Right,
Fuck your thread Jimbo, I've just read on Facebook that 3 people I was at school with, having recently had babies, have decided that putting amber necklaces on them will stop teething pains. HOW CAN FOSSILIZED RESIN STOP PAIN?????
What hocum and bunkum do people you know believe?

alt: What hocum and bunkum do you believe? We must have at least one new age hippy craZy who prays to some sort of moon goddess about periods?

altalt: WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:17, 132 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Altalt
I don't have a fucking problem, Sunshine.

I genuinely believe that drinking alcohol makes me drunk.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:18, Reply)

look Vag,
can you go be in someone elses thread for a bit? I'm not ready for this level of our relationship yet. Thx.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:19, Reply)

You are Danny in Grease
AICMFP.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:22, Reply)

what?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:29, Reply)

You are Danny in Grease
AICMFP.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:31, Reply)

wut?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:34, Reply)

I think he said 'You are Danny in Grease'
then went onto say 'AICMFP'
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:36, Reply)

I read it, it just made no sense

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:41, Reply)

Grease is a musical

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)

Danny must be one of the characters

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:42, Reply)

And Vagabond believes that he deserves five pounds for pointing this out
and inexplicably claiming that Windy and Danny are the same person
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:44, Reply)

It's been yet another great day for the internet here on b3ta

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)

I thought it was pretty clear

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:51, Reply)

this is all very well,
but what's the connection?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:45, Reply)

Basically, right,
Vag here is mentally unstable and really fucking irritating.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:48, Reply)

Ah. Thought it might be that.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)

In an incredibly sexy way.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)

Sexy in the same way that throat cancer is sexy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:55, Reply)

*spluff*

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)

As sexy as this?
www.loveisblindness.net/
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)

Not another one of your paedo sites is it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)

U2 slash fiction
I thought you'd enjoy it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)

No he isn't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:49, Reply)

No, I think you're right
I'm fairly sure Windy would've mentioned this before. I mean, if I were Danny in Grease I'd tell people all the time. It was a very successful movie and continues to be a critically acclaimed musical all over the world.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)

It's the sort of thing we'd know about, were it to be true.
I'm really quite confident that he is neither Danny nor indeed any one of the cast of late 70s coming-of-age 1950s musical film 'Grease'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)

See, this is the bit I don't get,
what about my statement gave him the impression that i'm a hugely succesful musical performer?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)

Because ... y'know ...
You're very ... "musical".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)

I don't know
You're very handsome...maybe that's it
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)

thanks TH,
i needed that *man hugs*
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:05, Reply)

*cups*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:06, Reply)

Hey, that was great - you lot are alright really, aren't you?
What does the amber do? If it's something to chew on that might help. If it's about 'crystal energies' and all that, then it's a pile of poo.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:24, Reply)

from the photos it looks like a necklace,
that could easily choke the child to death if it was to slip and get it caught on something.
It's not chewing, it's crystal energy. It's total bollocks.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Absoultely,
the only way you'll get a crystal to 'sing' is by giving it a dose of electricity. Tell them to try whiskey - an old wives' tale that does work!
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:33, Reply)

Still not seen a better one than "orgone blasters "
alt: I do reckon Nikola Tesla was a genius and onto some big discovery but died before he could
make it real.

altalt: Ooooohhhhh *holds up handbag *
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:27, Reply)

Oatmeal you cartoon cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)

you forgot to engage your translator again

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:36, Reply)

At least Tesla was a scientist,
and trying experiments, rather than bollocks about crystal energy.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:29, Reply)

Orgone was Wilhem Reich NOT Nikola Tesla.
Are you some sort of thickie?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 11 Sep 2012, 6:08, Reply)

I dont believe in nothing
I find calpol and specially formulated teething gel helps with teething
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:27, Reply)

I find ear plugs help me when my daughter is teething.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)

I just used a gumshield
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:17, Reply)

I believe in neither hokum nor bunkum
But I do have a friend that says things like "Aah...but how do you know" an awful lot. Very annoying.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:32, Reply)

have you tried smashing his face in?
why is it so quiet here
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Nah, all in all he's a good friend
He just believes a lot of bollocks without really thinking it through.

