at the weekend
I was so hungover that I was puking up bile all morning. I had a shit and the smell was that bad that it made me puke again, on top of the shit. Suave or what?

Alt- I know many stupid people. I find the best way to deal with them is to encourage their stupidity for comedy reasons.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:30, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Do chicks dig that sort of thing?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:31, Reply)

He'll be beating them off with a shitty stick.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:32, Reply)

Shitty and vomit covered?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:33, Reply)

That's like tits AND arse.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:35, Reply)

speaking as a chick
and as a human.... NOT SO MUCH.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:32, Reply)

no, not in my experience.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:32, Reply)

your experience is correct
separate bathrooms is the way to have harmony in any relationship. then you can't moan about how many bottles and lotions and potions she needs, and she can't moan about how the fuck you can smell like that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:33, Reply)

bathrooms houses
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:34, Reply)

You've at least got to have an agreed dump toilet.
But if she's in the bath it's your duty to run in and have a smelly shit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:34, Reply)

when the ex started telling me a story about how he nearly shat himself after 48 hours of drinking
i thought, you might as well wave a big red flag saying "I DON'T WANT SEX". i am really squeamish about things like that. using my toilet is literally a dump-able offence. wait until you get home, you rancid incontinent beast.

at what point is it ok to fart/shit in front of her then? i would say about 6 years.

edit: no. i would say NEVER. it is NEVER OK.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:37, Reply)

How about in the bed?
Because apparently that's ok.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:39, Reply)

have you never heard of "foreplay"?
typical frenchie
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:42, Reply)

You think shitting in the bed counts as foreplay?
Fuck, you're weird.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:44, Reply)

and yet i keep turning down your increasingly piteous advances
flowers, serenading, chocolates...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:46, Reply)

Well if you'd let me come over
so that I can curl out a log in your bed and thereby win your heart, I would.
( Kroney, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:49, Reply)

Hahaha.
"How can I love if you won't lie down?"
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:50, Reply)

Michael Bolton's later efforts lacked the effort of his earlier work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 14:02, Reply)

They think that's a kind of lavatory paper.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:46, Reply)

They wipe their arses on their own armpit hair.
True story.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:48, Reply)

I have a lot of lotions and potions too.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:35, Reply)

My bathroom smells like my cologne.

( Kroney, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:37, Reply)

i read that as cabbage then
then i saw who posted it. not surprising, eh, mon chou?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:38, Reply)

My smells like Cologne.
After the bombing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:40, Reply)

Guess who I'm going to see next week?
Jeru, Sadat X and DJ Doo Wop.

I KNOW!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:35, Reply)

lucky you!
Spiritualized are playing in Leeds in a few weeks, I might go and see that. I've seen them 4 times now, last time was at the RFH when they played Ladies and Gentlemen... live.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:38, Reply)

That was George Michael, you queer.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:39, Reply)

no, it wasn't

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:40, Reply)

Right you are, chief.
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00000G42T/ref=asc_df_B00000G42T10037366?smid=A2ZFXCE62WVCON&tag=googlecouk06-21&linkCode=asn&creative=22242&creativeASIN=B00000G42T
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:44, Reply)

it was Ladies and Gentlemen we are Floating in Space
You fucking whelk.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:48, Reply)

Just because I know their guitarist from the pub and have met Jason Pierce on several occasions
doesn't mean that his entire career after the first two years of Spacemen 3 hasn't been incredibly tedious wank and not worth bothering with.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:51, Reply)

they were great up until and including that album
Then he sacked the entire band and the quality started decreasing.

My favourite Spacemen 3 track is Lord Can You Hear Me? The cover by Low is great, the cover by Spiritualized is overblown and pointless.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 12:53, Reply)

Spacemen 3's first LP is excellent as is the Walkin with Jesus 12" and the live LP 'Performance'
Not fussed about anything else they've done since inc Spectrum, Spiritualized etc. All rather wet and weedy smackhead music.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 13:00, Reply)

Going to have to disagree with you there, Monty.
I'm wet and weedy but I'm no smackhead.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 13:48, Reply)