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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've just had a hell hour.
I was down tidying the cellar for the delivery tomorrow, throwing barrels around like the burly man hunk that I am. Well, turns out the chains holding the gas canisters aren't mounted in the wall very well, and I knocked a gas canister over. It didn't burst (thankfully) but it has stripped all the gas piping off the wall. I'm now awaiting an emergency engineer. In the cold, as my pub slowly fills with invisible creeping death.
When was the last time some one else's shoddy work (or your own fat handed clumsiness, depending on how you look at it) almost killed you?

Tldr? I'm a clumsy twunt.

Alt: why do you stay here?
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:27, 203 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
if you're cold you should get a fire going

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)
*asplodes*

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Carbon dioxide puts out fires
but going in the cellar may be bad for your health if it's leaking
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:43, Reply)
I'm very aware how dangerous it is.
I had a manager went down in to a cellar in an old place I worked, passed out within a few minutes. Lucky another fella went down soon after. We had to drag him out up the drop. Nasty stuff. Hospital and all.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)
why don't you just add the fizz with helium instead

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:58, Reply)
World helium shortage eely,
We've all gotta do our bit.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Plus makes ordering drinks difficult if your voice has gone ultrasonic

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Alt: In case a certain little pig goes by.
Oh me, oh my.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)
I thought Invisible Creeping Death's second album was the best.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:31, Reply)
Oops. Unlucky mon.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Yeah. still. at least it wasn't saturday morning.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)
I'll bet you wish
You had your own gas chamber like Windy.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Mail orders Zyklon B

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Should I stay or should I go now?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Where should I move to, Winders?
It needs to be West London, really.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:38, Reply)
you know,
You can get from oxford to London in less than an hour now. Move here and enjoy our parks and meadows. Also, buy beer from me.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:40, Reply)
Oxford's are crappy shoes though

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:42, Reply)
I can get to London in less than half an hour from Slough
I want to live in London and still get to my current job.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Current job?
So you’re a baker or an electrician then?
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Slough is shit.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:06, Reply)
It certainly is. But please fuck off until I have bought a place here and can't change my mind.
Then you can slag it off till your hearts content.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:13, Reply)
Hush now child
get all Curtis Mayfield and "Move on up"
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Semen Patel just got mentioned on telly
Stay where?
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:40, Reply)
here.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Where?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:42, Reply)
There on the stair

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:44, Reply)
At the bottom?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Right there!

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:11, Reply)
With what type of shoes on?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:22, Reply)
I'l clog on and find out

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Well, I declare

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:58, Reply)
There's a nice story from new york today.
The people who don't have power started having mass bbqs on the street to use up all the meat in their fridges/freezers.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:43, Reply)
MOAR power to the people I say

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)
then when that runs out they'll move onto the weakest neighbours

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:00, Reply)
Plenty of rats to grill first.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Hang on just one goddam' minute here
You post about a story WITHOUT a link

I'm disappointed in you Chompy

*shakes head*
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)
BBC may be broken

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:13, Reply)
THE FUCKING INTERNET MUST BE BROKEN

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:13, Reply)
like the mountain

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:23, Reply)
how are they going to populate the most read chart without psychochomp :(

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Probably when I fell off mt bike in traffic
if the guy behind hadn't stopped he'd have run over my head.

Alt: in the hope it'll get better again when Monty dies his inevitable, drug induced death.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Mount Bike the hardest of all climbs

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:48, Reply)
shoulda been "my"
mountain bikes are for tossers, unless you are on a mountain.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Goats are better for mountains

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)
yup, it's always been my chosen mod3e of transport

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Hot air balloons are so yesterday

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)
they are for gayers and Boyce

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)
This is separate how?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)
It's an new rockabilly band
Monty Boyce & The Gayers
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)
You must have got into a few scrapes on your round the world trip too?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
If you have 80 days to listen to the story

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)
*sigh*
still failing to find any fun in this waekest of all memes.

