When I have a particularly shit night of broken sleep
I think of all my friends who get proper undisturbed sleep and I mentally shake my fist at them. You are one of the few to escape this fistshaking. I find comfort in the fact that you understand the pain and misery of sleeplessnessnessness.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:02, 7 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

fistshaking, etc.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:03, Reply)

May i please also be spared the fist shaking
a baby rattling cough as prevented decent sleep for weeks now
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:04, Reply)

yeah, okay, but weeks? Just weeks?
I've had 22 months of it. *sadtiredface*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:05, Reply)

5 years............zzzzzzzzz

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)

I was an insomniac for years and years
but I had tablets for that. Tablets which I'm not allowed to give to a small child.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)

I just got used to it TBH

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:10, Reply)

Have you tried gin?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:12, Reply)

I have at least 3 before bedtime.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)

You seriously need to sort that out.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Uhuh.
You know, one thing that's worse than my child not sleeping through? Other people thinking that I haven't tried to change it.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Haha
I should tell you a really smug tale about what definitely works.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:10, Reply)

I'm just waiting for him to get married. Then s/he can deal with it.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)

A baseball bat.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)

Curse other people's children spreading illness to our healthy babies
Baby tangle was awake for most of Friday night, after I had been out to a beer festival and really should have been allowed to sleep.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Mine appears to have abated after 10 years
The last three weeks, I've slept so well. I have no idea what has changed
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:04, Reply)

Isn't your kid old enough to have packed that shit in now?
/mumsnet
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:05, Reply)

You'd think so,
but I have one that has never slept through.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Never?
What is wrong with it?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:09, Reply)

It doesn't sleep.
Some kids don't. They just don't. My sister in law didn't sleep through til she was 7. That's years, not months.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:10, Reply)

It's just too gosh darned cute
you have to pick it up every couple of hours and pinch it's little cheeks and give it a cuddle.

If you stand at one end of the room and shout "cuddle" it runs over to you for a cuddle. It's an awesome child.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:11, Reply)

An awesome child who woke up at 5am this morning demanding potatoes...

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:14, Reply)

She must learn that there are no potatoes.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)

Just being true to her roots.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)

I do think it's some kind of cultural memory.
She was probably dreaming of a barren, windswept moor, with Enya warbling in the background, and a beshawled old lady weeping over the blighted crop.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:17, Reply)

*applauds*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:42, Reply)

They are all a lot cuter when they are asleep.
Without exception.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:17, Reply)

Didn't the Mccanns think that too?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:19, Reply)

They took it to extreme lengths

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)

If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing right.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:26, Reply)

Yep.
I got a whole two and a half hours in a row last night! And Saturday night we were away staying at a Best Western, no less (no expense spared!) and the bastards set the fire alarm off at 3am. The siren went three times, the whole world ran out of their rooms and ran around like headless kittens on speed. I went back to sleep. Bastards.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:05, Reply)

I think I would have killed them had I had the energy.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)

Your bastards?
Or just bastards in general?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:08, Reply)

My bastards were with granny
Being bastards to her. These were just bastards in general.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:10, Reply)

I found a physio
the one I used to go to left the place I used to go to. So I found there was one about 50 yards from my house instead.

I'm going to do this half marathon if it kills me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Oh yay.
It won't kill you, it'll make you stronger. Well, maybe not stronger. Maybe broken.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:09, Reply)

It's a lot cheapr than the other place too.
Only £40 a session compared to £75 for an initial consultation and £57 for follow ups.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:12, Reply)

Physio?
Or ladyboy?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)

followup happyendinglols

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:14, Reply)

And it was with a man.
From south africa.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:21, Reply)

I had that happen at a physio once
He was a Kiwi. Put me into positions that I'm usually naked or wearing heels for.
He had no shame. I had to think of England.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:25, Reply)

England PJM
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:30, Reply)

PJM tangerines.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:30, Reply)

Is that what you do?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:30, Reply)

I think he thinks of DiT. Or Gonz.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:32, Reply)

I think of chocolate.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:36, Reply)

You knew teh risks when you decided to spawn.
I have no sympathy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:11, Reply)

I never decided to spawn, I just got knocked up by a midget at a b3ta bash

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Shit.
*cancels plans for Jeffstock*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)

You should be scared.
I've cleaned my toilet and everything.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:21, Reply)

What?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)

That's one of the portents.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:26, Reply)

Now I'm really scared.
Luckily, I'm particularly unfertile.
And frigid.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:28, Reply)

But the portents! They cannot be denied. You may end up having a kitten.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:33, Reply)

I shall give it to Roota
and have her raise it as her own.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)

This is a good plan.

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 16 Apr 2012, 16:39, Reply)