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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Lloyds bank has "fallen over" in the technical jargon
www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/consumertips/banking/9590028/Lloyds-crash-leaves-millions-without-access-to-cash.htmlso if you bank with them good luck getting any cash tonight.
Why is everyone who works in IT incompitent?
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:41,
151 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
Why are they what, sorry?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
That's one of those words I can never spell.
It means shit.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
Funnily enough I am dying for an incompitent, as it goes.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
Ask Sportscow
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
I am both able to login to my bank and post here
Thank you kindly
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
Yep but why are you incontinent?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
'cos I like the smell of piss
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
Have you got Cavy's cloak?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:31,
Reply)
oh great, now i can't contribute on talk or OT
(
quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
2.0? quints?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
yeah, i've got psychochomp on ignore because i find him a bit dull tbh
(
quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
? Chompy's the best thing EVAH
I'm working out how to try and ask him to sell me the swaet from his balls
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
he is pretty dull, though
(
quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
Upset online.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
ERRRMMMMMM whoops
feck I bet this has put the price of ball sweat up
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
i am indeed, please leave me alone
i put you on ignore so that we wouldn't have any more falling outs as I don't want to get banned again
(
quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
I think you should drop his missis a gaz
That normally helps?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
hahahaha it sure did last time
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:38,
Reply)
i'm not falling for that again
:(
(
quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:39,
Reply)
Halifax also went tits
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
up?
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
down, that's the problem
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
In
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
problemin?
that must be the drug monty's been addicted to his whole life
(
quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
:(
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
He's a BULLY mont's call B3TH and bike shop
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
arh man, if i get banned again so help me
(
quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
There are other bike shops, TRUFAX
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
what you going on about?
(
quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
Yay!
unless we have to bail the cunts out.
Alt: we're not, we just hate you.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
boring. I thought they'd proper fallen over.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
CQ is that you? thought you flounced ages ago
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
They always come back.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
Back on the block
(only monty will get this Ref).
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
Chocka ablock?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
Quincy Jones
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
So close!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
Ronny Jordans back on the block
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
Nah, it's Rory.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
I bet it's the same as the RBS fuckup
an untested update put into live by a cut to the bone IT dept with no disaster recovery.
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
A bunch of their accounts are moving over to the CoOp, it's probably something to do with that.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
What a bunch of chickens!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
They're really clucked this one up!!!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
It's EGGstraordinary bad form.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
Oh BEAKquiet will you?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
FOWL joke
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
I bank with RBS my money keeps disappearing then returning, WTF
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
Mine's the same!
Apart from the returning bit.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
You keep all your money in the guitar case at kings cross
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
This, basically.
They replaced their IT department which comprised of people with decades of experience that knew their quirky bespoke COBOL systems with an offshore team that had heard of COBOL, a bit.
Basically, all programmers are equal in skill and knowledge to managers and beancounters.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
Great
No chinky for me tonight.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
$5 LOVE YOU LONG TIME
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
Credit cards are the way to go with this sort of thing.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
Or muggings
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
Huh! I s'pose old 'muggings' here will have to pay AGAIN!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
Unlikely.
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
Impossible would be nearer
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
Ain't got one, PC.
Can't be trusted.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
Get your Mrs to buy it then.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
She won't be able to pay because she will be gobbling me off.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
I didn't have one for ages for this reason
years went by, I got a new credit card. Yeah, still can't be trusted.
(
Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
7 years and counting.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
Can I join in this chat?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
No.
I'm not going to 2.0 you as you post in every fucking sub thread going so I'd effectively be ignoring the whole board. Can we just agree to never acknowledge each other's presence ever again? Cheers.
(
Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:03,
Reply)
:o(((((((((
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
NO
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
Facking mangrul.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
maybe a critical memo got lost because they didn't have enough paper clips to hold it together
and whose fault would that be eh?
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
Fucking paperclips coming over here and taking all our staples jobs, just isn’t on
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
Did you hear the one about Ku Klux Stapler?
He tried to jump 50 paperclips in a steamroller!
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
Didn’t you tell that joke on the last thread?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
I still am no closer to knowing what how the actual joke ends.
I'm about to shit myself with sheer frustration.
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Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:03,
Reply)
I think it walks into a bar at the end/start?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
knievel/nizzle/steamroller.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
*shits self*
(
Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:09,
Reply)
YOU'RE WELCOME!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:09,
Reply)
I'll be honest chompers, this thread doesn't inspire me in any great way.
I might go do some work.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
I'm sorry, I'll try harder.
Abu Hamza is goint to be extradited? That's good innit?
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
When?
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
Soon, he's failed his final appeal and the judge has said, fuck off to america.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
Fucking draining bastard I'll personally paddle the cunt there
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
I honestly don't care.
