For £2000, I can turn a deceased loved-one's ashes into a diamond.

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:39, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

For three quid I can turn 2 litres of Strongbow into a whole lotta piss
Now THAT'S value for money
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Excellent.
But you'll only have the hangover to remember it by.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:44, Reply)

I video myself EVERY time I get drunk
I'm collecting quite the little library
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:50, Reply)

And I for one would like to see these!

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:52, Reply)

I have a whole shelf labelled 'NUDE'

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:54, Reply)

Not considering you haven't changed it in any way
Apart from warming it to body temp, obviously.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Exactly, it's not flash at all.

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Are you saying that the ONLY difference between what I'm drinking
and what I piss out, is the temperature?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:49, Reply)

In this case, yes
Same happens with most Aussie "lagers" and other cheap "ciders".
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:52, Reply)

what if it's just some bloke we killed by accident?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:42, Reply)

I told you the pipes hadn't finished cleaning, but no, you had to serve the guy

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Ha ha!
And what about liquid nitrogen eh?!
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Did that idiot have their stomach entirely removed?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:52, Reply)

yep, maybe gonz should downa few of those

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:53, Reply)

From what I saw on the news, yes. And she'll be on a restricted diet forever now.
I work with the stuff all the time - we throw it around and generally piss about with it.
Except, not in large quantities (you can get it on yourself, but not in Terminator 2 proportions) and never internally.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:56, Reply)

I don't understand that story,
she can't have drunk it as such, as it turns to gas as soon as it hits air. I mean, it got to her stomach. My guess is that she was downing them like a bellend as it was her birthday, and probably deserved it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:53, Reply)

apparently it could make it that far, it will boil so rapidly that your stomach could burst
or simmply freeze your oesophagus leavin it brittle enough to shatter
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:54, Reply)

It does act pretty quickly,
but you're talking about vapour saturation pressures, so perhaps on this occasion there may have been something, say ice in the drink, which slowed down the evaporation process just enough?
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:59, Reply)

I'll be honest here jimbo,
my grasp of the science is ropey at best, but i'd have said even with Ice, she would have to be literally pouring i down her throat to get ill the way she did.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:23, Reply)

it perforated her stomach I believe
so perhaps there were little unmelted bits still in it when she necked it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:34, Reply)

Or maybe the expansion mentioned above happened.
Ice would make fuck all difference because it's still hundreds of degrees hotter than liquid nitrogen.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:36, Reply)

Then the Chiswick flyover is probably a better option.
(or add another £500 and I'll see what I can do).
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:46, Reply)

does the number of carats you get directly peoportional to the size of the deceased?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:44, Reply)

I haven't done the specific conversion,
but more carbon = more diamond at the end of it all.
(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Hey everyone, come to my "bash"
it's in a cellar on an abandoned industrial estate, free drugs all round.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Can I come?
I'm free all week. Well, all month...
(kroney2, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:49, Reply)

are you a massive fatty?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:50, Reply)

Come on, lip up fatty.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:51, Reply)

I had a dog once, but she ran away.
They're all the same
(kroney2, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:51, Reply)

My little runaway, a run run run run runaway

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:36, Reply)

This isn't too far off what Monty's bash was.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:52, Reply)

was he planning on killing all the fatties that came to turn into diamonds though?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:55, Reply)

Not sure, I left early and was easily the skinniest person there.
I think it would be fair to assume that he was planning that, though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:59, Reply)

Tell me more about your bash N_A.

(Jimbojames Wishing every day could be like today, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:59, Reply)