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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Vag has ruined that thread for everyone.
I've got a few hours free before work, what should i do? I've already done your mum, so lets leave that out.

alt: My new dog likes to eat my other dogs poo, is this normal? do you like poo?

altalt: Daytime TV really is wank.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:48, 107 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
My dog eats dead birds and feathers
The fucking idiot
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:49, Reply)
he fell in the canal this morning, chasing a duck off the bank,
and then looked at me like it was my fault.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)
I like this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Haha
Harley is SUCH a prick.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)
it was max that fell in the river,
harley isn't that stupid.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:05, Reply)
Woah woah, wait a minute
Who the FUCK is Max??
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
we got a new dog a few weeks back,
i definitely told you.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'RE KEEPING FROM ME????

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:21, Reply)
only your surprise birthday present.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:28, Reply)
is it dog poo?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)
FFS KEEP UP

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:14, Reply)
Also
fell in the c
performed
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)
left-field.
but still 9/10 for execution.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Alt: where IS Kroney?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:51, Reply)
Altalt: if you like programmes on WWII it's fine.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:52, Reply)
I am putting the Nazi Temple of Doom thing on DVD this afternoon for you

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Thanks Kofi!!!
I'm sorry I called you a lazy coon now.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)
You're clearly a reasonably hard-working coon.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
I'm not a Paki, am I?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
Are you male or female?
The 'Noel Test', here.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)
*checks breasts*
Unsure
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:01, Reply)
Must be an aubergine.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)
A floppy one?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:01, Reply)
what is this.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:54, Reply)
An unreleased Indiana Jones film, I think.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Temple of Coon

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
It's a click from me

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)
wank into your stupid little dog's face.

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Get Apple TV and your daytime TV pain will be gone.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:55, Reply)
i don't own any apple products except the homebrew cider kit that got delivered this morning.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Dogs are stupid fucking idiots.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
They can't even use a knife and fork.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:01, Reply)
They're alright if you rub Pedigree Chum on your cock and balls.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:02, Reply)
A bit like that teenage girl while Ricky Martin was upstairs for a TV show?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:15, Reply)
i've read this sentence 3 times now,
and still can't figure it out.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:19, Reply)
It rings a very, very small bell with me

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:19, Reply)
Old "true story"
Here´s a rather amusing story about a bizarre programme
which was shown on Spanish TV last week. It was one of
those programme where family or friends arrange for someone
have a surprise meeting with a celebrity. It seems that this
particular young girl is absolutely besotted by the singer
Ricky Martin (who is the most popular singer in Spain and most
of South America), so great elaborate plans were made for him
to hide in her home and surprise her. A hidden camera was set
up in the lounge and a cameraman waited hidden outside to
record the joyous meeting.
(Now what you have to understand that this programme was going
out live at prime time, so whatever happened would be shown to
millions of people throughout Spain.)
So the plan was that the parents would go out leave the girl alone
in the house playing with her dog and listening to her Ricky Martin CD
and after filming her for about 5 minutes Ricky would burst into the
room and surprise her - and she would be the happiest girl in
the world. What they didn´t expect was that immediately the girls
parents left the house she would take down her panties, rub pate
over her pussy and get the dog (who incidentally was called Ricky)
to lick it off - all in front of the hidden camera and going out live
to an audience of several million people (including her parents, family
and friends). The singer (not knowing that this was happening) burst
into the room, saw what was happening, called her a "dirty bitch" and
stormed off. Total chaos ensued!!
Sick but hilarious. It has to be the most talked out programme in
the history of Spanish TV.
I´m glad to report that the girl did not commit suicide (which many
people thought she would surely contemplate) - but they did have the
dog put down!!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:22, Reply)
this sounds far too qftw for my liking.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:24, Reply)
No waiiii it's totally truuuuu

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Highlight of the thread "do dogs even LIKE peanut butter?"
message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=430
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Him do english good

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Aww now I feel guilty.

