Newslink time
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/tv_and_radio/3777813.stm

If you had a puppet what form would it take?

Alt: Best driving song. I say the 1812 overture.

Altalt: Best thing to do with chicken.
(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 13:49, 101 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

AltAlt: cook it & eat it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 13:51, Reply)

So HP's buyout of Autonomy was a massive fuck up.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 13:55, Reply)

Weird, my next door neighbour left them just as it was sold
he thought it was very odd the amount HP paid
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:00, Reply)

why would you call your dog spit?
Chococlate biscuit

alt: Back in Black

altalt: BBQ it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 13:56, Reply)

What would you call your dog if you had one Naked Ape?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 13:57, Reply)

Syndrome

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 13:59, Reply)

Spastic.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 13:59, Reply)

Mrs Ape
/joking
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:00, Reply)

*innocent face*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:03, Reply)

It's better than Swallow

( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:17, Reply)

Worlds shittest ventriloquist
the dog never made a noise except spitting.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:21, Reply)

I don't like todays threads very much at all,
i might go do something else for a bit.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:00, Reply)

yeah, fuck you winders
Now he's gone we can start posting all the good threads
(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:06, Reply)

You were horrible to me yesterday,
and again today, whats your beef homes?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:09, Reply)

was I horrible to you yesterday?
I'm sorry windy pig, I take it all back I don't mean to bully you, you're lovely really.

X
(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:10, Reply)

you know,
I think twohats really might never be coming back.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:11, Reply)

What's the story there? He's one of the Good Ones.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:12, Reply)

I don't really know,
we had a couple of gaz converstaions, and we agreed that /talk had one to shit, and wasn't worth it, and he felt this place wasn't quite right, too much blowharding and negativity and said he might take a break, or whatever. And then just vanished. I e-mailed him but never got a reply.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:16, Reply)

That's a shame. He's a good chap.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:16, Reply)

yup.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:19, Reply)

he ran away with baldmonkey?
Leaving both their wives and kids to support themselves on a shoestring budget and under an insurmountable pile of debt?

Fuck
(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:17, Reply)

All they have to remember their husbands by is a stolen dildo and a fist-sized hole in the wall :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:19, Reply)

Haha, that was a brilliant thread.

( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:20, Reply)

"the wall" was mrs baldmonkey's pet name

(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Is it because I kept mixing him up with you?
I feel bad about that
( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:18, Reply)

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT KRONEY!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:19, Reply)

I doubt it,
I thought that was quite funny.
I miss the way he thought I was from the sixteenth century.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:36, Reply)

I miss the way he used to say 'imagine that' but in italics :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:39, Reply)

he was one of the good ones, that's for sure.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:41, Reply)

I like the way his beer pumps were always highly polished.

( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:41, Reply)

Don't say that!
Don't ever say that.
I'm going to wait here for him.
He'll come, he wouldn't let me down.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:13, Reply)

I woudln't hold your breath, Tangles
he said he hated you most of all.
( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:19, Reply)

HE DIDNT YOUR A LIAR!!
YOUR A BLOODY LIAR KRONEY!!!!!!!!!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:20, Reply)

Ironically he thought you were the one who kept asking him how his pub business was going.

( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:22, Reply)

YOUVE RUINED WHAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONLY CHANCE OF HAPPINESS

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:24, Reply)

Yeah.
Ah well.

*shrug*
( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:25, Reply)

:(

(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:15, Reply)

they are shit, i dunno why some days people are "funny" and "interesting" and other days, not so much

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:07, Reply)

You are never funny or interesting.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:08, Reply)

I think it's this sort of negative thinking that is killing creativity ojn here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:09, Reply)

ojn?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:11, Reply)

On jew nipples

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:14, Reply)

Freak.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:14, Reply)

Jerk

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:06, Reply)

i get this joke

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:08, Reply)

this sounds like a trap thread for furries

'my puppetkin is a transgender golden gryphon half-daemon '
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:10, Reply)

i don't believe in furries.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:11, Reply)

(claps)

(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:16, Reply)

*something sexual about Zuzu's petals*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:23, Reply)

Possibly a multi coloured sock type monstrosity
Alt. Any 80's/early 90's power ballad with air grabs (gay)

