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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Battered is in the house! A wendy house.
A girl I work with has taken her dog to the doggy psychiatrist this alvo at the cost of £300. What was the biggest waste of money you have spent on a pet/child/parent?
No Quints, you're a cunt!
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:30, 255 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
*waves*I've had a truly SHIT day so far. I think red wine is in order.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
I will be in the pub by 4.30pm today.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:37,
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I've been in a pub since 10this morning.But yeah, not in the same way. But tonight is a drinking night, day off tomorrow, going to read the quiz and get spangly.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:39,
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about 2 hours a day according to his colleagues at Monty's bash(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:43,
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wanking off clients(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:05,
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I watched that on saturday evening, it was well rubbish(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:48,
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£300 for my dog seems a lot of cash£2000 on a Renault Clio for the step-daughter's 18th birthday, which she managed to write off a year later sneezing whilst driving on the A19
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:32,
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ah the old sneezing explanationthat is definately what happened
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:33,
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:35,
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2 grand is a lot of hush money"I will buy you a car if you dont tell your mum"
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:41, Reply)
Dog psychiatrist...unbelievableA friend of mine had her pet rats cremated and put into a nice ornate box. At £200 a pop.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:33,
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oh Baldmonkey.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:34,
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Oh, but he did keep the bodies of two mice next to an ants nest to see what would happenThey stripped the bodies clean in 24 hours. It was interesting/horrifying.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:35,
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are you two actually friends IRL, he seems prety mental(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:36,
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YeahHe's alright really. He's not as LOLWAKI as he came across on here.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:37,
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He's an odd character, it's trueIt makes more sense if you know him in real life. But then I have some very difficult friends, so I'm used to it.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:46,
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oh, thanks, difficult am i.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:51,
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My parents had the dog cremated, they had to send it away to a special crematoriumand now she sits in the back of the car in a velvet bag in case of snow
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:50,
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Some woman in the papers the other day cancelled her honeymoon to pay for her 14 year old dog to get Chemo.And it still fucking died.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:33,
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14 years old?Dogs don't tend to live much beyond that, do they? Happy to be proven wrong here.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:34,
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WE AREN'T FUCKING TALKING ABOUT CATS ARE WE NAKERS!!(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:37,
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FuckI'd have to sit the cat down and say 'come on, enough's enough, eh?'
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:38,
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was it all the rounds everyone bought it that finally did it in?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:51,
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not most breeds no, (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:37,
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I would have got Gangnam aroundand let him do his South Korean 'ting.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:38, Reply)
does he cure cancer does he?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:39,
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are you sure?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:49,
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He's Korean. Ipso facto. Res ipsa loquitor. Quo fas et gloria ducunt.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:56, Reply)
I've definitely met a korean vegetarian, so you can shove your dead language up your bottyhole.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:00,
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My parents dog has lung cancer, they don't think he'll see christmas :((((((((
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:35,
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no, but he likes the people, food and he brings us presents from under the tree(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:40,
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He is a big softyYou're much nicer than real Kroney
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:43,
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They reckon dogs can be trained to smell cancerSo he actually might smell TERRIBLE to himself.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:44,
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my mates dog ate the whole turkey once and the ham and the christmas puddingand a tin of Quality Street and some Asprin.
Didn't die, but did make it into the Daily Mail.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:47,
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And then what happened?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:49,
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he took a massive christmassy dump, wrapped it, put a bow on it and posted it to you(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:51,
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Not me, but my missus spends an absolute bloody fortune on little tangle.Just the other day I spotted a pile of theatre tickets for various things we'll be taking him to over the coming months - I totted up how much it was all costing and it came to over £400.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:38,
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those live Zither interetive dance shows don't come cheap do they(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:39,
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Dunno if I'd consider entertainment a waste of money thoughProvided he actually pays attention to it, I suppose.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:40,
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Oh he enjoys it, but still, that's 400 quid I could've spend on records and beer.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:42,
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I NEED ENTERTAINMENT TOO!!!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:42,
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No, you've lost me here.Pretty sure that isn't even a word.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:43,
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Little TangleI am implying that your missus buys you cock jewels...
