What's the best thing you've ever built/made/painted/created?
alt: do you grocery shop on the internet, i'm thinking of giving it a go.

altalt: My friend's baby managed to eat some poison this morning (rat i assume) what's the closet you've ever come to death?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:02, 126 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

My shed
Alt: No. I want to chose the fresh produce myself

AltAlt: Epileptic seizures.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:05, Reply)

I'm trying to work out if my local grocer is cheaper than Sainsbury's, but that requires me to have a list of costs per kilo next time I go there

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:06, Reply)

If it is anything like mine, it probably will be on most things.
It will almost certainly be better quality, but it throws up the inconvenience of having to visit two places to complete your shopping.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Oi!
Hotel booked for Friday, Stunned reckons it is in a handy location.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:08, Reply)

Excellent. East or West?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:09, Reply)

Sort of Covent Garden area.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:12, Reply)

Good stuff.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:14, Reply)

My brother has regular seizures
he also surfs a lot. I told our mother that I was worried about what would happen if he had a seizure whilst surfing. She said "Well he would drown and wouldn't know anything about it" which seemed an accurate but rather odd thing for a mother to say.
( Peej, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:10, Reply)

In other news since the halloween party I went to the other week
Two out of the three couples there have broken up. It wasn't that sort of party, at least I think, I was pretty drunk.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:05, Reply)

did you not put your keys in the skull?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:30, Reply)

That would be a
Skeleton key then.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Err...
Something about you being a bent spastic.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:05, Reply)

Have I mentioned my album?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:07, Reply)

Not enough.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:14, Reply)

Boring answer
but as a father of two beautiful daughters I am going to have to say either my bike or my custom fx lightsaber.

Alt. Yes I do and it saves me about £30 a week

Alt Alt. I can't think of a close to death story but I caught my 19 month old drinking 30% coffee liqueur yesterday. Parenting skillz!
( Peej, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:07, Reply)

A baby
but the lady in question had it terminated lest her husband, "Mad" Frankie Fraser, find out.

AltAlt: see above
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:12, Reply)

We do non fresh shopping on t'internet.
But I like to feel the melons when I shop.

I am the sort of bloke that likes to touch the baps.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:14, Reply)

I say!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:15, Reply)

+ stroke the cucumbers.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:17, Reply)

And gobble the Turkeys

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:19, Reply)

and sexually harass the staff

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:19, Reply)

With my massive trouser marrow.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:25, Reply)

massive trouser marrow baby mange tout
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:28, Reply)

And sit on a butternut squash.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Wide end first?

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:25, Reply)

test out the baby changing facilities?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Alt alt: I had an anaphylactic shock once during an operation and nearly died.
Or the time I had a kidney infection and was two days from my kidneys shutting down altogether.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:14, Reply)

The best thing I've ever built/made/painted/created?
Built - Several kit cars
Made - The jigs and fixtures for my acoustic guitar project
Painted - I'm crap at painting so I keep away from brushes
Created - with help, my children
Alt: No, I try to shop locally if possible, there's a few local suppliers that do good deals so I try to support them.
altalt: A dead heat between the time the car I was in was shot at on the road in Ukraine, the time I was stabbed in a pub and the time I broke my neck.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:16, Reply)

You have /QOTW written all over your face

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:38, Reply)

Once a month I get the staples online.
And then pick up fresh things on the way home. Best of both worlds.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:20, Reply)

How much stapling do you do?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:26, Reply)

None, I've got paperclips, which are reusable and more efficient.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Best things, mostly joinery creations
Most of the interiors of our last two houses , designing then building is very rewarding .

alt: have done, but prefer to buy veg etc local.

altalt : writing my mum's old Mini off by rolling it at about 50 mph, seat belts save lives!
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:25, Reply)

i have a blackboard in my flat and i draw nice things on it for when people come round
a magenta cock if any of them are from here, naturally.

alt: i do a bulk drinks order online, because hauling 100 bottles of evian and 100 cans of diet coke up to my flat is a gigantic ballache, even with the lift. and the porters seem to think they have better things to do, for some obscure reason. otherwise no.

altalt: writing my dad's car off at 90mph on the m56.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Better than writing off your own car.

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:33, Reply)

this is true
i can say confidently that i have never had an insurance claim. the bank, on the other hand...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:39, Reply)

does water not come out of your taps?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:37, Reply)

t fl
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:38, Reply)

wafler?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:39, Reply)

That would make it a sluice ?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:41, Reply)

yes
manky skanky london water that about 15 other kidneys have pissed out first, with bits of limescale floating in it. no thanks.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:40, Reply)

what a fool, he'll be asking why you have all those oxygen cylinders delivered next

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:43, Reply)

he'll just assume it's something to do with world of dullcraft gaming sessions

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Don't paint me with that filthy Kroney brush

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:50, Reply)

sexiest of all the brushes

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Bebbeh!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:55, Reply)

like he could pull off a hat, greggs or otherwise

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Not with my stupid fucking pumpkin head.
I'd look ridiculous.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:02, Reply)

how would you look any more ridiculous than you usually do?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:07, Reply)

You're very mean to me, you know.

