I'm in a good mood this morning for maybe the first time in a month
In what is not in any way a positivity thread tell me what last put you in a good mood.

Alt: I'm off on a site visit tomorrow to replace a server, that feels awfully grown up, what did you last do that made you feel like an adult?

AltAlt: I covered my plastic Christmas tree in Halloween decoration over the weekend, it looks well cool, what was the last childish thing you did that brought you pleasure?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 10:58, 84 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Your mum
Alt: Your mum
AltAlt: Your mum
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:00, Reply)

Daddy!
I think I'd actually be quite chuffed if you were doing my mum. I soo want a step-dad to complete the set.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:01, Reply)

You can't call everyone who fucks her your step-dad.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:04, Reply)

he'd sound like scatman having a seizure
DADDAD-DAD-DADDADDAD-OH
DADDAD-DAD-DADDADDAD-OH
DADDAD-DAD-DADDADDAD-OH
DADDAD-DAD-DADDADDAD-OH :(
(quintsy, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:06, Reply)

I fucking can if I want to!
You're not my father! *slams door*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)

Absolute textbook your mumming, tangles. 9.79/10

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Thanks for that 'Paul Ross'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)

I'm really "into film"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:32, Reply)

you went back in time and did his mum as a child like some kind of noncey gary sparrow?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:14, Reply)

Precisely that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Cocaine and about ten pints put me in a superb mood just last Saturday.
Alt: Cocaine and about ten pints, just last Saturday
Altalt: Cocaine and about ten pints, just last Saturday
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:01, Reply)

and my mum, naturally.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:01, Reply)

That is a wholly unnatural experience.
Believe me.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:02, Reply)

I DEFEATED SPIDERS!
I feel inordinately pleased about this.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:04, Reply)

All of them?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:06, Reply)

all the ones in my car, yes.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:06, Reply)

even the eggs inside the seats?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:15, Reply)

I fumigated the car with a bug bomb, and then sprayed crawly cruncher into the gaps where I wasn't sure the gas would get into.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:20, Reply)

alright Ozdolf Hitler

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:25, Reply)

pfft.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:30, Reply)

Presumably, being Aussie spiders
these would be things like my personal favourite the golden orb weaver, delightfully described in the botanics in Sydney as "considered harmless by Australian standards. Territorial and very aggresive, even towards humans. Bite side effects include irritation, swelling, nausea, dizziness, tissue necrosis" ?

You country has epic cuntspiders.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:10, Reply)

Huntsmans, a weird orange striped one, and lots smaller black ones.
my skin was crawling the whole time.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:13, Reply)

did you gas them?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:14, Reply)

Huntsmans are possibly the ugliest bastard spiders in the world
Although, bizarrely, they aren't venomous, are they? They must get the piss ripped solidly by all the other spiders.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:28, Reply)

They don't need to be poisonous
They're big enough to wrestle you to the ground and inject their eggs directly down your throat facehugger style, should they so choose.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Sorry, venomous.
I do know the difference, honest.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:41, Reply)

piders
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:17, Reply)

"Considered harmless by Australian standards" "tissue necrosis"
There is no other place on Earth so utterly inimical to human life as Australia aside from the bottom of the ocean.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:26, Reply)

I cannot for the life of me work out
why little things with no natural predators bigger than a hedgehog would evolve venom so extravegantly lethal that it can bring down a hippo.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:30, Reply)

For the lolz?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:32, Reply)

it's all just for the shits and giggles.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:34, Reply)

Sheer spite, badge. Sheer bloody-minded spite.

( Kroney, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:32, Reply)

there used to be some enormous stuff
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australian_megafauna#Extinct_Australian_megafauna

maybe they were dead jealous of a hippo with a pouch
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:46, Reply)

I know I am.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:57, Reply)

i am in a bad mood today
i just looked through my friends list on facebook, and some of the friends of friends

why are there no people left in the world that aren't lolwacky pricks? why must they all dress up like spastics with stupid hair, ridiculous make-up, twattish-gurning faces and facial hair like a former glam rock star arrested on sex offence charges?

why?
(quintsy, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:05, Reply)

Beats me, Q.
Those 'comic-con' flids are fucking EVERYWHERE these days. STOP IT YOU CUNTS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:07, Reply)

I actually agree. I preferred it when it was my dirty secret, not something the world and his wife were into.
(I've actually seen people dressed as 'The World and His Wife' as it happens).
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:12, Reply)

Q, I find it best not to look at facebook on a monday morning
for exactly this reason.

Yesterday, the wife of one of my friends posted a status to her family back in the UK, stating that they shouldn't worry as she was safe from the hurricane.

