Wakey wakey you lot.
Board games/after dinner games.

Are they really all shit? I like Scrabble because I am a Stilgoe-esque 'wordsmith' aka Massive Prick. Can you recommend any others (you cannot get Escape from Colditz on eBay because there's a massive swastika on the box, fact fans). I am trying to plan ahead for a tedious 'at my mother's' Xmas. Much as I love straining to hear and see my mother's 4" television whilst she knits and her 'paaaartner' reads in silence, I was hoping for a small diversion other than watching to see how pissed my brother gets before he starts causing massive offence and then passing out.

Spears Games' 'Tell Me' quiz is banned following a near-riot two years ago. 'Monopoly' and 'Trivial Pursuit' both go on too long.

Alt: Talk about a subject other than this one, preferably in an amusing way
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:35, 149 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I a fucking champion scrabble player

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:38, Reply)

This is the funniest thing anyone has posted in yonks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:39, Reply)

+am

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:43, Reply)

You can buy Escape from Colditz on eBay
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/THE-ORIGINAL-RARE-ESCAPE-FROM-COLDITZ-GAME-BY-GIBSONS-GAMES-COMPLETE-/251189620298?pt=UK_Toys_Games_Games&hash=item3a7c116e4a
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Monty is such a fucking lier
I bet he never chopped off anyones head really
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:42, Reply)

How may points do you get for 'lier' in Scrabble?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:44, Reply)

5

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Well I never.
I read about them removing listings for it a while back. It's a good game.

We made my brother's German exchange pal play it when he was over.

'I vill play ze Germans, ja? Ziss means I must lose, yes?'

LOL
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:43, Reply)

You're just a 'tard who posts inaccuracies.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Oh Lord! Please don't let me be misunderstood

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:49, Reply)

My friends all drive Porsches, whilst I am on fooooooot

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Bored games more like!!!! AMIRITE?
I suggest that instead of watching to see how pissed your brother gets, you get yourself pissed and, ideally, asleep before all the unpleasantness starts.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:43, Reply)

I GET YOUR JOKE!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:44, Reply)

MOVE OVER STILGOE THERES A NEW WORDSMITH IN TOWN!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:44, Reply)

STAND BACK, BRANDRETH, YOUR TIME IS PAST!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Scrabble FTW
You can actually play this (and many others) on your spacephone, you know. There are versions of Boggle and such like too
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:44, Reply)

Well that should unite the family, eh?
All hunched around a telephone after the Queen's Speech.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:45, Reply)

I was simply mentioning for the other 364/5 days a year
YOU CUNT
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:56, Reply)

A traditional Christmas with all the family sitting huddled around a mobile phone.
Their faces lit by the warm glow of the screen.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Is there an echo in here?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:47, Reply)

It's the poor mobile signal - you can hear your own words echoing back after a short delay.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Delay, lay, ay, y

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Escape from Colditz is good.
Axis vs Allies is excellent as well if you've got a dayt to play.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Axis_%26_Allies

Best for family things is probably settlers of Catan.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:49, Reply)

My sister and her boyfriend got really into Settlers of the Catan a few years ago
I found it to be a bit nerdy.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:50, Reply)

It is a bit nerdy, but it is very good once you know what you're doing.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Risk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Way to cause family arguments sportscow

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Fuck that
Kamchatka is MINE!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Monty Risk
Monty and his brother get Mum's "partner" shitfaced then double team her
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Jimi Hendrix was obsessed with that game.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:07, Reply)

I bet he started a land war in Asia
the stupid fucking left-handed cunt.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:10, Reply)

Hey Joe
Where you goin' with that Guam in your hand...
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:13, Reply)

I play a bunch of board games/after dinner games with mates
You'd probably like Gloom, a cardgame where you compete to see who can have the shittiest life.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 9:58, Reply)

I'm guessing he has enough Gloom in his life already

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Precisely.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Perhaps this one is more your speed
boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/9227/weed
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:13, Reply)

If it's not Scrabble it's not worth playing.
Unless it's Taboo, actually, I like that one.

Cranium can fuck right off though.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:03, Reply)

and Mirage

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:03, Reply)

What's that?

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:03, Reply)

A shite drink, like Taboo

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Ah!
I get your 'joke' now...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Ooh, and Scatagories, actually.
I like more than I thought.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:04, Reply)

I bet you preferred playing 'Fuzzy Duck'

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Bollocks.
too much talking, not enough drinking.

I liked 'shut the fuck up and see who can neck the most red wine before lunch' though. Shame we don't play that any more.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:05, Reply)

But, it's festive!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:06, Reply)

I enjoy Christmas at my parents, it's funny.
My mum hates cooking and she hates anybody being in the kitchen when she is doing so. Watching her attempting to be polite whilst she gets increasingly frustrated at not being left alone by my stepdad's parents whilst my stepdad fusses around like an old hen serves to distract from my brother and his wife's sickening canoodling and by association my own crippling loneliness.

Then comes the disappointing presents and forced jollity.