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:11, Reply)

it's because you love it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:21, Reply)

He could satnd in the light

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:11, Reply)

But then he'd be near the moths

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:13, Reply)

clapclapclap

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:20, Reply)

:(

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:23, Reply)

But tends to paint itself into a corner.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:00, Reply)

kroney is a bit unique actually
he's only a bit of a rare twat, whereas every other gamer is a total twat
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Ta, love.
*trigger fingers*
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:02, Reply)

i take it back

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:06, Reply)

you're making claw hands that you use on a controller with triggers aren't you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:06, Reply)

hahahahahahahaha

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:07, Reply)

No, I'm PC you IDIOT

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:10, Reply)

You're a wee bit Howard Hughes, you know.

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:44, Reply)

wee bit Howard Hughes, fat northern tart.


fucking hell I'm bored.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:45, Reply)

yours is the pizza with spit and pubes on it xxx

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:47, Reply)

which one is mine/

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:49, Reply)

yours is the invisible one

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:57, Reply)

:-(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:59, Reply)

hey, you were invited
you chose to make up a wedding or a funeral or something
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:59, Reply)

You never even confirmed the date!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:04, Reply)

calm down love and read your own sig...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Classic tactic to make you feel included, when in fact you never were.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:07, Reply)

INoRITE
She was all like "come along, oh no, there's no date yet"...next thing i know it was last week :(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:10, Reply)

Where is my one?
Where's my invite?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:52, Reply)

you've got your invite written all over your FACE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:58, Reply)

There's a finite amount of water on the planet
Evian's been through as many kidneys and cocks as London tap water.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:01, Reply)

yeah but it's filtered through an entire fucking mountain

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:02, Reply)

so it's full of goat piss

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:05, Reply)

but it's chilled goat piss
so that's ok
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:06, Reply)

Just not over-chilled.
Goat's piss should be around 10 degrees or so, much like Chablis.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Which is more effective than a kidney and a water treatment works how?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:24, Reply)

altalt: When I accused renowned Tory Victoria Coren
of hating Thatcher. Christ, I've never seen a woman turn so fast.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:32, Reply)

my space marines are all painted in the impressionist style

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:32, Reply)

They all look like Mike Yarwood ?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:35, Reply)

Well this is going well.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:54, Reply)

I thought so

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:55, Reply)

Not enough news links is my professional opinion.
needs some spicing up with world events.
( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:55, Reply)

gaza eh, what's that all about?!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:56, Reply)

I think it's bad, Nakers.

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:03, Reply)

Fog on the Tyne

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:04, Reply)

I'm going to make mulled cider in a couple of weeks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:56, Reply)

Good for you.
I saw a good recipe for that somewhere if I find it again I'll gaz you it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:57, Reply)

Much better than mulled wine I reckon
i wonder if one could "mull" beer...

Oh and recipe would beexcellent cheers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 14:58, Reply)

Nah, the hop oils boil off when you mull beer, making it taste weird and bitter.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:00, Reply)

good brew master knowledge

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:06, Reply)

EXCEL QUESTION TIME!`
i have a simple formula that spits out a result such as £0.39, I want the result to always be rounded up to the next nearest 5p increment. can that be done in the formula or does it need a new column and new formula?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I'm imagininge psycho frantically flipping through his dorling kimberley excel books with a bit of tongue sticking out and a furrowed brow

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:14, Reply)

I'm imagining you naked.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:16, Reply)

with a bit of tongue sticking out and a furrowed brow?`

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:17, Reply)

Everyone's O face is different I guess

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:27, Reply)

Use the =CEILING formular

(PsychoChomp, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:17, Reply)

top excelling there chompy
Although had to use a new column
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:22, Reply)

Wasnt this a main QOTW a couple weeks ago?
alt. I did but some of their substitutes are an actual joke.

alt alt. When I was about 8 I had a bouncy castle land on me and was a bit crushed/concussed.

On the beach with a playgroup. Winds picked up and it got threw up in the air and landed on me... :/
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:13, Reply)

A playgroup landed on you?
Eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:15, Reply)

Alt: nope but then I walk past Sainsbury's every night so I've no need really
Altalt: was in an v unpleasant car crash once.

Fascinating stuff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:15, Reply)

You've just rescued this thread.

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:16, Reply)

Thinking about cooking this tonight:

womansday.ninemsn.com/food/everydayrecipes/8524170/chicken-with-gnocchi

what do you reckon?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:19, Reply)

Yum, yum.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:20, Reply)

My thinking exactly. Quick to do as well.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:22, Reply)

I reckon you ought to stop browsing sites like "Womansday"

( Kroney, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Never.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:23, Reply)

Looks good, I've always beena little suspicious of gnocchi
pasta or potato? It doesn't know what it is; like a half cast child
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:24, Reply)

You're not allowed to say half caste.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 15:27, Reply)