So a cricketist is pulled over by the filth and then an hour later winds up under a tube train, nothing dodgy there then.
I wonder what he had to hide?

alt: I'm going back to Wales today and I don't want to. Newport and Coventry are two of the grimmest places I've ever been, where do you think is grim?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:56, 145 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alt: This thread

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 13:59, Reply)

Zing!

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:00, Reply)

Knob off then.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Yikes. I need some of that industrial soap with the gritty bits in it to shake off the stench of stealing your username.
Your worth around here puts your penis to shame.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)

What the hell are you on about?
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)

Alt: Wales, Scotland, The Midlands and The North.
The police do a great job. Ahem.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:00, Reply)

I'm bored and grumpy because I'm on a diet.
Being am emo alcoholic lolfatty isn't all it's cracked up to be.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)

I am having a few beer free days until Wednesday
Post Manchester I'll be back on the running now my back is OK and I'm not dropping down dead
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:02, Reply)

I have seven weeks of NO ALCOMOHOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)

Why 7 weeks?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)

After then I'm back up north. Lol

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)

haha!
Good answer
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:06, Reply)

Can you punch AA in the ear for me please, like really hard so he's got a ringing sound in it for the rest of the week
ta
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)

OK
Any other requests people?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)

ask for his bankcard as well

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)

and PIN number

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:06, Reply)

PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER NUMBER?!?!?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)

PERSAONAL IDENTIFACTION NUMBER NUMBER 5AM BARRY COUCHRAPE HAHAHA

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:17, Reply)

Give us a wave. I only live a skip, hop and a jump away.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:06, Reply)

Pop over!!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)

I can't. It's a school night.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)

sleep with the boss
he'll love it
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)

He's already shagging my mother.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)

he'll be after fresh meat

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)

Me? Fresh?

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:10, Reply)

You got dice in the mirror

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:11, Reply)

IT'S ALL RELATIVE !!!!111!!!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:11, Reply)

Incestlols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)

Oh! well done that man.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:12, Reply)

Concert is on the night -
Come on the afternoon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)

I'm at work.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)

Yeah, something dodgy going on there fo' sho
Alt:
Sorry "Bill Clay" but Corby was grim. Nantwich was too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)

"British Transport Police (BTP) said the death was not being treated as suspicious."
Well, that's that then.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)

Really? Sounds suspicious from what I heard.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)

probably gay do you reckon?
might've been caught dogging with a bloke and it was all going to come out so he done himself in
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:02, Reply)

I don't think cricket crowds would give a shit to be honest.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:02, Reply)

but they love a bit of a ball-fondling scandal

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:03, Reply)

If a rugby player can get away with it then I doubt a cricketer will be a problem.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)

yeah but he was batting for the other team

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)

*golf claps*

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)

(sound of crickets)

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Didn't think of that. Could be a whoopsie

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)

I resent the imputation that Coventry is grim!
Pooflake, me, Tangledupinblue, Bluestar, Todj1 and NickyG33 are all from Coventry!
I agree about Newport however
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)

all of those people are grim, with differing levels of depression, obesity and personal hygiene issues

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:11, Reply)

I lived there six years but to be honest I was on drugs for three of them.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:14, Reply)

It can't have been as shit as Gorton, close I imagine
I sure hope you neva called Bluestar a fat depressive, she gets angry at sortof stuff
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:16, Reply)

I never lived in Gorton. It was levenshulme.
Speaking as another fat depressive, I can understand why.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:18, Reply)

Someone else lives in Gorton then
Well done Biggers, nobody wants to live in Gorton
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:23, Reply)

i liked it when the queen inherited a house there via bona vacantia
strangely enough, she didn't move in
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:30, Reply)

menmedia.co.uk/manchestereveningnews/news/s/219695_plea_over_queens_ratinfested_house
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:32, Reply)

She'll be keeping it for Harry, I believe he's pencilled in as Duke of Manchester

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:37, Reply)

I went through Coventry on a train.
looked shit.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:13, Reply)

so many shitholes, so little time
widnes is pretty grim. you can smell it from the motorway.

seedley, in salford - "i'd need a fucking gun to live here, love" as i was told by the 15th doley to reject his free accommodation when i was a letting agent.

bromley-by-bow, where i lived as a student. even the alsatians walk around there in pairs. and it's no better, years later.

welwyn-garden-city/miltonkeynes/any "new town" - perhaps not so much grim as soul-crushingly lacking in character
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:18, Reply)

i've got an itchy tongue swipe
what causes that?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:19, Reply)

You been telling porky pies.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:20, Reply)

the internet reckons i might be allergic to the banana i just ate
i hope i don't die :/
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:23, Reply)

don't
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:29, Reply)

SUCH CRUELTY

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Licking a cat's bumhole

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:20, Reply)

what?
how? is it possible for your tongue to itch?

eeeow.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:29, Reply)

I think he means tingle.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:32, Reply)

yeah it tingled

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)

now my thumb is tingling
stroke?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Go down on a girl with thrush

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:46, Reply)

haven't done that for a few weeks, must be the banana thing

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:50, Reply)

Poor Laura :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:51, Reply)

laura's alright, she's just a bit fat
and got imputago and scabies and stuff
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:08, Reply)

AIDS

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:32, Reply)

thats what i expected, that'll be it
i hope they bury me with my kindle and all those uncashed cheques
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Welwyn Garden City is fucking horrible
Welwyn (the little town next to it) is lovely
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:20, Reply)

i hate places that look like a giant cookie cutter housing estate
no character, nothing interesting to look at, just cheap houses that won't last even 100 years :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:29, Reply)

i forgot about slough
but kroney's FACE has reminded me of it.

shudder
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)

My face is soulless, characterless
and full of pikeys?
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:38, Reply)

The next fifteen years will pass by in a blur
don't worry
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:39, Reply)

you'll even get to knock up one of the locals who hangs round the offy so you'll get a council flat then

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I've already seen a potential future wife at the local.
Pink tracky, Croydon facelift, chain smoker, heavy makeup and a big old wobbly gut.

