OH MY DAYZ, I PULLED IN THE HOSPiTAL ! I GOT SOMEONE'S NUMBER.
A women looking after her mother, both arabic women, the mum in a hijab, the daughter in just a headscarf. she said I was the first person to make her mother laugh in weeks. High lights of my wit include

- The mum couldn't believe I wasn't an arab man so I said "I'm english/jewish, my mum is english/jewish, my dad is english/jewish... the milkman though? Maybe he was turkish"
- "It really doesn't matter, we're all following one of the sons of abriham. We'll bring the chicken soup, you bring the baklava and hulva and we'll let the rest wash the dishes after".
- She kept on saying I was so young and then blushing, a few times....so I said half your age plus seven, is that under 28?

I really impressed her when her mum understood some of my turkish when I was showing off, and then the mum said something that was replied with what was ovbously "MUM ! STOP THAT ! " So I replied with one of the two only arabic phrases I know, "Hoysh gah heluyah kolheeda", which I think roughly translates to "Oh how beautiful is freedom".

There was lots of talking, we were talking for a few hours, but I got her number !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:02, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

nice work!
You're on fire with the ladies at the moment.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:03, Reply)

Way to go Double P
You the man, Man
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:06, Reply)

I reckon it's a bit like jumping out a plane for the first time.
You know, right before you jump, some people have the "I know everything would be fine, there is still a bit of danger, but I'll jump anyway". That's normal people. They then jump and have a good time. Or their parachoots fail and they die.

Then there are people like me, my final thought before I jump out a plane would be "Ok, so what if I die? It's no big deal, mum will be upset, so will a few mates.". When I've finally given up and don't care anymore, I suddenly find myself going for it, 'cus I don't care what happens.

Eaither way is good.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:33, Reply)

So are you going to take her out for dinner?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:07, Reply)

Don't mantion Bacaine to her though.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:11, Reply)

maybe possibly ! How long should it be before I text her?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:18, Reply)

Send her a text tomorrow.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:20, Reply)

OMG WHAT SHALL I SAY?
She lives in Swiss Cottage.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:34, Reply)

Explain how unfair it is the US using planes to knock out key Taliban feckers.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:36, Reply)

Todays been really lucky for me.
- A ladybug landed on my nose and I brushed it off as I thought it was a bug, it landed on my belly and I saw it was a lady bug, so I brushed it onto my hand, said 'hello', then crossed the road to put it in a bush.
- A white feather fell right next to me when I was walking down the road.
- I got my favorite canuuluation guy in the whole hospital, considering there are about 20 of them, thats pretty lucky.
- I got talking to a nice girl and got her number and she got mine.
- I've got bacon, frank, chips, beens and a fried egg for dinner.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:21, Reply)

Then you awoke from the anaesthetic, realised it was a dream, tried to have a wank before the dream faded and then sobbed in to your pillow when you realised how pitiful your real existence is.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:07, Reply)

I was watching Game Of Thrones and geophrie's mother was saying to the older of the two stark girls...
... about how she dreaded the night she got married, and the Stark girl goes "But you _loved_ the king !" and she goes "Yes, yes, and you will love georphry too".

Is that how it works?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:24, Reply)

I mean, if you were royalty outside of your brain as well as inside it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:25, Reply)

I am but a mere commoner, inside and outside of my tremendous, high IQ brain.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:33, Reply)

High?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:33, Reply)

3 times a day, thank god for opiats. Can I get an a-men.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:34, Reply)

With your luck with women you might try to get a-man

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:37, Reply)

You good get a go on both of them
Like an Arab Jew sandwich, or as its technically known, The West Bank
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 20:15, Reply)

oh click

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 20:32, Reply)

Hahahaa

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 20:39, Reply)