She leaves in LA. Geographically, Ireland is closer to the fucking hurricane than LA is. Fucking idiots.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:12, Reply)

It's precisely why I can have nothing to do with Facebook full stop.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:15, Reply)

Not entirely nothing.
Its ubiquity has ensured that your face is on there, whether you choose to participate or not.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:16, Reply)

we have a rule at the pub.
if you're dressed as the crow, all you get is water. Because you're clearly a cunt.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Poor Cavy.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:14, Reply)

that can't be good for business

(quintsy, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:17, Reply)

shut up, i've seen bash photos
you guys are the worst of the lot
(quintsy, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:17, Reply)

sometimes q, principles come first.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:27, Reply)

Mr Belding never did, damn that naughty Zack
i have tea now, made by louise so it's shit. she might as well have thrown boiled piss in my eyes
(quintsy, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:29, Reply)

AND I'VE BEEN TOO BUSY FOR A CUPPA THIS MORNING
cunts
(quintsy, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Alt: I got a second monitor attached my computer because one isn't enough to be able to do all the work I do.
AltAlt: I started pretending that I am piloting space ship using them.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:07, Reply)

What is it that normally makes you such a sourpuss?
I normally start the day in a good mood, then people ruin it.

alt: it dawned on me when we were sat in the pub the other week, discussing mortgage rates with my brother, who is buying a flat. I had to order a round of tequila to redress the stupid balance

altalt, Took my little cousin down the pool and went on all the flumes, waterslides are fucking ace
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:11, Reply)

The last 6 weeks have been insanely busy f what with one thing and another
and I've had a heavy cold for most of them. Normally I am quite cheery, but the last month has been a bit of a cunt.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:44, Reply)

In other news, I am probably likely to find out what the health service is like out here. My epilepsy is the worst it has ever been.
I know, MTFU etc. You bunch of unsympathetic cunts.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:12, Reply)

*throws in my washing*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:13, Reply)

Lies. You can't afford clothes.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:14, Reply)

Please don't choke on a sock.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:16, Reply)

Or a cock.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Please fuck off.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:18, Reply)

i hope you don't spasm so hard you break your back, twist your neck, bite your tongue and bleed to death, battered x
i want to read some of your poppet fan-fic porn
(quintsy, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:22, Reply)

don't
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:44, Reply)

take your fucking pills and have a lie down.
Although, how bad do you get? full flailing shitstorm?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:15, Reply)

I have taken enough pills to make me rattle when I fart.
Full on lose consciousness seizures, known as 'Grand mal tonic clonic' seizures.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Or "spazmo windmill".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:18, Reply)

Hahaha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I had epileptic seizures once.
Well, I had two. I got better though on account of being so manly. You should try pulling your socks up and getting over it.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Go eat some moths cunty.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:19, Reply)

Haha
No, I was lucky. I had your type of seizures but I guess they weren't severe enough to be permanent, or it wasn't full blown epilepsy, or something. I was on a course of pills for a couple of years and they've never come back.

Did almost bite a woman's finger off during one of them, though.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:20, Reply)

But his Mum forgave him.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:38, Reply)

It must be so embarrassing for his family when he does it in public.
You'd think he'd try to maintain at least a modicum of decorum, maybe take himself somewhere private if he's going to spaz out.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:20, Reply)

To be fair, he's taken himself to Poland.
I think that might be distancing himself a bit too far.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:21, Reply)

As an ambassador for our country it is all the more important that he keeps a stiff upper lip whilst over there.
We can't have these Poles assuming that we all spend our time flailing around on the floor.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Ha!
Compared to how some of these people spend their time that would be quite civilised.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:26, Reply)

Maybe he needs more "Lebensraum"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:25, Reply)

"spackensraum"

( Kroney, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:28, Reply)

Don't take the piss, you lot are next....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:30, Reply)

Flidskrieg
etc etc
( Kroney, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:31, Reply)

hahaha!!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Ausch-fits.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:34, Reply)

arbeit spack frei.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:39, Reply)

Barbiturate macht frei

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:39, Reply)

Belmsen

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:40, Reply)

You're worse than Fitler.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:41, Reply)

I'm sorry for my part in the worst pun subthread ever.

( Kroney, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:42, Reply)

It's too late for the Nurembelm defense

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:45, Reply)

mini ape always cheers me up, she is also the feeling i feel quite adult sometimes
altalt: I farted in the bath and cupped it under my hand to release whne my wife came in
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:40, Reply)

I managed to fart most of the 'We buy any car dot com' tune a few months ago. I was delighted. My wife was disgusted.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 29 Oct 2012, 11:45, Reply)