Enough of the nonces.
When was the last time someone said something to you that made you feel great - and what did they say?

Alt: so, are you looking forward to afternoon tea?
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:18, 137 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

You sound like you're being treated for depression

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Help me stop the voices Rory, please help.

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Rory are the voices

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:25, Reply)

Are they loud (Rory) voices? Like a lion's loud roar?

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)

I GET THIS JOKE!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)

Did I leave enough clues?
Also, don't buy that Hendrix simulator thingy (from the other day) - don't cheat!
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:36, Reply)

To be fair
You'd never get the individual effects for anywhere near the same money, James.
Also, they don't make the Experience pedal anymore anyway, so they're not that easy to come by.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:50, Reply)

there is one in my brothers shop.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Wow, how much?
Also, what sort of shop? Knocking? Paper?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:53, Reply)

I dunno,
and it's a shop called "professional music technology"
Which is well LOL because the initials are PMT and are painted in huge letters on the window.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:57, Reply)

Nice

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:00, Reply)

He he! You two are great!
No, I just mean that you can get fairly close to 'his sound' by messing around with a mixer and some software - but I admit that the clip on the link sounded good.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Ah, well that's true enough
I'm a dunce when it comes to the computer stuff though. That's what Baldmonkey's for.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:01, Reply)

I've heard of this 'Baldmonkey', it thought it was just a legend.
Are you saying the legends are true?
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:07, Reply)

He's all too real I'm afraid
Although I am planning on murdering him and making it look like an accident. That'll be well LOL.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:11, Reply)

SOFTWARE?
you are cretin.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:17, Reply)

Mainly the skillz though...

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:19, Reply)

Slice both your ears off, then 'they' can't speak to you, alternatively jump in front of a tube at St Pauls on a weekday about 8am is the best time

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)

*Licks pencil*
*Makes a note* - thanks for the tip!
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:31, Reply)

My mum wants to come to the B4sh.
:o(((((
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:22, Reply)

Is your mum not cool?
I thought all mums were cool...
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:25, Reply)

She's alright I suppose.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:26, Reply)

It's just going to be awkward
What with how many different members of this board she has slept with, despite being a lesbian.
Also, she looks exactly like Pam St Clement.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)

So she is cool.

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:28, Reply)

You're wrong actually, HA!!!
She looks like John Noakes ACTUALLY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:36, Reply)

It just gets better and better!

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:38, Reply)

I heard Hattie Jacques

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Not another one hearing voices.
What is she telling you to do?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:40, Reply)

Kill Eric Sykes
I've tried explaining, but...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:58, Reply)

DOWN SHED

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:42, Reply)

that's where monty had to sleep growing up

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)

That would be lovely.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:47, Reply)

There was a very pretty girl today who flagged me down in the street.
She was really excited to see me, and keen to ask how I was doing. We hit it off immediately, and she told me all about the charity she works for and everything.

It seemed like a really worthy cause, and it felt like we really connected, so I gave her my credit card details and made a donation.

I hope we'll see each other again soon!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:25, Reply)

Afternoon Gonz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)

I really feel like I've made a friend.
Who knows where it could lead!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:29, Reply)

Nice one!
*high fives!*
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)

I think I might have fallen for her a little bit.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:29, Reply)

I know how you feel...
...Nice bit of chat, she's interested in what you have to say - it all looks good... Then Bam! 'let's talk about money' - you're practically married.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:34, Reply)

I've got Katrina And The Waves in my head now!
I'm in love!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:36, Reply)

Just think of Eurovision, just think ot Eurovision.

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Oh Christ.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Alright Vag,
howsit going?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:44, Reply)

He's not even replied!
Such a fucking wanker.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:49, Reply)

I think he doesn't like me very much.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Hi Windy
Soz - dint see this 'til now. How's you? How could I possibly not like you? Did you have a nice weekend?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:01, Reply)

^ INSINCERE

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)

^ INSECURE

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:05, Reply)

^"YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL "

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:16, Reply)

I'm very sad today
Just found out that a mate's 2 year old daughter has died
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:33, Reply)

:(((((

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:35, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:35, Reply)

Oh no.
I am really, genuinely sorry to hear that :(
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:37, Reply)

100% sure I'm posting this in the wrong place, just not full of lol today now

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:39, Reply)

No, not at all, don't worry about that.
I don't know what to say, but it's better to let it out. May I ask the circumstances?
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:49, Reply)

out of respect for your sadness I won't make a sloppy seconds comment

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:39, Reply)

always with the kids stuff lighty

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:40, Reply)

He can't help himself the fucking paedo monster.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:48, Reply)

I need help, Monty
well, kids, but also help.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:00, Reply)

You dorty wee cont, ye.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)

that's awful, was she ill?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:43, Reply)

no, people just die for no reason

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:47, Reply)

She much have been run over you insensitive bastard

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:51, Reply)

or dropped on her head like you were

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:55, Reply)

No it was suicide you witless Deacon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:48, Reply)

lol at this.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:50, Reply)

To be fair it could've been an accident

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Thanks th, you're a solitary voice of reason in this Porridge of bullshit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:52, Reply)

Hey
It's what I do
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Shhh! I'm bullying Nakers here. Do you mind?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Or fallen down a well

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:51, Reply)

You know Lassie isn't real, right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Oh dude,
that really does suck. How is he coping? If it helps, tell him a complete stranger on the internet will do anything he can if it helps.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:44, Reply)

