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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Well this is just fucking brilliant isn't it?

CLUE: no, it fucking isn't.

What're you doing tonight?

CLUE: no, you are not doing my mum.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:35, 115 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
What are you doing this evening?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Unsure.
Possibly going to Hertfordshire to a party. Possibly dying in bed.

I can't actually do this shit any more, it seems.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:45, Reply)
Can't you get Stunned to cook you dinner?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:51, Reply)
Nah the cunt's fucking off to Reading.
What. A. Wanker.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:52, Reply)
You should have headed to the west country.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:58, Reply)
Should I indeed.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:07, Reply)
Are you able to join Stunned and I for lunch this Friday or do you have to work?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:00, Reply)
I'll be back at work sadly.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:01, Reply)
Stunned and me, not Stunned and I.
GOD.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:01, Reply)
F.U.C.K. O.F.F.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:02, Reply)
having people round.
Food, drink, then pub, then home for more food and drink.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:41, Reply)
Will you be having any whisky?
I think I speak for everyone when I say that I would very much appreciate you going into great detail about which ones you will be drinking - ideally if you could shoehorn in a joke about 'laddie' that would be even better.

Thanks x
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:47, Reply)
probably Naked Grouse.
No paedophilia this NYE. I'm cutting back.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:02, Reply)
do you reckon your other mum is going to be doing your mum?
Cos if she lurks on here you might have just upset her a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:43, Reply)
I sincerely hope so.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:48, Reply)
hope she's doing your mum? or that she's upset?
You are a cryptic man.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:35, Reply)
I really am.
Or am I....?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:51, Reply)
You know what.
After last night, and now this, I'm not sure I can deal with this place anymore. Why are you all so hell bent on ruining this for me?
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:00, Reply)
A murder mystery party
and margaritas
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Have you ever in your life gone out and just been you?
I worry about you, you know. One day you'll wake up and you won't know whether you're good old Cavers, a goblin princess or Lady Bagshawe, the recently murdered dowager countess of Maltby.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:50, Reply)
perhaps I should go to a me-themed party

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Early beers, then staying in.
I have tonsilitis and Edinburgh is full of cunts at New Year. Two good reasons to stay in.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:52, Reply)
Unlucky mon.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:53, Reply)
Fuck all this 'not supposed to drink when on anti biotics' shit. Red wine ftw.
Good Christmas?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:54, Reply)
Not bad at all ta. You?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Yeah, apart from this bug.
Managed to get on well with the inlaws, had some great gifts (cashmere stuff, copy of LaRousse Gastronomique amongst other things), nice couple of days in Northumberland.

Also bought myself a new digital SLR camera in the sales.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:58, Reply)
You're right, it's shit.
I'm going home to god's own country, the land of special brew and deep fried mars bars. I'll be there till Friday.

Anyone want me to pass any messages on to my far more popular brother and sister?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Dec 2012, 12:55, Reply)
Kindly tell them to fuck off.
Thanks x
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:00, Reply)
'will need assistance to strap prolapse back in to place'.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:03, Reply)
'kill the bearer of this message'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:05, Reply)
Horrendous internet bullying?
Sounds like b3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:07, Reply)
What are you on about?
This is ace - a nice lazy morning spent listening to records and playing with the kids.

Alt: Amateur night out in Cov? Fuck that. I'm staying home, where I have better booze, better records and the glimmer of possibility of some sex.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:08, Reply)
What if the kids say no to sex?
You might have to ask your wife.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:10, Reply)
Nonce.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Nope
Dunno
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:11, Reply)
Friends house for a hobbit themed fancy dress.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:12, Reply)
Hi Cavy!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:13, Reply)
It's ok though, I'm going as gollum I'll be a hit with all the ladies.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:14, Reply)
Bit tight.
I don't think Chompy's going to the party because he's deeply, cripplingly lacking the attention of the opposite sex and thereby using it as a form of escapism to run away from his mundane, hum-drum life.

