What's the best kind of sausage? Cumberland, lincoln, Chorizio?
alt: The French are great, discuss.

altalt: You're walking through a forest and come to a clearing, it's dark with a dank mist hanging in the air. Your eyes adjust and you see a figure crouched over a body, it's hairy back drenched in sweat and blood. The creature looks up at you and you realise it's Jeff, his cock quivering and erect like a recently landed javlin but with jizz all over it. His eyes glint in the darkness as he looks up at you, his muscles tense, he does a another little jizz...what do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:36, 119 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Altalt: Buy him a cider.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:37, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHA
proper working from hojme lol
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:38, Reply)

you are eaten by a grue.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:45, Reply)

No way, I'd use my torch.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Black pudding
AltAlt: phone the RSPCA.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:39, Reply)

Merguez. We covered this yesterday
anyone who says otherwise is an absolute fleet of berties.

altalt: wank until you're spaffing dust?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:39, Reply)

Definitive answer is definitive.
End of thread.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:40, Reply)

Are you referring to his altalt answer?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:01, Reply)

No, his sausage answer.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:09, Reply)

Not a fan,
although they are the best sausages on bbq's. They are NOT allowed on fry ups.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:40, Reply)

I know but no one really joined in

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:41, Reply)

they're fuckers, NA. Fuckers. Kill them all and let God sort it out.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:41, Reply)

good plan
Is that from a religeous siege?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:43, Reply)

No idea mate

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Arnaud (or Arnau) Amalric (died 1225) was a Cistercian church leader who took a prominent role in the Albigensian Crusade. He is remembered for allegedly giving advice to a soldier wondering how to distinguish the Catholic friendlies from the Cathar enemies to just "Kill them all. For the Lord knows them that are His."
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:45, Reply)

One of the first of history's true pragmatists.

( Kroney, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Chorizio nice but overrated.
If you're not frying it, it's shit. Sauscison is nicer raw.

I think it's the cooking and quality of the sausage that is most important rather than the "type"
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:39, Reply)

If your chorizo is over-rated, buy some proper chorizo.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:41, Reply)

Fried it is much better, especially with some black pudding, crusty bread and Rioja
*drools*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:42, Reply)

It's meant to be used in cooking, so of course it is.
You don't get many people going "Oh, I'm partial to a bit of cumberland sausage, but they're not that good raw"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:43, Reply)

The larger ones are sold in wafer thin slices as a salami and are not intended for cooking.
As I understand it there are two distincly different types: 'cooking chorizo' and this other one. I dislike it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:00, Reply)

Not a great sandwich filler IMO, but as I said in my post, quality is more important than type.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:43, Reply)

It's a sausage for cooking. Why would you eat it raw?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:44, Reply)

It's cured meat badger, I don't see why you're arguing about this.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:46, Reply)

because it's wednesday, chompy.
Wednesday lunchtime is "argue on the internet time"

anyway, we aren't arguing. I argee it's not good raw. I'm just saying that I wouldn't use it raw.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:50, Reply)

both are acceptable

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:47, Reply)

My German friends think what we call sausage is hilarious.
Alt. Good Cheese, Good wine, Good work ethic. Whats not to like

Alt Alt. I'd use the legless defence
( Peej, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:40, Reply)

I've no idea why
some of their sausages are fucking abomonations.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:42, Reply)

i don't really want my sausage to be white

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Quite so. Quite so.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:50, Reply)

So what you're saying is: you love black cock?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:55, Reply)

well once I had "gone black"
I found it very hard to "go back"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:56, Reply)

This is a "recognised phenomenon"

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:57, Reply)

spellcasting:
C-O-N-D-O-M
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:43, Reply)

What are those little ones you get in pubs sometimes that look like fox turds? Those ones.
Alt: I like the French. None of them personally, but as a nation.

