wider range of vague noncommittal personality attributes and mumbo-jumbo they can spout at me. a 100% increase in potentially applicable twaddle, if you will.

alt: cucumber. it's fucking wrong. itis. no, shut up, it really is. wrong. cucuimber. fuck off wth your warty green skin and vague taste of bile that repeats on you for hours.

alt alt: when two universally disliked entities fight, EVERYONE wins.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:20, Reply)

*cucumber hate high fives*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:29, Reply)

cucumber is for cunts.
gay cunts, at that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:30, Reply)

What is wrong with cucumber?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:33, Reply)

everything.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Apparently some people can taste a weird chemical in it and others can't
I quite like cucumber.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:38, Reply)

i love a bit of cucumber
not in sandwiches though, unless you are eating them at once. it makes the bread go soggy.

see also tomatoes. the rancid red cunts. that's one of the things i would ban. raw tomatoes.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:41, Reply)

wrong answer
correct answer would be 'kill it, burn it, burnit with fire'
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:04, Reply)

when the war comes and society as we know it crumbles
your ilk will be the first to be lined up and shot.
i'll see to it myself.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:05, Reply)

but what about tzatziki
don't be hating on the tzatziki

also how's the arm?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:33, Reply)

Fingers crossed, going OK.
another X-Ray in 4 weeks to check on the healing.

They really did use a staple remover. FFS.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:35, Reply)

i shall be keeping my fingers crossed
NHS cutbacks, innit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:37, Reply)

No, I think they are supposed to
you just think "jesus fuck, that's going to hurt, these are hardly office staples" but it wasn't that bad.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:39, Reply)

glad it wasn't too bad
can we assume you've now given up the "sport" with the rock hard ball hit by sticks at high speeds towards your body??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:42, Reply)

fuck no
unless I find some other way to keep fit.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:43, Reply)

i could think of quite a few

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:49, Reply)

above and beyond those.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:56, Reply)

i think you're judging me by your standards
i was thinking of running and zumba
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:59, Reply)

so was I
well, not Zumba, obviously. I still possess a pair of balls.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Only for as long as it takes for one well-aimed hockey ball to find its mark

( Kroney, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Above or under, I doubt she'll mind.
I reckon when you two eventually fuck, it would be like watching Kazparov take on Deep Blue, should Kazparov and Deep Blue be a wolves in the antartic.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:34, Reply)

there will be no high fiving
this is serious bidness.
and you know what elese can get to fuck?
melon.
in all it's evil, weirdly green planty tasting forms.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:36, Reply)

You're just odd.
Melon is lovely in summer, and tuna and cucumber sandwiches are great for picnics!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:37, Reply)

i bet you eat them
then get on the train and stank alll up in people's faces with your manky tuna and melon breath.
you're everything that's wrong with the world you are.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Nah, I don't tend to eat tuna much anymore anyway, the stuff is an absolute fucking rip off.
They'd smell the salad cream over the rest anyway, haha
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:04, Reply)

I haven't a blue fucking clue what day I was born on.
The world of the internet tells me I'm Libra, whatever that means. Presumably I'm balanced and shit.

In other news, Matt Prior, you're a cockend.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:22, Reply)

I was getting a quote for a new boiler from British Gas and when I gave my DOB he said "Oh, you're also a monday child", I looked and I am.
I don't know what that means though.

I'm quite pleased with my Amazedogs idea, it's passed the "Next Morning" test, hopefully I can turn it into something.

I woke up with OH WOE IS ME guts, proper painful, the tablets are kicking in now though.