He's just lolwakki.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:16, Reply)
I'm Bi-LoLar

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:19, Reply)
I am so confused

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:18, Reply)
Weird.
Last night I dreamt I'd written the Hobbit. I actually woke myself it was that intense.

Turns out I'd been Tolkien in my sleep.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:21, Reply)
All I want for Christmaaass is yoooooouu.
Dead.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:22, Reply)
Meh.
I only posted it so Chompy would have something witty to say tonight.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:24, Reply)
Thanks Jeff!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:37, Reply)
You're so helpful.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:48, Reply)
I had some wicked dreams over the last few weeks, I can't remember them within 10 minutes of waking up except flashes, but I wake up thinking "FUCK YOU, ALARM, I'M ON HOLIDAY ANYWAY, WHY HAVEN'T I JUST TURNED YOU OFF?"
There was one where I was in a penthouse flat and outside in the distance was a circus with brontasorasues, then the raptors escaped and were trying to jump up to my open window. It was fucking awesome.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:48, Reply)
Alright G-man?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:54, Reply)
Alright Monts? I ain't to bad.
Here, just came across this and thought of you: londonliving.at/london-living%E2%80%99s-top-5-curry-houses/
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:11, Reply)
That link don't work for me bruv

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:29, Reply)
I suspect your opiate consumption may have an influence on your dreams.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:56, Reply)
Is battered going?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:35, Reply)
I hope not, he'd judge me for my beer choice.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:38, Reply)
As long as its not peroni,
You'll be alright.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:00, Reply)
Stellar stubbies, 10 for £6
and left over jack daniels for dessert.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:05, Reply)
I think I shall be sick in a minute.
More news as it happens.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:52, Reply)
*Yawns, looks around* is it that time already?
I’m off to a Caribbean restaurant, and then will be shocking out to Jool’s Holland to see in the New Year
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:53, Reply)
I detest Julian Holland. Sorry 'Jools'.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:54, Reply)
His musical line up is wicked

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:54, Reply)
Hopefully 'Florence and the Machine' are on. They're really good.
And Paloma Faith, she's great too.

Hopefully Julian Holland will play some 'boogie woogie' piano. That would make a change.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:56, Reply)
You really are a miserable cunt at times

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:58, Reply)
Oh Monty, Monty, Monty

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 13:59, Reply)
Paloma Faith had her lips "done" before she was famous.
I'd ask for my money back if I was her.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:02, Reply)
She is the worst kind of self-styled 'kooky' prick going.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:03, Reply)
She moves in her own way.
you're so naive.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:15, Reply)
she is fucking shit
And Barry used to totally fancy her.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:36, Reply)
er, yeah it's okay.
I worked. and then went to my friend's house for hangout time.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:08, Reply)
have you seen this?
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1349269/Australian-sue-council-colleagues-racist-greeting-depressed.html
(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:13, Reply)
oh for fucks sake.
*facepalm*
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:15, Reply)
What a flamin' galah.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:27, Reply)
One for Plumdozer here:
www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/new-festival-aimed-directly-at-twats-201203285064
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:16, Reply)
Click

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:20, Reply)
Good old Daily Mash. Routinely spot on.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:22, Reply)
The combination of bitterness, spite and superiority
is just up your alley.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:25, Reply)
*nose/point*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:27, Reply)

www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/couples-that-watch-jools-hollands-hootenanny-doomed-to-split-2012122354424
(PsychoChomp, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:30, Reply)
See Jools is worth watching just for this

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:32, Reply)
The Daily Mash is just a shit UK attempt at The Onion.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:39, Reply)
No it isn't.
Happy to have helped clear that up for you.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:44, Reply)
the onion used to be good
many years ago
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:45, Reply)
No way would I go to that.
Faithless are playing. Beacons I will probably go to.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 31 Dec 2012, 14:38, Reply)

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