I'm having a grumpy Friday chomps.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
It'll be much better later on when you're surrounded by the drunk and lairy!
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
I'm taking tonight off,
its been hell busy all week, and the upstairs isn't open to the public tonight so it'll be easy enough for the minions.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:27,
Reply)
aw, chin up WP
(
quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
Cheer up you misery.
You'll make the beer go off.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:19,
Reply)
Pint of BITTER please
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:25,
Reply)
Fancy popping over for nice relaxing fight?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:26,
Reply)
Lets start a war
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:30,
Reply)
No, I was thinking a little bit of friendly punching
Relieve some stress with someone you trust. And if you can't trust TH, who can you trust?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
Nuclear war?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:40,
Reply)
yes please.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:30,
Reply)
Come on then, you big knucklehead
but take it easy on the face...I've got meetings next week.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
Pillow fight at dawn then
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:38,
Reply)
Is something more interesting happening in the world?
Friday afternoon is not really banging yet
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
I was contemplating going for some "gentleman's relaxation".
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
a bit of
'intimate rummaging'?
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
Nah, just a wank.
in the disabled toilet looking at myself in the full length mirror and staring myself right in the eye.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:14,
Reply)
so
a challenge wank then?
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
Hahaha!
Sick burn.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
time to wrap it in cling film
and call the ambulance
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:21,
Reply)
I can eat a peach for hours.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
Put your teeth in first, it'll make it quicker old man.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:23,
Reply)
i don't understand why he's into fruit now
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:26,
Reply)
The microwaved melon myth
Size being an issue he's microwaving peaches
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:29,
Reply)
OK
A man using Apple maps walks into a bar..
Or a Church..
Or a garage.
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:10,
Reply)
Needs MOAR Ku Klux
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
On a steamroller, right?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
With a Sir Jimmeh tracksuit?
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Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:18,
Reply)
My steering wheel's just arrived! :D
(
Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
YESSSSSSSSS
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:24,
Reply)
I'm updating my blog now.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:25,
Reply)
It makes me very happy.
Of course, I don't actually own the car it's for yet. Which also means I've got no way of knowing if it'll actually fit.
(
Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:27,
Reply)
Glad it's cheered you up
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19814806
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:35,
Reply)
Better mothball it until you need it.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:58,
Reply)
Because they all spend their time twatting about on here?
Or because banks hire people with no grounding in economics and then don't bother training them?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
You tell em B3TH ban them all, BAN THEM NOW
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:14,
Reply)
I'll start with you
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:15,
Reply)
FECKSOCKS
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:24,
Reply)
Sssh!
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:20,
Reply)
HAHAHAHAHAHAAA
RBS just rang me talking about, how they just fucked up my account
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:26,
Reply)
nice, are you getting any compensation, or they just saying sorry?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
Not sure yet
I will see how things develop
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:36,
Reply)
Are cyclists allowed to ride the wrong way on a one way street??
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:31,
Reply)
of course not.
unless there is a dedicated cycle Lane going that way.(we have a few of those)
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:33,
Reply)
there is at the top of the road and then it stops.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:34,
Reply)
half a cycle lane, sounds a wee bit stupid.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:36,
Reply)
Maybe it's a unicycle lane
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:38,
Reply)
I got 6/7 in the news quiz
I'm impressed, I usually have no idea what's going on.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19838034
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:38,
Reply)
I got 5 : (
I always get four or five. I should read more of chompy's news links.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:42,
Reply)
I only guessed one
the blue-arsed fly one. And I got it wrong.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 17:02,
Reply)
I only got 3/7 :((((
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:45,
Reply)
i got 4
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quintsy, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:52,
Reply)
1/7
and that was a lucky guess. I should watch the news occasionally
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:51,
Reply)
4
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
5/7
I have seen no news this week that wasn't on here or comedy podcasts if you got less you are a spakka.
(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 5 Oct 2012, 17:02,
Reply)
I am in the pub.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:46,
Reply)
You are a cunt.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:48,
Reply)
We all knew that. Tell us something we don't know.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:48,
Reply)
I am a cunt
(
Kroney, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:50,
Reply)
Skillz.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:50,
Reply)
This follows some quality shed time earlier, so a good day all round.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:51,
Reply)
SHED!
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:54,
Reply)
Got the lighting wired up, the window blinds fitted, the workbench varnished and the ramp for the law mower concreted in
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:56,
Reply)
Like it.
Chinky tonight.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:55,
Reply)
I'm cooking lime & chilli chicken, mange tout and rice.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:56,
Reply)
I'm outta here.
Good weekend.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:58,
Reply)
And you.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 16:59,
Reply)
L80rz
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Oct 2012, 17:01,
Reply)
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