I don't know anything about the whole pope thing, I think they should just disabandon the vatican or at least for the pope to say "You know what? Do what the fuck you want." about the whole condom and gay sex thing. He's, as an institution, the exact singular cause for pretty much every christian problem-country in Africa.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:26, Reply)

It means you're fair of face
bit of early-nursery racial stereotyping, right there.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:28, Reply)

Paedos do love a Monday kid

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:30, Reply)

That can't be true, otherwise Bob Geldolf wouldn't have sung that song.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:47, Reply)

i have no reason to make this claim about Bob Geldolf apart from the fact he looks like someone
you'd see named and shamed on the front page of The Daily Mail.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Mondays is the name of his son

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:58, Reply)

I wish, I ain't had that kind of action in ages.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:17, Reply)

My mum did my star chart once, which indicated that I was arrogant and slutty.
So obviously it's all crap. No, I don't believe in it, myself.
( Kroney, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:27, Reply)

I did your mum's star once
She was quite slutty.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:30, Reply)

i am april 16th, what's that?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:30, Reply)

in about 2 weeks' time

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:32, Reply)

no not april this year

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:33, Reply)

We should all bring in cakes!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:33, Reply)

YES

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:34, Reply)

I was born on a Sunday. I don't remember what that means? Is it 'full of Grace'? If so...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAH...BWAAAH HAHA HAHA HA.

Fucking hell, nothing could be further from the truth.

AltAlt: While I'm not sure the Cuba embargo serves any great purpose other than to make a nasty dictator seem like someone deserving of sympathy, I think anyone that pays any attention to anything that comes out of The Popes mouth is a grade A moron.

In fact, Alt: The Pope.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:34, Reply)

Sunday's child is gay

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:36, Reply)

Ah, yes, I remember the rhyme now you say that
Monday's child is fair of face
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay as a box of scouts.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:38, Reply)

The child that's born on the sabbath day
is bonny and blithe and good and gay.

LOLbender.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:37, Reply)

i always thought i was born on a thursday
"far to go" sounded so much more exciting than all the others. in fact there are even kids' books called "thursday's child" and "far to go" about an exotic orphan. only my grandma ruined my childish dreams of oscars and astronauts and mysterious royal parents by insisting that SHE remembered it was a friday, oh yes SHE did...

then the internet came along. bloody grandma was right all along. "loving and giving". loving and fucking giving. so basically a doormat then? thanks cosmos. thanks a lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:40, Reply)

I don't think womens magazines had anything to do with this rhyme.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Can't be Cosmo
I can't see any reference to keeping "your man" happy or how "your man" is a cheating scumbag anywhere in that rhyme.
( Kroney, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:51, Reply)

what part of "loving and giving" are you not getting?
and "fair of face". for the shallow.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Seems more like Woman's Weekly's schtick, to me.
Possibly Good Housekeeping.
( Kroney, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Could be worse
I'm a Friday's child too, it seems my loving and giving seems to entirely go on tubsters.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:50, Reply)

better than "disillusioned benders"
to steal badger's phrase
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:50, Reply)

take whatever you can get and be grateful

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Saturday's child works hard for a living
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

No, I don't believe in any of that.

Alt: Peanuts

Alt Alt: The Pope is getting involved in politics now? Stick to the voodoo and ghost stories, grandpa
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:43, Reply)

The wonderful comic strip or the delicious snack?
Either way, you just dropped a few notches down the list of 'people I like'.

It's a real list. I keep it in my wallet.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Peanuts are vile

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:50, Reply)

NONONONONONONONONONNONONONONONONONO
that is all
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:51, Reply)

You hate bacon, you have no say here.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:51, Reply)

you like bacon and you don't like peanuts?
you're a brainwrong!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:53, Reply)

No chance, bacon is magnificent, and peanuts are absolutely vile
My team mate used to get them when we went to the pub quiz, the smell of them is that bad it used to actually put me off.

And same with the peanuts, ho ho
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Agnostic Antichrist is right (about this)
Those of you who disagree with him (about this) are wrong

I HAVE SPOKEN (quite camply)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:09, Reply)

NO! MY PREFERRED SALTY FOOD IS BETTER THAN YOUR PREFERRED SALTY FOOD!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:14, Reply)

In fairness, Darth and Swipe usually agree on their 'preferred salty food'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:16, Reply)

Never have we been so firmly in agreement.
In fact, I'm not sure I like it.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:56, Reply)

say my name bitch

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman, Candyman

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Are you wearing your black armband for Earl Scruggs today, scarpo?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Noooooooooooooo!
I hadn't seen any news yet today. I hate it when I find things like this out on B3ta!
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Sorry to be the bearer...
I didn't mean for you to have a foggy mountain breakdown.