It is to be fair a fucking great joke.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:46, Reply)
It seemed to lose a little in the translation.But I'll click it anyway, just to show there are no hard feelings.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:51,
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TaThe lack of hard feelings will be the pain of superglue on the old chap... rinse it with cold water
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:54, Reply)
For three quid I can turn 2 litres of Strongbow into a whole lotta pissNow THAT'S value for money
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:41,
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I video myself EVERY time I get drunkI'm collecting quite the little library
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:50,
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Not considering you haven't changed it in any way Apart from warming it to body temp, obviously.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:45, Reply)
Are you saying that the ONLY difference between what I'm drinkingand what I piss out, is the temperature?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:49,
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In this case, yesSame happens with most Aussie "lagers" and other cheap "ciders".
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:52, Reply)
what if it's just some bloke we killed by accident?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:42,
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I told you the pipes hadn't finished cleaning, but no, you had to serve the guy(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:45,
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yep, maybe gonz should downa few of those(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:53,
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From what I saw on the news, yes. And she'll be on a restricted diet forever now.I work with the stuff all the time - we throw it around and generally piss about with it.
Except, not in large quantities (you can get it on yourself, but not in Terminator 2 proportions) and never internally.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:56, Reply)
I don't understand that story, she can't have drunk it as such, as it turns to gas as soon as it hits air. I mean, it got to her stomach. My guess is that she was downing them like a bellend as it was her birthday, and probably deserved it.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:53,
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apparently it could make it that far, it will boil so rapidly that your stomach could burstor simmply freeze your oesophagus leavin it brittle enough to shatter
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
It does act pretty quickly,but you're talking about vapour saturation pressures, so perhaps on this occasion there may have been something, say ice in the drink, which slowed down the evaporation process just enough?
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:59, Reply)
I'll be honest here jimbo, my grasp of the science is ropey at best, but i'd have said even with Ice, she would have to be literally pouring i down her throat to get ill the way she did.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:23,
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it perforated her stomach I believeso perhaps there were little unmelted bits still in it when she necked it.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:34,
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Or maybe the expansion mentioned above happened.Ice would make fuck all difference because it's still hundreds of degrees hotter than liquid nitrogen.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:36, Reply)
Then the Chiswick flyover is probably a better option.(or add another £500 and I'll see what I can do).
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:46, Reply)
does the number of carats you get directly peoportional to the size of the deceased?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
I haven't done the specific conversion,but more carbon = more diamond at the end of it all.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:47, Reply)
Hey everyone, come to my "bash" it's in a cellar on an abandoned industrial estate, free drugs all round.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:48,
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My little runaway, a run run run run runaway(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:36,
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This isn't too far off what Monty's bash was.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:52,
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was he planning on killing all the fatties that came to turn into diamonds though?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:55,
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Not sure, I left early and was easily the skinniest person there.I think it would be fair to assume that he was planning that, though.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:59,
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You better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone'cause they times, they are a-changing
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:51,
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think I've seen why Rob is running away crying www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/oct/09/matthew-woods-joking-april-jones-facebook-sickipedia?newsfeed=true
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:52, Reply)
oh, surely all this will do is get rob some free advertising, meaning we might get some newbies.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:54,
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It doesn't mention b3ta, but sikipedia is pretty seperate.I don't want sikipedia lols over here.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:55, Reply)
is there not a link to his book from here?i thought there might be similar there linking to here.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 15:57,
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yeah, that was actually a surprise, (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:01,
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You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:33,
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Of course you don't, you need a weather vane.Or a flag, or some grass you can throw in the air.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:35, Reply)
In these crazy times, there are weather 'apps' available for most 'smart phones',One or two simple clicks and hey presto! All the wind-based information a chap could ever need - probably more than that!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:39,
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My weather app came preloaded on my new phoneIt told me my sisters wedding was going to be a washout, but actually it was a lovely day. So I don't really trust it anymore.
I downloaded angry birds.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:42, Reply)
There's something Fish-y going on here!!!!!!IT'S A JOKE ABOUT MICHAEL FISH AND HIS FAILURE TO PREDICT A MAJOR STORM!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:46,
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This was the day of the wedding, the sky was blue and sunnyand the app said it was going to rain heavily the entire day.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:47, Reply)
'Massive cock-end', as I like to call you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:50,
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Downloaded eh?I had one move into my flat!!!!!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:44,
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DO YOU GET THIS JOKE THAT I'VE JUST MADE??????(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:45,
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I DO!!!!I FIND IT AMUSING THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS ANGRY!!!!
