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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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You got a break-out-of-jail-free card for 1 crime.
You'd be wasting it if you say rob a bank because you'd get stopped by their security messures.

So, realisticly, you can get away with one crime that you can feasably do..... what do you choose? How do you go about doing it?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:23, 130 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
The worst crime of all.
Copywrite infringment.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:24, Reply)
Worse than correct spelling infringement?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:25, Reply)
oh man
100% with lokesy here.

'Copywriting' is not the same as 'copyrighting'.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:38, Reply)
I'd wait for someoone to win a massive Euromillions jackpot
then when they are receiving their comedy sized cheque I'd use hammers and shit to make them sign it all over to me. Simple.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:25, Reply)
Paul popped to /links per your request.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:29, Reply)
I thought he might

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:32, Reply)
It seems Monty may have been right
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1824433

b3ta.com/board/10911092
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:26, Reply)
Quality bowel chat, there.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)
I'd teach a chimp to steal, and take it to hotels and rob guests and get mistaken for a hotel reviewer

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:34, Reply)
Genocide
Rid us of that curse upon the land, the Spanish
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:42, Reply)
Actually I'll strangle my client to death with a rope woven from her own stupid emails/

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:44, Reply)
but e-mails don't physically exist?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)
I print all of my emails

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
...

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)
I like to have physical copies, just in case
at any rate it means i can file them properly instead of looking through a massive inbox
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)
you stupid fucking prick
The fuck is wrong with you?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
I like how we said the same thing in different ways.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
he's a liar, nobody prints their emails
This is the worst trolling ever
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:55, Reply)
If anybody prints out their emails, it's Nakers.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:55, Reply)
and replies to them all by post

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)
with the envelope addressed to the email address

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)
and a drawing of a 'therd clarse' stamp

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)
I'm not Gonz

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)
I strangled this border terrier FOR NOTHING?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:03, Reply)
I thought it worked quite well
You both jumped straight in the deep end
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:56, Reply)
If I were you, I'd be concerned
that absolutely everybody was well prepared to believe you were this stupid.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)
Well given he can't tell an RJ11 from an RJ45
or an aerial socket from his ringpiece, it's perfectly believable.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:00, Reply)
O_o

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)
Food for thought, ain't it?
Time to start drinking and never stop.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Just in case of what?
File properly how? You mean alphabetically or by date? Yeah, it's a shame email can't do that. Much better to print them all out and put them in a massive metal filing cabinet.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:52, Reply)
You just don't give a shit about the trees do you Nakers?
You really are a prick.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)
I had no idea this was naked ape
Thanks, montyhole
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:56, Reply)
The paperless office is still a pipe-dream

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)
Are you sure one copy is enough?
Maybe you ought to print out a second and store them in an off-site location?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:55, Reply)
I might laminate them as well

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)
There is at least a point to this.
After all, you can't always subtely take your laptop to the bogs for an angerwank.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:58, Reply)
Is that why I always get funny looks?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)
It's not good for the keyboard, either

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Even I'm fucking astonished by this.
And I encounter world-class idiocy on an almost hourly basis
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:56, Reply)
Oh, you're trolLOLing.
fair does.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)
So much anger and indignation on the internet

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)
There's an "r" in the month
what do you expect?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:00, Reply)
you see yourself in the mirror every hour?
ZING!
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)
SICK





BURN
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)
Oh, ouch.
you burnt me good, q. burnt good.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)
This burn was so fierce that I got a sympathy burn :(

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:03, Reply)
sorry for harshing the thread guys, hope this helps
www.chelwest.nhs.uk/services/surgery/burns-service
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:06, Reply)
I can only assume that Nakkers is joking here
Not even he can be that big a flid.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)
I printed out an email once
we should be friends
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:02, Reply)
WHY DO YOU BUILD ME UP? BUTTERCUP BABY< JUST TO LET ME DOWN> LET ME DOWN

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
Has anyone used those storage style places?
like big yellow or lock and store.

How much are they?
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)
A lot.
We used a small one (about the size of 3 double wardrobes) and it cost about £120 a month.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)
Oh, I was thinking it would be more like £50-£75

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
Might be cheaper outside London.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
I used one when we moved to Ireland
I dunno cos my mate paid for it
Hope that helps!
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)
I looked at a place where it was 50 quid for the first month.
But I can't remember what it was called.

Happy to help!
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
CHEERS!

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)
You're more than welcome.
If I can be of any further assistance, please don't hesitate to contact me.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)
The big green shamrock storage company.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)
they probably have price lists on their websites
Or if you phone them they will tell you how much they charge! Happy to help xx
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:54, Reply)
nope theyre like gyms put your details in ans we'll send you a quote.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)
storage people are pricks?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)
I'd rape you all
No exceptions
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:45, Reply)
\o/

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)
I'd buy gonz a dog, and then kill it in front of him

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)
Clicking this.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:48, Reply)
I'd solicit sex from you, and then rob you while you were asleep

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:50, Reply)
and I'd make you all look me in the eye as I did it
And send videos of me doing it to your parents
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:46, Reply)
How unfair, What about poor old AA?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:47, Reply)
dig up his mum and make her skeleton watch
I'd tailor all my raping for each individual, I'm considerate like that
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:49, Reply)
You sentimental fool
After all the helicopter quips at your expense they deserve it
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:51, Reply)
oh what, helicopter quips?
I thought I was a popular and well liked member of this close knit community
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:53, Reply)
I consent to this.
Making this no longer a rape.
Stick your 'No exceptions'
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:57, Reply)
it doesn't have to be sexual rape

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:01, Reply)
What have you got in mind?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:05, Reply)
I would smoke some marijuana cigarettes, the worst crime eva!

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 14:59, Reply)
I'm addicted to those, it's ruining my life

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:00, Reply)
The opening sentence of a website I'm on reads thusly:
"If you are experiencing problems with leaking flanges..."
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:05, Reply)
I bet you print out websites and read them like newspapers.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:07, Reply)
I have them tatooed onto your mums arse
I CALL IT A BROADSHEET!q"""""!!!
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:10, Reply)
hahaha, nice one

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:12, Reply)
thanks Q, you're a pal

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:13, Reply)
Too many sick burns flying around here today
I'm going to end up looking like Weston at this rate.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:14, Reply)
Simon Weston has more dates

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:18, Reply)
And Weston super Mare has less crabs.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:19, Reply)

crabs frogs.
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)
I bet he takes screenshots by turning his monitor facing-down onto his industrial printer

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:17, Reply)
Nah, he uses a Box Brownie to photograph it, then waits for the prints to come back from Boots.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:20, Reply)
Here's a picture of the office fridge
sphotos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/s480x480/734167_10151162057532030_1511739774_n.jpg
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:33, Reply)
lol, did they actually put their name on it?

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:34, Reply)
Yeah, but it was torn off before I got there so I don't know who it was.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:37, Reply)
Oh man, it was an Uncle Ben's rice and all.
They must have been really looking forward to that :(
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 15:43, Reply)
No more Mr Rice guy.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 16:23, Reply)
I'd get famous by fraudulantly claiming
I'd created some kind of art/invented some kind of invention
(, Thu 17 Jan 2013, 16:18, Reply)

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