Maybe I'll pretend to be Professor Elemental, that's bee cooler than being linked to a fictional character I once had the same moustache as. although I don't think Philias Fogg's facial hair was ever even mentioned.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:52, Reply)
But the weakest memes are often the funniest.
And you don't get to choose your own - the internet decides.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)
true enough. I guess I just never 'got' this one at all.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:57, Reply)
I have a moustache,
I wonder if I can have a meme too.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:05, Reply)
It's all meme meme with you, isn't it?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:08, Reply)
Movember is here
www.google.co.uk/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&rlz=1T4ADFA_enGB420GB421&biw=1366&bih=558&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=fYq-jtVxUdFGpM:&imgrefurl=http://www.maxfarquar.com/2012/10/run-mo-farah-run/&docid=WFhTqKSIxCVqXM&imgurl=http://www.maxfarquar.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Run-Mo-Farah-Run-From-Jimmy-Savile.jpg&w=700&h=491&ei=PHSSUNKbMefT0QXSyoHICw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=1055&vpy=174&dur=2297&hovh=188&hovw=268&tx=190&ty=109&sig=112468380014485307068&page=2&tbnh=135&tbnw=212&start=18&ndsp=20&ved=1t:429,i:185
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:08, Reply)
well, that is a long link to something very shit.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:10, Reply)
It's a long running joke
HAHAHHAHAHHAAAA
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:13, Reply)
officechortle

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:14, Reply)
*consults notes left by TH*
It says here that you are posting from the Middle Ages.
Is that your meme?
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:15, Reply)
How did you fall off.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Got his moustache caught in the chain.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:02, Reply)
got to close to the curb and my pedal hit it.
I was stupid.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:57, Reply)

stupid off my tits on Lithium
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:58, Reply)
As the Whambulance came he then Flounced

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:58, Reply)
I was going to a penny farthing joke.
But I made a promise to a man who is now gone, to be a better, more likeable poster. So I won't.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:03, Reply)
Best poster EVAH
tennis girl scratching bum TRUFAX
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:06, Reply)
I have a cold.
And I'm hungry. I need sustenance.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Needy prick

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)
eat the snot.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:54, Reply)
No.
It's snot very nice.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Booger off

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)
I just dun a pump lol

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Edgy

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)
*plugs in delay pedal*

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)
*balds*

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:09, Reply)

d g
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)
I cannot believe nobody else had done this
YOU'RE SLIPPING, PEOPLE.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)
You'll lose your (Plim)sole for that

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 12:56, Reply)
SHOE PUN FILM SUBTHREAD GO!
one shoe over the cuckoos nest!
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Snakes on a Trainer

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Forrest Gumboot.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Nike of the Living Dead

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:15, Reply)
Fuck

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)
(Nike)Airwolf

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Rockport '77

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Trainers planes and automobiles

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Das Boot

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:16, Reply)
Trainernator

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Sea of Sand(les)

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:17, Reply)
Lock Socks and 2 smoking barrels!

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)
(Size) Se7en

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Sneakers

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Naked Gun 33 1/3, The Final Insole

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Indiana Jones and the Last (Jimmy) Choosade

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:20, Reply)

Platoon form
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:20, Reply)
Stand In Me

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Hitch HIKERS guide to the galaxy

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:21, Reply)
Dead Man Walking Shoes

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Trading Laces

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Excellent

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Blade runner

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:23, Reply)
Trainer Day

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)
running man

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)
HEELRAISER
(starring Battered )
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:25, Reply)
+ sleepless in Stilettos

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:27, Reply)
Throw momma from the Train(ER)

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)
Sole Men

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:27, Reply)
The Shoes Brothers

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)
I know what you did last slipper.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)
flip(per) flops

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)
The Eyelet-alian Job

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Very good

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)
You're only supposed to lace the bloody shoes up!

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)
hahaha!

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Real Steel toe caps

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)
If I could add TV shows
Doc Martin
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)
Do it,
I got away with a sock one.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:32, Reply)
The Empire Strikes Slingback.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)
WIN

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:31, Reply)
Very good
*claps*
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:33, Reply)
"LOOK OUT, WEDGE!!!"