Dunno why it's quiet. Working maybe? Who knows.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:37, Reply)

probably yeah.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:38, Reply)

I'm just riding it out until I can log off without my boss thinking I'm knocking off early

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:39, Reply)

fair enough

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Because of gays.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)

i think it's because of you Mister Boyce.
YOU!
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:54, Reply)

Nope, I'm telling you - GAYS.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)

You forgot the coloureds and the Irish

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:55, Reply)

If only I could forget them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:58, Reply)

There's so many of them about
It's virtually impossible
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:02, Reply)

A friend of mine works long hours so gets her retired mum to do her housework for her
She came home one day to discover that one of her ornaments was missing from the fireplace.

She discovered it some hours later in the garden. When questioned about it, her mum stated, without a hint of embarrassment, that "it looked like it needed re-energising, so I buried it in the earth next to a tree."
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)

*hits head on desk*

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:40, Reply)

You know who loves felines? The pope, in fact I've heard he's a cat-oholic

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:50, Reply)

IMPOSTINGTHISONMYFACEBOOKWALL

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:51, Reply)

Dear God
Now Jimmy Saville has been recalled to your heavenly palace I wonder if I could call on you for a favour.

Could you fix it for me, to have Naked Ape leave the internet, and ideally die?

Thanks in advance

MB x
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)

My little mate Dave came round yesterday,
he genuinely believes in the Illuminati and got really quite annoyed at the entire room of people pointing, laughing and scoffing at him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:51, Reply)

I have a friend that seems obsessed with the whole Bilderberg group.
He is a crackpot.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)

Ah yes my friend also craps on about them.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)

Tell him that the government is keeping tabs on all of us via the Dewey Decimal system

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:01, Reply)

I really love a good consiparcy theory
I take every opportunity to read about them. The only thing more entertaining is watching people get upset because they're "true"
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)

My favourite is the 'Ku Kux Klan is funded by Marlboro' one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:57, Reply)

Yeah
It's a lot like some of the LOLumminati ones...if it's such a big secret, why leave clues where EVERYONE can see them ALL the time?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:00, Reply)

Anything to do with 9/11 or Princess Diana is always gold of course
And if you can get something that ties those two events together....Oh boy!!!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:03, Reply)

I love some of the crazy "documentaries" on Youtube,
some full on nutters out there.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:04, Reply)

Definitely
I've seen a couple of crackers about the moon landings.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:05, Reply)

Davidicke.com Is superb for this sort of thing.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:06, Reply)

I have mentioned this before
But one of my cousins went out with his daughter a long time ago. I'm really disaapointed it didn't work out.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:07, Reply)

IF I HEAR THIS STORY ONE MORE TIME, SO HELP ME GOD I WILL GET MY REVENGE!!!!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:22, Reply)

I just like to keep your awareness up

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:53, Reply)

I used to live with a girl who believed in Horoscopes
After I pointed out that Russell Grant was clearly a fucking idiot, she said 'yes, he's a shit one, but there are better!'. No, no there aren't. Fucking hell.

Then again, my housemate doesn't believe we landed on the moon. What a cunt.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:53, Reply)

oh this^^^^
as if one twelfth of the world's population are going to have the same thing happen to them on the same day.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:55, Reply)

i bet one of the houses you lived in had a tie-dye celtic-knot wall hanging.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:55, Reply)

Your friends are cunts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 16:56, Reply)

The chances of a successful moonlanding were 1.7%, it was safer and cheaper to mislead the World and claim victory in the spacerace
Why do you think the eleven 'moonwalkers' are so shy of publicity
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:00, Reply)

I also believe man did not land on the moon. It was cold war propaganda.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:04, Reply)

*belms*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:08, Reply)

Alright fuckface?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:10, Reply)

Not too bad thanks. You?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:20, Reply)

Very good thanks.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:31, Reply)

You and Chompy are fucking helmets.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:18, Reply)

That could cause some bellend bruising, I reckon

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:28, Reply)

The moon doesn't even exist
It's painted on the inside of the massive glass barrier that surrounds the Earth. WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:09, Reply)

Neil Armstrong was actually a hologram.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:21, Reply)

logram mo
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:23, Reply)

Bless 'im, being stripped of his cycling titles then popping his clogs the very next day.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:23, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:42, Reply)

