Curryyyyyyy,
I'm off down to london tomorrow, any tips? I know I have to stand on the left on escalators and if I get lost I have to immediatly stop in the footpath and check a map.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:42, 7 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

If your travelcard plays up, make sure you stand in the tube gates and put it through again and again
sometimes it works on the fifth or sixth try
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:45, Reply)

Writing this down.
I'm going to be taking a drag along suitcase as well, I'll be sure to leave it hanging out of tube doors.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:47, Reply)

Good thinking.
Also, repeatedly press the 'open' buttons on the tube doors as they definitely work and are in no way redundant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:48, Reply)

I'm going to say "hello" to everyone who gets on my tube carridge as well.
To make them feel comfortable.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:49, Reply)

Keep a really tight hold of your rucksack when on the tube and keep looking around suspiciously in case of bag thieves

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:58, Reply)

This is so right.
Also, the areas at the bottom of the stairs leading onto the tube platforms make handy places to have mini-conferences with all your friends.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:47, Reply)

I've heard that the tube maps are best read by running my fingers physically over them.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:48, Reply)

Yes, the 'Helen Keller' technique is essential to minimise delays.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:49, Reply)

That's right.
Make sure the map is fucking gigantic as well - and always wear a slightly too-small plastic policeman's hat, as this will help you blend in with the locals.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:46, Reply)

I've bought a "keep calm and carry on" baseball cap to blend in.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:47, Reply)

Liking this.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:48, Reply)

Don't walk in a straight line.
Weave around randomly. Also throw your arm out sideways to point at stuff on the short periods that you do walk in a straight line. Speed up, slow down and stop for no discernable purpose without bothering to move to the side of the pavement.
( Kroney, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:48, Reply)

If in a group of people, be sure to walk abreast.
If people don't walk in the gutter to get around you, stop and stare at them incomprehendingly.
( Kroney, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:51, Reply)

remember to stand right in front of the opening tube doors and try and push your way on before anyone has got off.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:48, Reply)

try standing in doorways to shelter form the inevitable rain, you'll be doing everyone else a favour by letting them know not to leave that premisis by the exit you are standing in as they'll get wet

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:51, Reply)

I'm going to loudly point out the landmarks to my girlfriend.
But deliberatly get them wrong.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:54, Reply)

I like how you mentioned that you had a girlfriend

(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:56, Reply)

It's a sock puppet I've drawn breasts on

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:58, Reply)

girlfriend victim.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 14:01, Reply)

Oh wait, is she coming?
Do think she might need a shower while down here?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 14:02, Reply)

I doubt it sorry Gonz

(PsychoChomp, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Remember, "I have a bomb" is a term of endearment when carrying a backpack with some cables sticking out and back down under your shirt.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 13:58, Reply)

If you happen to have any shopping bags, a child or a bike on you...
... then the best place to put it is in an empty seat in rush hour.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 3 Aug 2012, 14:00, Reply)