Ah, Christmas. It's lucky we'll all be mad drunk.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:13, Reply)

Kroneys log: Sad date 2012-12-25

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:18, Reply)

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:21, Reply)

Poor sad Kroney

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:21, Reply)

All aloney Kroney :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Ronery Kroney.

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:27, Reply)

Haha that's great

( Kroney, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:25, Reply)

Morning Monty

( Peej, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:19, Reply)

I love Scrabble! awesome game. You should also try playing Presidents and Arseholes. lots of fun to play when you're drunk and trying to strategise.
Alt: Today I dissected Coenobita variabilis (australian hermit crabs!) and collected their intestinal tissues, gills, and muscles for testing for my research project over the summer. FUN TIMES!
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:27, Reply)

Fry them up with chilli and garlic when you're done, nice with pasta.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:29, Reply)

they were the size of my thumb!

(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:41, Reply)

So?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:49, Reply)

clearly, my thumbs are not that big.
they are this big.
static.panoramio.com/photos/original/3920500.jpg

And I don't like seafood.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:54, Reply)

Presidents and Arseholes, eh?
From the country that brought you "if you drink and drive, you're a bloody idiot". Is it the constant fear of death at the potential hands of all Australian wildlife that has eroded your manners to the exten that you can't name a simple boardgame without colourful language?
( Kroney, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:29, Reply)

not a board game. it's a cards game.
Lots of fun to play.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Is that the one Americans call Asshole?
It's called Shithead over here.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:42, Reply)

I think it's a little different somehow, I'm not sure though.
2 is the highest card, and clears the table. 10's also clear the table. if a 7 is played, have to play a card of lower value before a higher value card can be played. person with the 3 of clubs starts first. Aim is to get rid of your cards as fast as possible. First person to get rid of all their cards is president, the last is the arsehole.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:57, Reply)

Yeah, that's Shithead.
We don't call anyone a President for winning, just a Shithead for losing. British mentality in a nutshell, right there.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:57, Reply)

That's not shithead
shithead is:

Each player has 3 cards face-down in front of them, 3 cards face up, and 3 in their hand. Take it in turn to play a card the same or higher than the current face-up card, and replace from the draw pile. Ace is high and 2s are wild - so can be played on anything and anything can be played on them.

More than one card of the same rank can be played at the same time, so you can play 2 5s on a 4 for example - then you'd pick up 2. If you can't go you have to pick up the discard pile (and then don't have to draw until you're down to 3).

All 4 of a value being played consecutively (e.g. someone plays a 5 and the next person plays three 5s) removes the current discard pile from play.

Once the draw pile runs out you try and empty your hand, then play the face-up cards, then play the face-down cards.

Whoever is the last to get rid of all their cards is the shithead and must fetch more beer/deal the next hand.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:28, Reply)

"The Really Nasty Horse Racing Game" was much more fun than i was expecting

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:35, Reply)

Rumours on the internet that Thatcher has died...

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:36, Reply)

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
if it's true
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:38, Reply)

Not on the bbc yet... so not confirmed.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:38, Reply)

£5 says it's a false rumour.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:40, Reply)

I'm not taking that bet, I assume it's bollocks until I see a bbc news link.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)

According to Twitscoop, the bloke that orginally 'tweeted' it, has now said it was a hoax.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:46, Reply)

Back to the picket lines for you then, comrade.

( Kroney, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Come from an ex-mining family, do you?

( Kroney, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:43, Reply)

My father-in-law will certainly open a bottle of single malt when she goes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:46, Reply)

i think to celebrate one of the 20th century's greatest leaders death is pretty low, even for you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:51, Reply)

Shut up, cretin.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:52, Reply)

Seems pretty harsh to wish death on a little od lady, who did everything she could for this country

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:55, Reply)

Including defending it from foreign aggression and digging it out of the worst
depression since the Great one.
( Kroney, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:56, Reply)

We could do with her back really, she was someone not afraid of making the tough decisions

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:01, Reply)

'would', as well.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Who had her in the celebrity death pool?

( Kroney, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Dunno, search is fucked but I'm sure I did a "who will die in 2012" thread on here.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:41, Reply)

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 10:59, Reply)

I fucking love that.
That and the Simon Weston grill justify the existence of this fucking dump on their own.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:03, Reply)

Is Margaret Thatcher Dead Yet is still saying Not Yet
And obviously that is by far the most reliable source of information on the internet, bar none.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:14, Reply)

there's this parlour game right, where you have to wear a blindfold then stick your hand in a box
Then you have to guess whether it's your mum's or her "partner"s
(quintsy, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:05, Reply)

Played that one to death.
Literally.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:08, Reply)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:11, Reply)

Timothy dalton loves that game

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Peter Duncan less so.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Also, Hello Moustachely Cole.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:17, Reply)

He cannot abide the early recorded output of Suggs either.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:23, Reply)

As does Paul Atredies.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:39, Reply)

That's called "Dragon Fist" I think?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:10, Reply)

and if you pull your hand out of the box you are stung by her prehensile 'gom jabbar'

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:36, Reply)

I've done a new thread and that.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 27 Nov 2012, 11:37, Reply)