She's a hottie.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:43, Reply)

lure her back to yours for a game of top trumps 'TNG'
or a couple of bottles of WKD, whichever really
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:45, Reply)

All of kent
literally, all of it. Kent is a shithole
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:35, Reply)

Kent is mearly in the way when one is trying to get to France

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:39, Reply)

So yesterday my one year old punched me in the face
and forced my glasses up in to my eye socket causing two puncture wounds. I have a mate in the MET and he tells me he was a two pin din plug rapist.

I went to Plymouth once if the rest of England is as shit I am glad I live in Cornwall
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:35, Reply)

Newquuay is fucking horrid, as is redruth

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)

Exeter was fairly nice
I got horrendously drunk there a few years ago
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:41, Reply)

Newquay is horrid and Redruth is our rival town and can fuck right off
Exeter isn't Cornwall
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Darn Sarf innit?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:47, Reply)

The rest of Cornwall is lovely
I spent many a happy summer in Rock and Padstow as a boy
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:48, Reply)

Many a summer in boys like a Rock.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:55, Reply)

I could smell what he was cooking

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:56, Reply)

He's had his pads stowed a few times

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Spent many a summer in Padstein with p-rick.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:57, Reply)

This post makes no sense

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:41, Reply)

he's had animal sex you know, it doesn't need to make sense

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:41, Reply)

I see
Thanks Rory!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:42, Reply)

What doesn't make sense?
I can explain for you if you like
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:46, Reply)

he means what you know

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:47, Reply)

I got laid AND punched in the face Rory!

( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:52, Reply)

sexy
sportscow has promised to punch AA in the ear once he finishes giving him a back door servicing, I hope he enjoys it as much as you did
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Hang on!
I wasn't aware of the bumming bit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:57, Reply)

He's only small, follow him into the bogs, bang his head off the wall, and he won't know what's hit him

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:59, Reply)

The Foxtrot seduction technique

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:59, Reply)

it goes on in Norwich like all the time

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:00, Reply)

the "two pin din racist" bit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:47, Reply)

'rapist'
and it means a paedophile, YOU IDIOT
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:49, Reply)

You are a paedophile, you are a nonce, you're a perv,
you're a slot badger, you're a two pin din plug, you're a bush dodger, you're a small bean regarder, you're an unabummer, you're a nut administrator, you're a bent ref, you're the crazy world of Arthur Brown, you're a fence foal, you're a free willy, you're a chimney bottler, you're a bunty man, you're a shrub rocketeer...
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:51, Reply)

Still nothing.....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:55, Reply)

he probably raped small boys with his bat
alt: Anywhere you lay your hat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:44, Reply)

How many?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:51, Reply)

baker's dozen

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:52, Reply)

SIX!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Thank you Chompy
I knew I could rely on you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:54, Reply)

I messed up, I'm sorry
I hope you can get over it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:54, Reply)

*consults Duckman Lewis*
Yes, just this once
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Thanks sporters, I'm nott sure where the boundries of acceptability are any morew

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:57, Reply)

Over the rope is a boundary

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:58, Reply)

thanks for clearing that up, I felt i had slipped a bit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 14:59, Reply)

What four?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:00, Reply)

He probably enjoyed the sound of bouncing balls off Will(ow)
Or some shit like that.

Alt: Widnes is fucking horrific, as is Warrington, Fazakerley, much of Skem, etc
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Fazakerley sounds like the home town of a wizard.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:07, Reply)

or a drunk trying to say 'exactly'

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:11, Reply)

It has two cemetaries and a prison
I dropped strett view randomly and the firts thing shown was a board up row of shops
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:12, Reply)

It is a hideous place

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:36, Reply)

so one of my colleagues has just brought back 3 giant milka bars from holiday
one has popcorn in it, one is the triple layered milk/dark/white fiasco, and one of them has biscuit and cream in it.

which one should i sample?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:12, Reply)

You know the correct answer to a question with multiple options, swipe.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:13, Reply)

this isn't about sex
this is about not taking so much that my colleagues are left with none!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:15, Reply)

fuck 'em, they'd stab you in the back as soon as they can

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:16, Reply)

But isn't chocolate supposed to be better than sex
according to these lame women's magazines?
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:16, Reply)

both of them can make you feel sick afterwards

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:18, Reply)

fudgetunnellols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:23, Reply)

cram and biscuit one, and wing some over this way i'm starving

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:13, Reply)

Biscuit and cream.
You've got cream written all over your face.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:13, Reply)

you're like the worst kind of uncle

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:16, Reply)

an aunt is the worst kind of uncle

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:17, Reply)

The worst kind of uncle is your brother.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:19, Reply)

He's dead, he is excused from present buying

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:26, Reply)

The one poking out of my arse

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:22, Reply)

hello fake bloke

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Apparently it's himjim

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:24, Reply)

whobob?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:26, Reply)

totally not himjim

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:26, Reply)

It's Peter Duncan

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:27, Reply)

i liked their song 'watch us wreck the mic, watch us wreck the mic, psyche'

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:28, Reply)

whorach?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:27, Reply)

I'm unconvinced but that's the word on bathe street

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:29, Reply)

definitely not him
noel is a possibility.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:30, Reply)

ask it what its stance on pakistani men is

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:33, Reply)

Who is real?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 15:38, Reply)