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:48, Reply)
lols
Red shoes, standing by
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:48, Reply)
"That's no moon-boot!"

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Jimi Hendrix Live At Birkenstock

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)
Drugstore Cowboy Boots

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Brogue-ans Run

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)
I like this

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)
Mementoe

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:34, Reply)
the sequel Camel Toe was way better

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:37, Reply)
I've seen it

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Cut above the rest
so the review read
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:01, Reply)
"An epic ride - 5 stars"

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:04, Reply)
easy for deaf lip readers to understand

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:06, Reply)
"The astounding prequel to MooseHoof"
Paul Ross - The Star
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:08, Reply)
The Day The Earth Stood On Stillettos

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:35, Reply)
Brogueback Mountain

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)
Crocs-odile Dundee

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:36, Reply)
LoubouTintin

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:37, Reply)
The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Loafer

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:38, Reply)
Kinky boots

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:40, Reply)
Rip Van Winklepicker

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Has no one done Police Academy 3: Back In Trainers yet?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:42, Reply)
MAHONEY!!!!!
/ac
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:42, Reply)


(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)
that's him!

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)
It's a Wonderful Loafer

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Hear My Thong

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:44, Reply)
? is a thong shoe related?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:46, Reply)
Let me see

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)
*bends over*

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)
Aussie word for flip flops.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:47, Reply)
Well I never!
Thanks Chompy I have learnt something new
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:51, Reply)
I'm here to help.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:52, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1772576
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Yep now BBC is down he's looking up australian lingo
POPPET IF YOUR STILL HERE RUN FAST,RUN NOW
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:54, Reply)
Espadriller Killer

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:02, Reply)
CONverse AIR

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:02, Reply)
Kappa Fear

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:08, Reply)
Star Trek III - The Sergio Tacchini For Spock

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:12, Reply)
Managed to miss drilling a hole into a gas pipe by 2cm
Drilled a hole into a water pipe
Had garage roller door fall off mounts onto my head
Almost chopped in half by falling glass door from network cabinet

Basically it is a miracle that I'm not dead

Alt:
What else can I do?
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:02, Reply)
Crikey.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:04, Reply)
Crumbs

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Various electrocutions too
Including 240v to the neck once
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)

www.hurriyetdailynews.com/electric-shock-kills-23-in-saudi-arabia-wedding.aspx?pageID=238&nID=33680&NewsCatID=352
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:41, Reply)
Pussies

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:43, Reply)
I liked the link to Trainers at the top

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:56, Reply)
*turns off adblock* Oh yeah

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:03, Reply)
don't mock me.

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Gosh DM

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:10, Reply)
:(

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:10, Reply)
*rubs head and pats back*
Only playing WP
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Alt: DYAAKY

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:04, Reply)
I'm fucking trying!

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:07, Reply)
You are kinda rubbish at D(YAAK)IY

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:10, Reply)
I can't even delete my account
*sobs*
*electrocutes self on keyboard*
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:11, Reply)
The layer of sperm from wanking is an insulating factor
Well so Kroney says
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:19, Reply)
Phew

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:22, Reply)
EWWWW
barnie, magroo
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:24, Reply)
*grubs*

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:26, Reply)
whistles

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 13:30, Reply)
afternoon!
Usually it's my own clumsiness which is my downfall. So, are you dead yet?

alt: because I love everyone here so much
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:08, Reply)
nah, sorted now.
Back in the pub. Still, can't open till we have a full gas safety survey. They will be here "within 3 hours"
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:10, Reply)
time for a party

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:10, Reply)
Oi Penelope Pitstop, am I invited

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:13, Reply)
hell yeah
eveyone round to a gas filled Windy's*!

*this seems appropriate
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:14, Reply)
Best location New York?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:16, Reply)
I wanna do a fart in it

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:16, Reply)
eh?

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:17, Reply)
No gas. No lager.
Beer and spirits only.
(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:22, Reply)
it'll be a gas!

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:23, Reply)
:(

(, Thu 1 Nov 2012, 14:24, Reply)

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