A client told me I did a great job the other day, much better than all the other teaboys
Made me feel a bit bad for cracking one off into his cuppa but you can't keep looking back.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:33, Reply)

You should or someone will catch you spaffing in the teapot

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:40, Reply)

And destroy the whole point of a dangerwank?
Never...
( Frisbee OG wanker, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Maybe that's why,
A 'little' extra in the morning?
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:40, Reply)

First Andrew now Andy, it must be fat fuckwit day today

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:42, Reply)

I have no idea what this is about

( Frisbee OG wanker, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:47, Reply)

I forgot your name

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:53, Reply)

Well now you just look silly, don't you

( Frisbee OG wanker, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:59, Reply)

This will the nicest thing said to me today

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Your tard-english translator must be broken

( Frisbee OG wanker, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:05, Reply)

Nice one Alan.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:47, Reply)

No real names plz

( Frisbee OG wanker, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Is your legal blog still going?
I read it once, it was fucking shit
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:50, Reply)

Tbh if you're enjoying it and you're not into the legal stuff, you may have something wrong with you

( Frisbee OG wanker, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:51, Reply)

Soz 'Nala'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:50, Reply)

I feel a lot better now I've had an e-mail from my boss confirming that everything is cool.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:42, Reply)

Alright WP?
Why was there any uncertainty as to how cool things were before he emailed?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Well,
there was some cash and stock going missing from the Pub, I didn't know as the cheeky blighter that is stealing is being very clever, so the end of week reports popped on to my doorstep this morning, and within seconds of me opening it, i get a phonecall from head office fraud squad, followed by my boss. Panic ensues. Thankfully, after a lengthy phonecall with Barclaycard, and some serious paperwork surfing, I'm in the clear, and have managed to calm down my boss enough with a plan to find the grubby little tealeaf.
I know who it is, just gotta catch 'em now.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:50, Reply)

Oh come off it.
It's you, we all know it's you. Head Office know it's you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:55, Reply)

Head office don't know their arse from their elbow,

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Mate, you're going to prison.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:01, Reply)

THERE IS NO PRISON THAT COULD HOLD ME!!!!!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Are you going to be all Columbo with them?
You know chatting all friendly, like, so they think that you can't possibly suspect them. Then right at the last minute, just as you are about to leave and they think they've got away with it, POW! you hit them with the "Just one more thing..." question and the game is up for them.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:59, Reply)

no.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:01, Reply)

A sensible approach.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)

I'll probably just pull off the till reports that are proof of their dodgy actions,
and combine that with the CCTV footage of him taking the money from the till. Then call a disciplinary hearing, present the evidence to him, confirm that theft is Gross Misconduct and fire him on the spot.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Will you wear a raincoat though?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:09, Reply)

it's all i ever wear.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)

and beat him with a barstool on the way out

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)

are you going to beat them with a bar stool untill they confess?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:05, Reply)

no.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:06, Reply)

are you going to team up with your police man son and fight crime while saving a patient's life?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:09, Reply)

I don't have a son.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)

I don't think your plan is going to work very well in that case

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:10, Reply)

This is the worst lunchtime detective drama I've ever seen.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:14, Reply)

Your mum told me I filled her in a way she hadn't felt since her trip to camp bastion
Alt: I have had cake, now I shall have tea. True story
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:44, Reply)

what?
that makes almost no sense at all Apey.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Edited for you bbz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:46, Reply)

thanks man.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Nothing Nakers types ever does.
Standard response it to just call him a bent spastic.
It seems to fulfil him somehow.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:47, Reply)

VALIDATION!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:49, Reply)

i.e. not at all?
You might want to cover yourself up Mr Ape
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:55, Reply)

Nobody has ever said anything to me that has made me "feel great"

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:52, Reply)

personality horse make me cum

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:54, Reply)

If anything I find this alarming

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:57, Reply)

I think you're great and you have two great hats

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:55, Reply)

These are kind words
but I don't feel any different, sorry
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 15:57, Reply)

Oh man!
What would it take? You're very funny and that's something to get knickers wet.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:05, Reply)

You could try a lifetime of subtle pyschological bullying
I find that exhilirating
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:13, Reply)

If you're not 'comedying' me,
Please feel free to gaz...
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:21, Reply)

Haha, well that's really kind
But no, I'm fine. Thank you though.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)

You don't have AIDS after all!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:00, Reply)

loljk you do really

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:00, Reply)

Full blown?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:01, Reply)

creeping.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:02, Reply)

At least he doesn't have Alzheimer's
No wait, I've got the joke wrong.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:03, Reply)

you really are a terrible prick.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:06, Reply)

A terrible WOMAD prick at that :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Are you going to the Bash?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:09, Reply)

Assuming that my domineering wife doesn't ruin my plans, yes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:14, Reply)

There are never any bashes near me :(
Unless you count going round Baldmonkey or Manolith's house. WHICH I DON'T!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:14, Reply)

its in london you prick,
thats close.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:19, Reply)

What am I, made of money?
Costs a fucking arm and a leg to get to and from London. Incidentally, I'm going to Wembley week after next.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:20, Reply)

It's pronounced 'Wem-ber-ley'
Hope this helps.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:22, Reply)

Wow, I'm glad you told me that
That's bound to get me out of a few scrapes with the locals
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:23, Reply)