*leaves internet*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Get back here.
You don't show yourself up with jokes like that and then get to sneak away without facing up to them.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Less than 100 to win, and plenty of wickets still to fall.
I feel that owed pint in my clammy hand already.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:49, Reply)

you mean england is going to beat SL?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:53, Reply)

no they aren't
they've done just enough to drag some hope from despair and now they are bollocksing it up.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:54, Reply)

oh christ
why are we so shit at everything?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:57, Reply)

we aren't, really
this is the highest 4th innings score at this ground ever. 3 or the 6 wickets down have been terribly unlucky. And if Stuart Broad wasn't a fucking petulant child we'd only need another 40 to win. But Trott is out now so it's over..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:58, Reply)

i will accept this as you sound to know your stuff

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:00, Reply)

i saw some people arguing about football on facebook last ngiht
and i said that was exactly how i like my women, dead serious and deeply upsetting
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:01, Reply)

With 11 men on either side, and thousands watching?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:04, Reply)

and balls flying in and out of the box.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:05, Reply)

no i meant the arguement, they were both getting really upset that the commentator was mean about an italian

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:07, Reply)

I've always preferred Brazilians, far neater.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

i'm glad you've stopped being creepy now

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:14, Reply)

On second thoughts, not likely.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Just got back to my desk after making some coffees
You, sir, are a one-man mockers factory
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:08, Reply)

shut up, you fucking jinx monkey.
Samit Patel, you are a fat twat.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Swanny's gone now
He was never going to last but I was hoping he'd give it some humpty first. The hand of fate is shoving Monty Panesar in the back and reminding him of those dropped catches in the first innings... spirit of Cardiff '09 and all that...

Who the fuck am I kidding, it'll be all over before I finish typing this sentence
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Fuck it, I don't mind that we lose here
what's important is that we weren't humped.

We've been so unlucky in this innings in dismissals.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:33, Reply)

Although I was hoping we wouldn't just bend over and take it quite so quickly.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:37, Reply)

alright off topicers?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:43, Reply)

hello

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Hello.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:34, Reply)

I don't know which day I was born on, but I do know it was at about 3am
which makes me a cunt, regardless.
( Kroney, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:49, Reply)

it's not the only thing, is it?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Start as you mean to go on, innit.

( Kroney, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 9:51, Reply)

I'm a Friday's child
Which means I'm loving and giving. Anyone who knows me can attest to this.
I'm also a typical Sagittarius, and I was born in the year of the Ox, and I'm pretty typical for one of them too.

I once had a personal horoscope done by Jonathan Cainer, and the personality section was spot on. It was exactly what was turned up in one of those full on personality profile things I had to have done for my last job.

Alt: peppers. Specifically bell peppers. There's some chemical in them that turns my stomach. They are fucking evil.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Roasted pepper is amazing!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:11, Reply)

I'm sure they are
But there's just something in them that I can't stand. I can tell when they've been in the room before I got there. They really do just make me feel ill. I have been forced to eat them in polite company, and I'm obviously not allergic to them. I just find them incredibly unpleasant and repulsive.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:13, Reply)

I think this say more about the lack of credibility of personality profiles than the accuracy of horoscopes.
Also, perhaps it is the capsaicin in peppers that disagrees with you. It is in there to put mammals off from eating them. Do you dislike chili peppers too?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:13, Reply)

No,i don't minds them.
I also quite like paprika as a flavour. It's just the fresh peppers I can't stand.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:15, Reply)

Ah you're just fussy then
Nothing to do with chemicals.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Opposite to Monty then
who isn't fussy at all about chemicals
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:18, Reply)

If I were just fussy
I wouldn't be able to tell that someone had smuggled them into the kitchen because they didn't believe I could actually smell them.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:19, Reply)

Smuggling peppers?
Those are some big nipples...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:20, Reply)

: )

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Red or green?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 10:27, Reply)

I was born on a Saturday....
....roll on the bloody weekend....
(KarlToOnZ feels like crap on, Thu 29 Mar 2012, 15:43, Reply)