I don't think I own anything tacky, Mainly because my personal possessions consist of CD's DVD's Computers and Guitars
I guess my Ibanez Destroyer is the Tackiest guitar I own.

The wife however has tonnes of tacky shit like porcelain dragons and fake flowers and a mills and boon collection.
( Peej, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 8:50, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Nothing wrong with a good female erotica collection is there?

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 8:52, Reply)

Mills and Boon Moderns are definitely tacky

( Peej, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 8:55, Reply)

My gran used to read Mills and Boon.
They seemed to be obsessed with octors and nurses.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)

Damn those eight armed medical professionals

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)

Shut up it's still early

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)

:p

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)

what's an octor?

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:01, Reply)

They appear in plays in New Zealand.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:04, Reply)

bloody hell, I didn't realise New Zealand was cultured enough for plays to occur there!

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:06, Reply)

This from the country that gave us Neighbours

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:16, Reply)

This from the woman who still watches it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:16, Reply)

This from the man who wanks over "Toady" every night

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Neighbours is awesome.
But it's hardly culture, is it?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:18, Reply)

Fuck off, if I'd been able to, I would have banned it from ever being created.
Sick filth that it is.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:18, Reply)

And deny me my nightly Toady-wank?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:20, Reply)

I've clicked this so it ends up out of context on the popular page

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:21, Reply)

As have I

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:23, Reply)

I love Neighbours.
You can't beat twenty minutes of shit telly to cheer you up.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:20, Reply)

yeah you can, it's called turn the tellybox off and have a wank.
Much more enjoyable and you actually get something out of it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:25, Reply)

Perhaps, like me, she likes to wank while watching Neighbours
See above.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:31, Reply)

my gran has a ton of ones about cowboys

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)

I have a theory that if you take "The Sultans forbidden Bride"
and cross out Sultan and Bride throughout and replace it with Emperor and Lover you can sell it as a new book. I believe that every Mills and Boon is the same book. The wife tells me that in nearly everyone the woman gets pregnant and they stay together
( Peej, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:05, Reply)

I heard once they have writers' retreats for Mills and Boon writers.
At the beginning of the week they give you our characters' names, and at the end of the week you give them a written novel.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:08, Reply)

I reckon I could write one
but I doubt there's any money in it
( Peej, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)

i recently read a romance novel where the sex scene was so subtle i was confused about what was actually going on

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Needs MOAR "ramming" and "shitpipe"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 8:57, Reply)

at least then i would know!

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 8:58, Reply)

I flicked through one of her mills and boons and was amused by the line
He ran his finger down the valley of her cleavage.

She also has a book called Hot Type which does have lots of ramming up the shitpipe.
( Peej, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:02, Reply)

Most female erotica seems to actively shun the words 'penis' and 'vagina'
It's all 'throbbing members' and 'secret hearts',
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:05, Reply)

Her wetness
Her moistness, her sex, he stood proudly to attention etc etc. Except this hot type book where June has her quivering asshole fucked several times.
( Peej, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Keep going...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:08, Reply)

pffffffft
No pun intended
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:09, Reply)

How does an asshole quiver?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)

tazer

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:14, Reply)

You mean no-one has even made your asshole quiver?
You haven't lived!
( Peej, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:14, Reply)

I had a good fart once. Does that count?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:15, Reply)

Put arrows in it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:15, Reply)

What a terribly highbrow joke.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:16, Reply)

secret heart!
It's all "her heat" and "sex"
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:08, Reply)

my fave is from regency period, "privy member"
Phwoar
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:10, Reply)

he surveyed her quivering quim with salacious eyes and she couldn't help but self sauce there and then on the table.
"your cunny is wetter than an otter's pocket!" he boomed in his rich baritone, "Now I will destroy you!"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:13, Reply)

"I was sweating more than a blind lesbian in a fish shop as he held the lit candle just above my pelvis furby "

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:26, Reply)

We have our first dragon! Is it holding a crystal ball?
Who's going to admit to having bought a ceremonial Klingon knife to dsplay on their bunglaow wall?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Kroney?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Monty.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:00, Reply)

Yes we have a dragon holding a crystal ball
Its horrible, I think it even has a wind up music thing under it maybe. She has about 50 different dragons.
( Peej, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:03, Reply)

You've bascially killed this thread, no one will be able to top this

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:07, Reply)

I saw one about 8 years back that I thought was 'cool'
Still very glad I didn't actually buy it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:28, Reply)

at least you have had the excuse of only being 7 years old

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 31 Jul 2012, 9:37, Reply)