Altalt: There's a guy at work with a hairy back. I didn't know Jeff knew him.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:45, Reply)

I like it when they do a gallic shrug and insult americans

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:46, Reply)

Dunno why they insult Americans
They're just as responsible for that mess as we are.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:47, Reply)

ah don like der 'amburgers
*puffs on a gitane*

allo allo was is by far the best historical drama the bbc ever done.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:49, Reply)

Best documentary EVARR.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:58, Reply)

FREEDOM FRIES!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:57, Reply)

Don't be hatin yourself K-chien

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:46, Reply)

I'm listening to Faith No More's cover of "War Pigs"
Nought else is of interest to me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:46, Reply)

there is a chance for you here to make a hilarious nod towards your love of teh cock

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Like they'd be able to better the original.
What a fucking waste of time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:52, Reply)

I disagree
on the waste of time part. Not that I wish to dispute the quality of the original, but their cover has enough of their own style on it to make it a superb listen without repeatedly thinking of Sabbath
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:59, Reply)

CHeap ones that set the grill alight on some tesco value white bread (medium sliced) with some ketchup from Aldi
Alt: Good things, bad things, yadda yadda

Altalt: Fuck off Steve Jackson
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:49, Reply)

VEGETARIAN SAUSAGES!!!!
Alt: I like their healthy disdain for all other people, their belief that lunch should take several hours and their ability to live on excessive cheese, wine and cigarettes, yet still be healthier than the average Brit (obv this doesn't include Plumdozer).
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:50, Reply)

I like how they speak foreign and have a council to make our proper words sound foreign.
ordinateur.
haha, wankers.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Alt: here's an excellent Frenchman:
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/9365640/Count-Robert-de-La-Rochefoucauld.html

I also have some French blood on my paternal grnadmother's side, some aristos call 'du Boncier' or something, according to my pa.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:52, Reply)

Wild boar, I'd say.
I've got some lamb & mint ones at the minute which are quite nice too.

Alt: France is a lovely country, however the few people there that realised the group were English ruined it by being incredibly rude.

Alt Alt: Throw a stick and shout 'Fetch'
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:52, Reply)

I bet you like real ale an all.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:53, Reply)

but he's only like 20 so its cool and hip

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:54, Reply)

christ, bloody hipsters.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:55, Reply)

Yes, I am very much a fan of the stuff.
Why do you ask?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:57, Reply)

figures.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:57, Reply)

stop bulliyn him
it makes him stand out and seem interesting and cool in front of his bacardi breezer drinking friends, he gets all the ladies
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:58, Reply)

I bet he loves a smirnoff ice down the jazz club,

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:00, Reply)

or a nice bottle of Metz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:02, Reply)

there was nothing scary about the judder man
people are dicks
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:03, Reply)

Innit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Christ no, I don't drink that fizzy piss
I drink ale because it tastes better than lager, and as a bonus, is often cheaper. I'm also fortunate to have a fantastic ale pub round the corner from my house.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:03, Reply)

I commend your taste
but calling it "ale" is for beardy, LARPing pricks. It's beer.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:11, Reply)

Fair point
I am certainly neither of those.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:11, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:16, Reply)

I drink ales as well.
My local is great for cask ales, and the Tap does 20 or so ales.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:13, Reply)

You see, AA?
This is EXACTLY what I was talking about.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:14, Reply)

The one round the corner from me has 4 casks at a time, but they change so regularly that if you only go in once a week, there's a good chance you won't get the same one again.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:14, Reply)

I have an excellent supplier nearby, there seems no need to stick with standard pork sausages when there can be others
Beef & Horseradish were offered recently, but they weren't great.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:11, Reply)

t l
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:55, Reply)

Almost impossible to call but Argentinian black pudding is a serious contender.
Merguez are indeed also in the league, but Turkish sucuk is also in there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:55, Reply)

fucking hell.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:56, Reply)

...it's Soft Cell.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:57, Reply)

GAY

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:58, Reply)

YOU SURE ARE!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:01, Reply)

LOL, no seriously, you're very gay.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:01, Reply)

he liked that gay rape murder man who raped 1000 men
open and shut case
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:02, Reply)

case anus
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:04, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1661939
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:02, Reply)