BECAUSE YOUR THE REASON SHES ANGRY!!!!!
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:47, Reply)
THIS IS PART OF THE JOKE!!!!!!!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:47,
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There's no one I'd rather beI just wish I had never been born
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:32,
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I worry about you TH, I really really do.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:38,
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I can only assume you're packing your things and moving south(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:51,
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I warn you, I'm basically a combination of Peter Green and Eric ClaptonIn as much as I have severe mental health issues and a scorching alcohol dependancy problem.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:58,
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So you have no ulterior motive for inviting a pub landlord to move next to you then(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:59,
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I think he might have hit his head or something. I'm worried too.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:41,
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LOOK at him. Not gay? Really?
Next you'll be telling me Ronaldo is straight.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Trust your instincts, Luke.He's a 'woolly woofter' and no mistake.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:45,
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Not reallyBut that's not to say that I wouldn't be open to the idea if it presented itself. Why deny yourself something that might be really great, dig?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:50,
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Engaging in what I believe the young refer to as 'bottoming' with Stephen Vaiis so unlikely to be 'great' as to be unworthy of consideration.
I'd bum the skeleton of Jimi until it was DUST, mind.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:53,
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And then, no count, snort said dust. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:54,
Reply)
Oh FFS. I can't be bothered. You know what I meant. Fucking iPad keyboard.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:55,
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You've made a right count of yourself here.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:58,
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SMEG YEAH!!!!!!!!I'm coming round yours to watch it. We can wear costumes and say smeg a lot!!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:55,
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A gay piss-porn version of Red Dwarfis a revolting prospect
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:00,
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I'd rather watch that than the 'proper' one I think.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:02,
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Ian Hislop's excellent programme on the history of English manners is on at the same time.I SUGGEST YOU WATCH THAT INSTEAD, YOU MIGHT FUCKING LEARN SOME.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:56,
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I shall be braising quail in sherry this evening. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
I watched it last week and it was gash. Nothing new. Tonight is the Victorian period.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:57, Reply)
It was in no way gash. You count.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:00,
Reply)
Oh, don't get me wrongI'd go gay for Vai purely so I can get my hands on his goodies. His guitar related goodies I mean.
The man's a real virtuoso, but I can't stomach even a whole album of it.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:55,
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I can't break the 5min barrier with him.cf all those dreadful technical widdlers. I hate that shit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:57,
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It does get a bit muchWhen he slows it down (like many other artists like him) he shows what an incredible player he is. But yes, it's all a bit much really.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:59,
Reply)
I'd rather hear some old coon play a two note blues solothan hear some Teutonic neo-classical wankmeister playing three guitars at once or some shit, any day of the week.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:02,
Reply)
This was a rather rude post. Soz everyone.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:06,
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Sorry TH, you know I like you a lot, right,but WHAT PART OF 'NO RETURNS' DO YOU NOT FUCKING GET?
If were not a secret mod myself, I'd fucking gaz one here, so help me God. I said NO RETURNs ffs.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:49,
Reply)
'Bummers' are, I understand, 'deaf'.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 16:54,
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It's all the spunk you see,It goes hose piped in their anus and at first its ok, 'cus it only feels the feet and legs and then torso, but once it reaches the top of the head it starts to leak out their ears and forms a crust.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:23,
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Ah yes, the 'Almond Crust'. I've heard of this.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:24,
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You know how when they found freddy mercury they found 50 guy's spunk in his stomach.Given the technology available at the time, I wonder how they differentiated between 50 differnent people, or if they guessimated.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:26,
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I have a headacheand I'm grumpy
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:21,
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Hello Grumpy, nice to meet you! Where are the 6 others?HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAHAAHHAHA
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:24,
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Meet my friendPunchy
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:25,
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oh, now I've been mean to GonzHow's it going, Gonz?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:25,
Reply)
Hey, CavesI totally bought a train ticket today!
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:49,
Reply)
yeah, got your emailI made a thing out of old phones and wires and stuff which now looks a bit like an improvised timer for a bomb :/
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:50,
Reply)
Excellent. I will be doing some of this tomorrow night if I have time.maybe tonight too if I can stay awake.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 9 Oct 2012, 17:51,
Reply)
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