I wish superstitions worked
because then I could improve likelihoods of good things just by not walking under ladders or shooting magpies or something. Much easier than all this slap dash business with guessing motives and unexpected consequences
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:18, Reply)

alright cavy,
i've been invited to run a beer tent for a Larp event in Wiltshire. Any advice?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:21, Reply)

'refuse on grounds of embarrassment'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:22, Reply)

there is some good money being offered,
also the terms included the word "wenches"
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:23, Reply)

you will probably get to see lots of
shelf tits
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:24, Reply)

what are shelf tits pls?
Are they a niche species of bird that live in libraries or sutin?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:28, Reply)

is this that horrible phenomenon where fat women squeeze in to corsets that are far too small for them,
and end up with that unfortunate look where flesh seems to sort of, spill out of every gap in fabric. Like a ballon wrapped in rubber bands being inflated?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:28, Reply)

this

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:28, Reply)

they go all wobbly
in a yucky way
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:29, Reply)

ah, right. No need to answer again up there, I'm already spent.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:29, Reply)

good good
later...chainmail bikinis
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:31, Reply)

*bokes*

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:32, Reply)

cool
worth doing, someone I know does it. Buy in bottles of mead (Moniak) alongside the beers and things and you will do a roaring trade. Larpers drink A LOT.

Oh and points for getting your staff to dress up, the one that comes to the big events has them all in monk habits
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:24, Reply)

I might consider it.
What do they drink? Am I going to have to sort out gas and coolers and all sorts of shit for lager, or can i rock up with a few barrels of decent beer and some old scrumpy and just flog it?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:31, Reply)

add mead to that
and that would probably do. I know some do things on tap and the like, but it depends on the system/what they are used to. larp events range from small ones of a 100 or so to the Gathering which has a few thousand
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:36, Reply)

Piss into an old tin bath for two weeks prior to the do
then sell it at £5 a 'flagon' as 'elven magic sherry'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:37, Reply)

where as massive drug loving types
are much more discerning
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:38, Reply)

Look I'm not judging, OK?
If I'd just spent five hours pretending to be 'Thringor the Wise', I'd drink fucking shoe polish if it was guaranteed to wipe my memory.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:40, Reply)

you know people aren't forced into this, right?
not everyone is as uptight about their image as you
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:43, Reply)

(I hope you read the irony in that post)

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:44, Reply)

It's true I have my 'funky fresh' style to maintain.
I shouldn't be mean to those less fortunate.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:45, Reply)

They drink a lot, to forget.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:33, Reply)

Mead tastes horrible.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:35, Reply)

then you are drinking the wrong mead

there are many types
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:37, Reply)

Whichever ones I have had on the past have always tasted too sweet.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:39, Reply)

those are the most common ones
usually you get them on christmas markets. Moniak is much drier and makes you drunk and giggly very quickly
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:41, Reply)

look, cavy, i hate to break it to you,
but mead really is shit.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:50, Reply)

nope
it's yummy and I have drunk much
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:51, Reply)

but it

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:56, Reply)

uh?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:59, Reply)

i was going to post a long thing about how mead is made these days,
and anything you get either bottled, or that has a use by date is not mead. but then my browser crashed due to all the fat corset porn i'm wanking over and now i can't be bothered.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 18:02, Reply)

oh good
I get paid per click
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 18:03, Reply)

well if you buy it in for larpers
get this
www.highlandwineries.co.uk/moniack-mead.php
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 18:03, Reply)

not mead though is it

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 10 Sep 2012, 18:21, Reply)

*shrugs* dunno
but it is nice
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 18:22, Reply)

I think I like the idea of it rather than the reality.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:41, Reply)

That's how I feel about work.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:45, Reply)

That's how I feel about reality.
Except I don't even like the idea of it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:46, Reply)

it's a broken system

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:46, Reply)

Only one solution then. Just do it before your birthday, that way people will save money.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:48, Reply)

very thoughtful. I will indeed.
I'll gaz rob now about my account.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:49, Reply)

Good stuff

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 10 Sep 2012, 17:50, Reply)

They ain't really made of amber.
They're pure crystal meth.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 11 Sep 2012, 6:09, Reply)