I'm not joking now.
I think you're a gay.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:03, Reply)

youn a gay!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:42, Reply)

your all gay.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:56, Reply)

No
You're all gay
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:57, Reply)

i couldn't give a fuck, it's just minced pig in a tube
alt i've got nothing against the french

altalt i'll call the police or something
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:57, Reply)

put a bit of lorne in a roll with some fucking ketchup.
christ Q, what the fuck is this lot banging on about?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:59, Reply)

sausages, mmps
sausages like they're the most important thing in the whole fucking world
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:00, Reply)

poor show :(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:01, Reply)

Not to a guy who runs a small artisan sausage making business

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:01, Reply)

thanks for playing Q

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 11:59, Reply)

np bbz xxx

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:00, Reply)

There cannot be one kind of sausage that is "best".
That's like saying there is one alcoholic beverage that's best. For bangers and mash, I am liking Toulouse sausages at the moment.

Altalt: Fucking run.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:06, Reply)

There is for you. It's called shandy.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:11, Reply)

I can't go on the shorts like you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:12, Reply)

They're only shorts to you and me.
To him they are full length trousers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:13, Reply)

I tend not to drink spirits, I've seen the impact that brandy has had on Monty.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:17, Reply)

This last couple of years I've found a real joy in mixing spirits with ginger beer and lime
Dark rum, whisky, and bourbon are all lovely in this manner.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:20, Reply)

I prefer to stick to beer or wine. Or port.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:21, Reply)

The only things I tend to avoid drinking is Vodka and White Rum
Aside from that, I drink most things.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:24, Reply)

spirits with mixers?
I hope you only use mixers with shit whiskies.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:26, Reply)

Yes, very much so
I know that I don't have a clue when it comes to them, the only one off the top of my head I've had with ginger was Grant's.

/RebeccaBrooksLOLZ
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:27, Reply)

proper whiskies are boss.
Shite like Bells, Teachers and Famous Grouse are only suitable for hot toddies and drinking with coke.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:32, Reply)

Christ, fuckers like you are so tedious
'proper whiskies are boss'? spend the rest of your days fucking the fuck off and you might get close to how much you should fuck off. twat
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:35, Reply)

PD doesn't approve of my taste in whisky :(

( Kroney, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:36, Reply)

PD should be too busy fucking the fuck off to give a fuck. the fuck

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:37, Reply)

what whiskies do you like?
I know cock all about bourbon BTW.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:39, Reply)

oh babygirl
That's a lot of rage over an innocuous, totally inoffensive post.

Why don't you just get on your knees for me? You prissy little bitch.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:38, Reply)

I don't hugely enjoy whiskies as is, hence why I go for the crap ones, and have them with mixers
I wouldn't ruin a decent one with ginger.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:36, Reply)

I didn't start drinking it until my late 20s.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:41, Reply)

I prefer the 'regular' premium pork rossages.
The Toulouse is a mite too garlicky for my refined tastebuds.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:12, Reply)

At the moment pork chipolatas are my favourite breakfast sausages. Beef sausages work best in toad-in-the-hole.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:15, Reply)

I have an aversion to beef in sausages for some reason.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:16, Reply)

You simply haven't had decent ones.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:17, Reply)

I agree with monty here
it's just not waht I expect from a sausage also the texture is off
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:23, Reply)

Have you seen this fat fucker's recipe recommendation?
b3ta.com/questions/cookbook/post1661980
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:24, Reply)

That's just crap and lazy

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:25, Reply)

I like chorizo and good old wieners.
Alt: I like the French as an idea, whenever I meet one though they are tits.
AltAlt: feed jeff puppy.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:33, Reply)

How interesting bob, you wiener loving gaylord
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:42, Reply)

I think we should doaako.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:47, Reply)

It's a deal, love you bro.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:49, Reply)

It's been a wild ride.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 Jul 2012, 12:51, Reply)