AltAlt. I like to fry it with chorizo and peppers, add tomato, thyme, seasoning and whatever else you like to make Spanish chicken.
OR. Add prawns, chilli, veg, rice, tomato and make a Jambalaya
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:13, Reply)

would your puppet have psychic powers?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:14, Reply)

I missed the whole psychic thing,
can you fill me in?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:16, Reply)

guy went to a psychic reading, said he didn't believe in that kind thing
Was surprised by how accurate they were, it was the highlight of the month on here
(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:20, Reply)

That speaks volumes!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:21, Reply)

yeah, that's my point
Shit forum full of cunts, eh geordiegay?
(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:22, Reply)

If only I cared about what strangers on the internet think of me?!?!
*carries on with life*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:27, Reply)

alright,
calm down Jason.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:29, Reply)

I bet it's Jason Manford
here to try out new "material"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:30, Reply)

he's from manchester

(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Q in "knowing things about people"
So Quints, where's Bruce Forsyth from?
( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:33, Reply)

the old peoples home

(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 15:12, Reply)

So why does he call himself GeordieJay?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:33, Reply)

all northern innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:36, Reply)

I do actually live in Manchester
But am I frig, Jason Manford :(
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I don't see why he has to make such a scene.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:31, Reply)

I'm embarassed for him.
Seems so out of proportion.
( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:32, Reply)

probably drunk

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:32, Reply)

I wish!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:49, Reply)

I saw a psychic with a friend for a laugh the other week
I should have foreseen the piss being took.

*shrugs*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:21, Reply)

Geordiejay believed a psychic would tell him stuff about dead people

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:21, Reply)

I didn't see that bit

(quintsy, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:23, Reply)

and not a Haley Joel Osment in sight

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Altalt: Let it run free.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:16, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAj8suae3WY
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:18, Reply)

That video is making my winky feel funny.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:21, Reply)

nonciest name for a song ever

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:21, Reply)

I really can't stand Kate Bush, stupid songs sung in a stupid voice by a ginger munter

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:22, Reply)

She hasn't aged well, poor bitch.

( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:25, Reply)

neither have you to be fair

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:28, Reply)

SHUTUPNAKERSWE'RENOTTALKINGABOUTME
OMGIHATEYOUYOU'RESOMEAN
( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:29, Reply)

i like that in all the shoutyu capitalisation and lack of spaces, you got your apostrophe correct

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:30, Reply)

I couldn't bring myself to drop them.
I did try.
( Kroney, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:34, Reply)

you'll give up your country, but not your apostrophes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:37, Reply)

probably normal.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:30, Reply)

London Overground users
I've already started doing this on longer tube journeys:

www.brelson.com/2011/10/sit-down-on-overground-prepare-for-war/

but he appears to have put WAY more thought into it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:20, Reply)

This is great!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:47, Reply)

altalt: beat a chicken breast flat with an empty wine bottle
(cover it with baking parchment or clingfilm first) then smear soft cheese or chilli pickle or cranberry sauce on it, then add spinach leaves (or any combination really, goats cheese and hummus is also good), roll it up, then wrap it in pancetta. Season and drizzle on a little olive oil, in the oven on 200C for 20-25 minutes, job's a good'un.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:26, Reply)

one might call it a "chicken ballotine"
although that is traditionally the thigh
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:29, Reply)

Yes?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:45, Reply)

stuff him with chicken and tarrogan mousse and wrap in pancetta

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:49, Reply)

He should be burned at the stake

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:50, Reply)

INUTTERABLE CUNT

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 15:13, Reply)

It's piss easy and looks and tastes great
which is my favourite type of cookery.

EDIT: More of a roulade
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 15:04, Reply)

No idea
Alt: Bat Out of Hell

AltAlt: Chicken, mushroom and cream pasta dish.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:29, Reply)

creamy dish, creamy dish, throw it in the air and make a wish,
creamy dish, creamy dish, better at predicting than Michael Fish.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:44, Reply)

none
Puppets are disturbing
Alt it depends, if it's summer, top open, windows down, some nice N Dubz or shit hot hip hop
altalt white wine and veg in a damn pan
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Nov 2012, 14:44, Reply)