I have new shoes.
They are not bent.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 17:41, 49 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Yes they are

( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 17:50, Reply)

What are they?
I'm stuck in the departure lounge bored out of my mind.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 17:53, Reply)

You wear them on your feet

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 17:55, Reply)

I've been doing it wrong for years
no wonder the woman in Schuh looked at me weird this afternoon.
( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 17:56, Reply)

it was your musk of pure sex
she were dripping fanny batter everywhere after you left
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:03, Reply)

Gucinari
Italian leather, perforation detail, three eyelet.

Hand stitching on the soles too.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:01, Reply)

GAY!!!!!!!!

( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:02, Reply)

I know you are, but what am I?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:06, Reply)

Seriously? That's the best you can do? Oh Plumdozer, you used to be cool.

( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:10, Reply)

I can do better Al, but I'm using my phone so not so easy to type a 'devastating' putdown.
You've never thought I'm cool. But I was listening to Slayer earlier on.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:12, Reply)

I seriously doubt that

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:05, Reply)

His shoes are so bent even you wouldn't give him one.

( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:09, Reply)

damnit
that's bad. I am a notorious whore
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:27, Reply)

if you can find it I'll let you hold my willy
50 p
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:54, Reply)

Don't
fall for it, Captain. I think he means scold rather than hold.

Of course, you could always call his bluff, whip out a kettle and scald the miniscule object.

Blame dyslexia.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:02, Reply)

no
now leave me alone, I'm recording.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:04, Reply)

*puts kettle on*
*makes tea*

oh.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:13, Reply)

it'll take both hands to lift the rolls of flab

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:13, Reply)

I'm not talking about your engorged cliterous here, it's my small penis i'm on about

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:15, Reply)

Clitoris Allsorts, best of all confectionary.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:18, Reply)

I'd avoid the ones with the little nobbly bits on.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:23, Reply)

pff!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:23, Reply)

Do
they have bows on them and animal tracks on the soles?
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 18:46, Reply)

I think he replied in the wrong place
because he's distracted by laying down some dirty beats and phat rhymes.
( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:06, Reply)

DJing actually

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:08, Reply)

GAY!!!!!!!!!

( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:10, Reply)

It's entirely Mo Wax stuff, recording from vinyl.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:14, Reply)

SUPERGAY!!!!!!!

( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:17, Reply)

I'll send you a link when I'm finished.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:21, Reply)

He
gets his "D"s and his "B"s mixed up.

I blame the school he attended.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:21, Reply)

I blame his prediliction for putting mens penises in his bottom.

( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:26, Reply)

Are you suggesting he's actually into B&D rather than D&B?
Or is he playing D&D in a B&B?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:28, Reply)

Probably
more BJ's than DJs.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:30, Reply)

It's not D&B.
D&B is far far beyond my capabilities to mix. There are few greater pleasures in life though than hearing a well structured, well mixed D&B set.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:30, Reply)

You're
right, Al but I reckon he's recording the high-pitched screams of the Chinese schoolgirls he's locked in his cupboard and is whipping with his chilli-wrapped cock.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:12, Reply)

I bet they are.
Would somebody please fetch me chocolate? kthxbai
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:22, Reply)

There's
no chocolate, but there's some Clitoris Allsorts up there.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:24, Reply)

I'll pass, thanks.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:25, Reply)

They're
seventy per cent clitoris butter. Made by Mills & Boon.

No, that's not right. Something and Green.

And it's maybe batter rather than butter.

I don't know, I'm getting old.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:29, Reply)

mmm. yum.



*boaks*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:30, Reply)

Would somebody please fetch me all the details of your boring life please?
Oh, that's right, they're already here.

What's up b3th? Why the need for chocolate?
( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:26, Reply)

an X chromosome
What's up with you, baldy? Enjoy shitting in a field last weekend?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:28, Reply)

Not so much. Got very cold and wet which let to me missing two days of work this week feeling ill.
On the plus side I got to hang out with Clenders and BGB and sleep in my van, which always feels like a little adventure.
( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:30, Reply)

Excellent.
As you were.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:36, Reply)

I did have a shit whilst resting my well proportioned buttocks against the back of my van.
It was one of the most pleasant bowel movements I had all weekend as I could feel a gentle breeze wafting while I stared out over some green fields and a herd of Monkjack deer.
( Bazongaloid, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:42, Reply)

You're all class, Al.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:43, Reply)

Muntjack.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:46, Reply)

Pervert

(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:53, Reply)

Please
show your workings by means of the Brstol Stool Chart.

Actually, please don't.
(Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Sat 16 Jun 2012, 19:57, Reply)