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:56, Reply)
you're not invited to this thread.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)
I know.
I'm gate-crashing.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)
BAM!! Another thread down the shitter.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Altalt: Wanking to daytime TV is often dissatisfying.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Yeah having that bloke off Homes Under the Hammer up in your grill when you hit the vinegars is somewhat offputting.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)
jeremy is a prick.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Bash in the Attic

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)
Gash in the twat prick

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:04, Reply)
stop it now,
you're only embarrassing yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:04, Reply)
I can't help myself! I'm an awful turd!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Wanking Cunt
(bargain hunt)
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:04, Reply)
Loose (over) Women

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:05, Reply)
I will not sit here while you badmouth Jeremy Kyle
Well...I mean, I will just sit here, but I won't like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)
jeremy is a prick.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)
No one's disputing that

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)
i might read a book instead.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:01, Reply)
Well la-di-da
Look at me, I'm Windy Pig...I can REEEEEEAD!
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)
i mostly look at the pictures.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:04, Reply)

mostly
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:05, Reply)
There's nothing wrong with Jeremy Kyle's show
that couldn't be fixed with a well-placed fragmentation grenade.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:02, Reply)
In many ways you're right
but you're so wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:02, Reply)
*hunkers down in front of stage* why do you feel like that hmmm?
the audience knows why. it's because you're A NONCE, ISN'T IT?
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)
He keeps using the expression "the worst thing since sliced bread"
I can only assume that his anti-sliced bread stance is based upon being assaulted by a baker when he was a child.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:01, Reply)
he had a whole loaf of mother's pride shove up his anus,

(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)
:((((((

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)
...and nowt teken owt

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:06, Reply)
Nice

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)
LOL
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/4372230.stm

That's my all time favourite news link
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Quote of the Year
"Stop grieving...it's only a chicken"
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:22, Reply)
4EVA IN R NUGGETZ!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:29, Reply)
ohmygod, thats the old bbc news website, it looks so 2001.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:23, Reply)
I wish someone would burn it down

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:28, Reply)
why?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Because its so old and shit and old
It reminds me of Monty
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:32, Reply)
is it not retro?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:39, Reply)
Your face is retro

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:40, Reply)
:((((((

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)
He's got a point, your face is pretty retro
Like someone from the middle ages or something
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)
He has that weird droopy hair as well

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:45, Reply)
Like a cavalier
He's an era spanner.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I LOOK LIKE?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:50, Reply)
I'm not at liberty to divulge that information

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:51, Reply)

ner iel
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Stop grieving they were only football fans

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:26, Reply)
Hey Monce
Do you know what I call Nelly Furtado? I call him 'Smelly FurTURDo'!
Hahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Her*

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Herr*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:31, Reply)
No, I'm pretty sure he's a fella

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:37, Reply)
I don't get it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:31, Reply)
My brother, right - refers to her 'smelly fur Tardis'!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Oh man, like off the Star Wars programme?
That's gold
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:38, Reply)
Get it right, it was Blake's 7 you IDIOT.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:41, Reply)
Is that the one with the robots what say "Wingardium Cinqacento"?

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)
That was 'Rentaghost' you prick.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)
That was "round the twist" you bellend

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:48, Reply)
You say Furturdo, I say Furtardo.
Furturdo, Furtardo, Furturdo, Furtardo,
Let's call the whole thing off.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:34, Reply)
See? This guy gets it

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:37, Reply)
I used to eat poo before it got all mainstream.
There'd be just a few of us in the basement of Tarquin's mum's house back in the early nineties. It was all so dignified then, checkerboard tablecloth, cutlery, fine wines. It was beautiful. Then, of course, Justin had to go all media on us and suddenly it was gaining popularity. Even the middle aged swingers down the road, the very epitome of uncool, were doing it. Still, we kept the faith despite how our pastime was getting cheapened. Until the internet got hold. One minute it was still fairly niche and then BAM! Porn everywhere.

Nowadays I restrict myself to rimming tramps.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:25, Reply)
You are right to do so.
*drops piss-soaked suit trousers and 'assumes the position'*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:43, Reply)
oh man
I wish there was a London-based serial killer who combined the elan of Ted Bundy, the viciousness of Chikatilo and the blank psychopathy of Dahmer, just so A Vagabond could be his third victim. No doubt he would keep the trilby, guyliner and parasol as mementos.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Who says there isn't?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)
This is a really crap thread,
can someone make some effort and start a new one. I might go out and get a can of coke.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:44, Reply)
I went on a holiday of a lifetime last year...


...never again
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:46, Reply)
Come on Tim*!!!


*Vine
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:47, Reply)
Pervert

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 14 Sep 2012, 10:49, Reply)

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